Fat, Slow-Witted Men in Commercials

[Joz]

Originally posted by Merlin1047

.....But I'm getting a little tired of being a member of the only group that isn't allowed to be offended......

Musicman always tells me,

A hate crime is committed by a heterosexual, white, christian male against everybody else.

 

[William Joyce]

There is an ad for Ban deodorant that says "Ban conformity. Ban hate."

I had to laugh.

Be against racism. Buy our products. Hey, is the left getting this? Your holy cause is now worth millions.

 

[Hobbit]

I'll cross the "you can't tell that" line, and if anyone gets offended, bite me!

Ok, so there's this guy in California who has been so devout that God grants him a single wish. The guy then wishes for a bridge to Hawaii so he can visit his relatives there without having to fly or take a cruise.
God says to him, "That's a little far out there. Is there anything else you want?"
The guy says, "Sure, I want to know how women think."
God replies, "One lane or two?"

There's a guy sitting in his office one day when a genie pops out of his ash tray and says, "What will your third wish be?"
The guy says, "Third wish? What happened to the other two?"
The genie replies, "Your second wish was to revoke your first wish and all memory of it."
The guy then says, "Oh, okay. Well, I want to know how women think and why they do all that crazy stuff."
The genie bows his head and says, "Granted."
As he leaves, he looks back and says, "Funny, that was your first wish, too."

I had a friend who about got beaten up because he was sitting in a Waffle House full of black people telling a friend about how much he hated "knickers," as in the pants. When he figured out his mistake and explained, they all thought it was kinda funny, so he continued the joke by saying things such as:

What do you call 500 knickers at the bottom of a lake?
A good start.

How do you keep a knicker from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.