Forgive, Refuse, or Walk Away

[kurtsprincess]

I would have to work through my anger and hatred so that I could move on with my own growth and not live in the actions of others.

Good point.

I think we have this goal in common, even though we may have reached this place following differing paths when it comes to the act of forgiving.


Regardless of how we get there, or how we categorize the path we take to get there.......the important thing is that we actually get there. To that place where we are not expending energy or, as you said, "living in the actions of others".

 

[Hagbard Celine]

Hey, I'd let bygones be bygones. But what do I know, I'm not Jewish.

Speaking of, there's this beautiful Jewish girl in my Journalism Ethics class, but I'm too nervous to talk to her because I'm a gentile. Am I overthinking this one?

 

[5stringJeff]

Hey, I'd let bygones be bygones. But what do I know, I'm not Jewish.

Speaking of, there's this beautiful Jewish girl in my Journalism Ethics class, but I'm too nervous to talk to her because I'm a gentile. Am I overthinking this one?

Go for it... you never know what she'll say.

 

[archangel]

Gods domain...if the sin was just annoying to me I suppose I could forgive the sinner...however if it crosses the line into the pit of murder,pain and destruction...well I will leave that one to God! He is the ultimate judge on forgiveness of sin...God judges us by our deeds... good or bad...It is not my purview to judge either way!

 

[archangel]

I haven't read all the posts in this thread so I'm not sure where everyone stands on this issue. Here's my personal journey with forgiveness.


My stepdad, Bob, physically, sexually and psychologically abused three of my brothers and me for years. When I was 13 I realized he was abusing my brothers, and I finally got the courage to tell my mother. He went to jail for two years............ however, my mother kept in touch with him during all that time and then let him come back after he got out. Imagine how life was in our house after being betrayed like this.

I carried around a lot of hate and anger for about 10 years.........to the point where I had ulcers that threatened to kill me and did put me in the hospital and on medication before I was 18. My doctor said I had to change my outlook on life or I would die.

A lot of people said I needed to forgive my mom and Bob. I couldn't, can't and won't. No need. What happened has shaped who I am and I'm happy to be the person I am. I have no idea who I would be today if I had tried the forgiveness path.

I believe, that to forgive, one truly does need to feel it in their hearts. Just saying it and wishing it will not change what we truly feel.

So.......I couldn't forgive, but I did have to change something. One day I had an epiphany.............I finally realized that my anger took too much energy to maintain......energy I needed to channel elsewhere.........energy needed to heal myself........energy to take care of myself more than anything.

Without focusing on the "forgiveness" aspect, I was able to release my connection to the situation which freed up energy that has helped me to become not only successful and happy, but healthy.

My take on anger and hatred...........use the energy it creates to accomplish whatever needs to be accomplished and then release it. Then use the freed up energy on some other goal. I like to think of it as changing my spark plugs.

And what about the person committing the transgression you might ask? I say.....let them figure out how to deal with it, but I will no longer invest energy in the situation.

this was heartwrenching...I was very lucky...I grew up in a loving and normal family environment...I raised my kids and grandkids the same way...If this had happened to me I suppose I would have "Taken Out" the offender...but not having lived this abomination I am only speaking from a normal perspective...God bless you on your journey!

 

[USViking]

I would disagree with you here. All of us are guilty of sin, and it doesn't matter what specific sin we commit, we are all guilty. See James 2:10-11: "For whoever keeps the whole law but fails in one point has become accountable for all of it. For he who said, "Do not commit adultery," also said, "Do not murder." If you do not commit adultery but do murder, you have become a transgressor of the law." So the Nazi guard, the guy who cheats on his wife, the person who uses coarse language - all are equally guilty of sin.

They are equal only in the sense they are all sinners.

I do not believe any rational interpretation of the
scriptures would assign the same degree of guilt
to a pickpocket as to a concentration camp guard.

But all have been accorded the chance to forgive, and all have been given the imperative to forgive (see Matthew 6:14-15: "For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.")
Yet again, we have the responsibility to forgive even those terrorists who have killed Americans. I'm not saying it's an easy thing to do, but it is required of us.

Whether all Christian theologians would agree with
such an extreme imperative to forgive, I do not know.

I do not consider myself bound by their opinions;
others may suit themselves.

 

[kurtsprincess]

this was heartwrenching...I was very lucky...I grew up in a loving and normal family environment...I raised my kids and grandkids the same way...If this had happened to me I suppose I would have "Taken Out" the offender...but not having lived this abomination I am only speaking from a normal perspective...God bless you on your journey!

Thanks arch!!

As for "taking out" the offender...........can't tell you how many scenarios I played out in my head....for years!!!

He finally died alone and in agony ..... stomach cancer the main ailment. Who knows, perhaps all the negative energy I had managed to release was redirected by the universe and his karma caught up with him.