Fat and Lazy
from the Dishwasher Archives
Hi,
I've had a problem all my adult life. I've tried solving this problem in so many different ways that that maybe I'm just destined to be this way forever.
Stated simply it is this: I am Fat and Lazy.
I never, ever make any headway. I'm 42 years old and still at the same basic poverty level and health level I've been since I was 25. I know the obvious answer: work harder, exercise and lose the weight. Know also, that I have tried every method I've come across in twenty years of dealing with this. Every fresh start ends in failure.
I have a wife and three beautiful kids. I love everything about my life except living on the edge of poverty and feeling so fat and unhealthy. I have a love of God even though I suspect He's not going to help me unless I help myself
I think, perhaps I am doomed to "live this life of quiet desperation" I have an impulse to give up and just do nothing.
Fat and Lazy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Dearest Fat and Lazy,
You need to, essentially, wake yourself up. I've seen this happen quickly for people whose life is threatened -- The texture of life changes dramatically, there are moments of ecstasy as well as a rich sadness. Consider you're yourself now, asleep, blissfully dead asleep.
Wake up dear one.
Yes, your impulse to give up and do nothing about being fat or lazy comes the closest to being the right path for you because being fat or lazy is not the problem, so give yourself full permission to be whomever you are when you wake up.
Many mystics believe a person is asleep when their consciousness becomes habitual. Like behavioral habits thinking habits past the time without you knowing it. Contemplate for a moment the origins of all your movements. What motivated you to get up, to move to the kitchen, to leave for work etc. You will notice that you respond to inner or outer stimuli in a habitual way. Over time your mind learns this pattern of perception and adopts it .it goes to sleep from not being needed (also known as growing up). Real freedom or liberation severs the bonds of your personal and cultural history, your psychological preconditions that dictate who you are real freedom is waking up to the world around you. When this happens a great compassion descends on the mind, a great happiness to be alive. And out of the reservoir of humanity wells up motivation, energy and enthusiasm. This begins to cure all your other problems. Forget about curing laziness that is not the problem.
To really move out of habitual consciousness you will eventually need the aid of another person, but even the family pet would do for starters. A guide could be your minister, a therapist or a meditation counselor, your best friend. These gurus are all around you and they don't need to possess any special knowledge. This kind of learning is not taught, but is the process of interaction, challenge and experience for those who are awake. Otherwise life is a series of movements, reactions. I think I overhead one of the teenagers say it better: "Eat shit and die"
In the mean time try this simple little mind exercise using some household items: a safety pin, button and little pocket notebook.
Attach a safety pin to a button and wear it on your shirt pocket. Every time your mind speaks the words, fat or lazy.... Touch it, smile and agree. Then repeat those words " eat shit and die" (maybe to yourself). When people ask you why the button....you can tell them it's the red existential panic button....the light switch to your subconscious prayer button, anything, but most importantly always smile.
Let this be an exercise without purpose and without any expected results. At first it will seem odd and fruitless. Treat this exercise as play rather than discipline. Most importantly, absolutely do not expect any results or changes in behavior or attitudes, do not monitor your progress. Take a small notebook and make notes about what you felt only. What if you had only one week to live and you knew it! write down your interesting one week to live fantasies.
How would you feel about daily life? Write your thoughts? Take notes, don't try to write beautiful prose. Doodle if you like. No analysis.
This is a version of what is called the stop exercise employed by students of Gurdjeft at his Paris institute in the 30s and 40s. For more reading about waking up.
yours
The Dishwasher
"Even the best therapy can only return us to a state of common unhappiness."
Freud
http://www.natashascafe.com/html/d16.html
from the Dishwasher Archives
Hi,
I've had a problem all my adult life. I've tried solving this problem in so many different ways that that maybe I'm just destined to be this way forever.
Stated simply it is this: I am Fat and Lazy.
I never, ever make any headway. I'm 42 years old and still at the same basic poverty level and health level I've been since I was 25. I know the obvious answer: work harder, exercise and lose the weight. Know also, that I have tried every method I've come across in twenty years of dealing with this. Every fresh start ends in failure.
I have a wife and three beautiful kids. I love everything about my life except living on the edge of poverty and feeling so fat and unhealthy. I have a love of God even though I suspect He's not going to help me unless I help myself
I think, perhaps I am doomed to "live this life of quiet desperation" I have an impulse to give up and just do nothing.
Fat and Lazy
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
My Dearest Fat and Lazy,
You need to, essentially, wake yourself up. I've seen this happen quickly for people whose life is threatened -- The texture of life changes dramatically, there are moments of ecstasy as well as a rich sadness. Consider you're yourself now, asleep, blissfully dead asleep.
Wake up dear one.
Yes, your impulse to give up and do nothing about being fat or lazy comes the closest to being the right path for you because being fat or lazy is not the problem, so give yourself full permission to be whomever you are when you wake up.
Many mystics believe a person is asleep when their consciousness becomes habitual. Like behavioral habits thinking habits past the time without you knowing it. Contemplate for a moment the origins of all your movements. What motivated you to get up, to move to the kitchen, to leave for work etc. You will notice that you respond to inner or outer stimuli in a habitual way. Over time your mind learns this pattern of perception and adopts it .it goes to sleep from not being needed (also known as growing up). Real freedom or liberation severs the bonds of your personal and cultural history, your psychological preconditions that dictate who you are real freedom is waking up to the world around you. When this happens a great compassion descends on the mind, a great happiness to be alive. And out of the reservoir of humanity wells up motivation, energy and enthusiasm. This begins to cure all your other problems. Forget about curing laziness that is not the problem.
To really move out of habitual consciousness you will eventually need the aid of another person, but even the family pet would do for starters. A guide could be your minister, a therapist or a meditation counselor, your best friend. These gurus are all around you and they don't need to possess any special knowledge. This kind of learning is not taught, but is the process of interaction, challenge and experience for those who are awake. Otherwise life is a series of movements, reactions. I think I overhead one of the teenagers say it better: "Eat shit and die"
In the mean time try this simple little mind exercise using some household items: a safety pin, button and little pocket notebook.
Attach a safety pin to a button and wear it on your shirt pocket. Every time your mind speaks the words, fat or lazy.... Touch it, smile and agree. Then repeat those words " eat shit and die" (maybe to yourself). When people ask you why the button....you can tell them it's the red existential panic button....the light switch to your subconscious prayer button, anything, but most importantly always smile.
Let this be an exercise without purpose and without any expected results. At first it will seem odd and fruitless. Treat this exercise as play rather than discipline. Most importantly, absolutely do not expect any results or changes in behavior or attitudes, do not monitor your progress. Take a small notebook and make notes about what you felt only. What if you had only one week to live and you knew it! write down your interesting one week to live fantasies.
How would you feel about daily life? Write your thoughts? Take notes, don't try to write beautiful prose. Doodle if you like. No analysis.
This is a version of what is called the stop exercise employed by students of Gurdjeft at his Paris institute in the 30s and 40s. For more reading about waking up.
yours
The Dishwasher
"Even the best therapy can only return us to a state of common unhappiness."
Freud
http://www.natashascafe.com/html/d16.html
