For Men Only - Basic Programming Tips

Discussion in 'Humor' started by GotZoom, Aug 12, 2005.

  1. GotZoom

    GotZoom Senior Member

    Apr 20, 2005
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    Cordova, TN
    Dear Tech Support:

    Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that
    the new program began unexpected processing that took up a lot of space
    and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other
    programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as
    Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golfing 3.6 no
    longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected.

    I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run
    my favorite applications. I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0,
    but the uninstall doesn't work on Wife 1.0. Please help!


    A Troubled User



    Dear Troubled User:

    This is a very common problem that men complain about.

    Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
    just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
    SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
    impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
    impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once

    You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to
    not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
    Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
    situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear"
    to alleviate software augmentation.

    The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
    ultimately you! will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the
    system will return to normal anyway.

    Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
    Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as
    Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

    However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper
    use will cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5.
    Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and
    Diamonds 5.0

    WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With
    Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will
    cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

    Best of luck,

    Tech Support

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