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Discussion in 'Humor' started by Phoenix, May 15, 2011.

  1. Phoenix
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    Phoenix fideli certa merces

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    One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt.

    Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,
    he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the
    washing machine?'

    'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'

    He yelled back, ' DALLAS COWBOYS'! :eusa_eh:

    And they say blondes are dumb....
     
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  2. Phoenix
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    A couple is lying in bed. The man says,'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world..'


    The woman replies, 'I'll miss you........
     
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    'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

    'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
     
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    Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A: A rumor
     
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    Dear Lord,
    I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; and Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.
    AMEN
     
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  6. Phoenix
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    Q: Why do little boys whine?
    A: They are practicing to be men.
     
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    Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
    A: Trustworthy..
     
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    Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
    A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
     
    Last edited: May 15, 2011
  9. Phoenix
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    Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
    A: It helps them remember which end to wipe...
     
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    Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
    A: Rename the email folder 'Instruction Manuals'
     

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