- Sep 22, 2013
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This politics-idealism parable referencing the Fantastic Four (Marvel Comics) and the relatively politically-neutral nation of Norway was inspired by the films Independence Day, Clear and Present Danger, Mars Attacks!, and World War Z.
It's dedicated to Donald Trump!
Signing off,
====
The Fantastic Four arrived in Norway to deal with a terrible new menace called Hydra which was destroying the whole country. Hydra was a super-criminal organization led by a nefarious red-mask wearing terrorist named Doom. Hydra was running a narcotics-ring as well as dropping hallucinogens into the Norwegian drinking-water and using the country to store biochemical weapons. It was a traffic-based fascist operation which was driving the people of Norway insane. Norwegians simply felt unsafe and schizophrenic about everyday happiness. That's why U.S. President Donald Trump sent the Fantastic Four to Norway.
The Fantastic Four divided up, with the Thing and the Human Torch dealing with the narcotics-ring and the biochemical weapons silos and Mr. and Mrs. Fantastic dealing with the hallucinogen drinking-water poisoning. Thing and Torch destroyed shipments of drugs coming into the Norwegian harbor into Hydra's evil hands and then extracted the information about the biochemical weapons silo locations and then burned the silos to the ground. Mr. and Mrs. Fantastic had the U.S. government bring in shiploads of safe bottled Poland Spring drinking-water (a coordinated effort with the United Nations and Red Cross) so Norwegians could avoid the drinking-water poisoned by hallucinogens (developed in Doom's insidious labs).
The Fantastic Four then teamed up to take down the goons of Hydra by groups before finally getting to Doom's lair where they unearthed Doom's grand scheme to use Norway as a base of operations to plan a global terror initiative directed at the West. Hydra was to fire biochemical missiles at Washington on Valentine's Day and then fire a nuclear missile at the San Andreas Fault in California. The plan was to destroy the West and then forge a new 'Alliance' with Communist China and Communist North Korea (all devised by Doom himself). Doom then planned to use his lab's work with genetics to design a new race of semi-ape/semi-human slave-soldiers to serve his new impressive 'Empire.' The plan would make humans mindless beasts.
The Fantastic Four realized that Hydra's intention was to corrupt the natural beauty and splendor of Norway and use it as a 'rationale' to devastate the entire West (before Doom 'reoriented' the world into this ominous 'Empire'). Mr. Fantastic reported all these findings to the U.S. government, and President Trump then began devising the necessary peace-security protocols to stabilize China and North Korea (so they would not be 'absorbed' into Hydra or any other terrorist organization!). Mrs. Fantastic realized that Doom's plan was not only terrorism-oriented but also a thing of 'mad science' (since Doom had cooked up his ugly scheme of genetic engineering and mind-control!). After all the madness died down, Thing and Torch enjoyed Cuban cigars on Miami Beach (enjoying the Super Bowl game between the New England Patriots and the Minnesota Vikings!).
MR. FANTASTIC: Doom's plan was to make Hydra the 'New Reich.'
TRUMP: He was a real monster; thanks for all your heroics.
MR. FANTASTIC: My team was honored to help (and save Norway!).
TRUMP: We'll do the necessary work now to stabilize all commercial peace relations.
MR. FANTASTIC: Yes, China and North Korea seemed 'primed for the plucking.'
TRUMP: Terror and fascists make for strange 'unified evil,' Mr. Fantastic!
MR. FANTASTIC: You said it, Mr. President. My team is now on vacation.
TRUMP: It's a deserved vacation. Mrs. Fantastic supplied our scientists with vital info.
MR. FANTASTIC: Yes, Doom sought a massive 'mind-control devastation-.'
TRUMP: Perhaps mad scientists are real...
MR. FANTASTIC: We'll be there if you need us again, sir.
TRUMP: That's a relief; you can never predict political schizophrenia.
MR. FANTASTIC: At least patriotism/optimism quells the forces of anarchy!
TRUMP: We need to assure the United Nations that fascism is never a threat.
MR. FANTASTIC: That will require teamwork between scientists and statesmen!
TRUMP: I wonder if Hydra/Doom scarred Norway's sense of psychological security.
MR. FANTASTIC: Our team did everything possible to restore pedestrian comforts.
TRUMP: This was an important victory for democracy, science, and globalization.
====
It's dedicated to Donald Trump!
Signing off,
====
The Fantastic Four arrived in Norway to deal with a terrible new menace called Hydra which was destroying the whole country. Hydra was a super-criminal organization led by a nefarious red-mask wearing terrorist named Doom. Hydra was running a narcotics-ring as well as dropping hallucinogens into the Norwegian drinking-water and using the country to store biochemical weapons. It was a traffic-based fascist operation which was driving the people of Norway insane. Norwegians simply felt unsafe and schizophrenic about everyday happiness. That's why U.S. President Donald Trump sent the Fantastic Four to Norway.
The Fantastic Four divided up, with the Thing and the Human Torch dealing with the narcotics-ring and the biochemical weapons silos and Mr. and Mrs. Fantastic dealing with the hallucinogen drinking-water poisoning. Thing and Torch destroyed shipments of drugs coming into the Norwegian harbor into Hydra's evil hands and then extracted the information about the biochemical weapons silo locations and then burned the silos to the ground. Mr. and Mrs. Fantastic had the U.S. government bring in shiploads of safe bottled Poland Spring drinking-water (a coordinated effort with the United Nations and Red Cross) so Norwegians could avoid the drinking-water poisoned by hallucinogens (developed in Doom's insidious labs).
The Fantastic Four then teamed up to take down the goons of Hydra by groups before finally getting to Doom's lair where they unearthed Doom's grand scheme to use Norway as a base of operations to plan a global terror initiative directed at the West. Hydra was to fire biochemical missiles at Washington on Valentine's Day and then fire a nuclear missile at the San Andreas Fault in California. The plan was to destroy the West and then forge a new 'Alliance' with Communist China and Communist North Korea (all devised by Doom himself). Doom then planned to use his lab's work with genetics to design a new race of semi-ape/semi-human slave-soldiers to serve his new impressive 'Empire.' The plan would make humans mindless beasts.
The Fantastic Four realized that Hydra's intention was to corrupt the natural beauty and splendor of Norway and use it as a 'rationale' to devastate the entire West (before Doom 'reoriented' the world into this ominous 'Empire'). Mr. Fantastic reported all these findings to the U.S. government, and President Trump then began devising the necessary peace-security protocols to stabilize China and North Korea (so they would not be 'absorbed' into Hydra or any other terrorist organization!). Mrs. Fantastic realized that Doom's plan was not only terrorism-oriented but also a thing of 'mad science' (since Doom had cooked up his ugly scheme of genetic engineering and mind-control!). After all the madness died down, Thing and Torch enjoyed Cuban cigars on Miami Beach (enjoying the Super Bowl game between the New England Patriots and the Minnesota Vikings!).
MR. FANTASTIC: Doom's plan was to make Hydra the 'New Reich.'
TRUMP: He was a real monster; thanks for all your heroics.
MR. FANTASTIC: My team was honored to help (and save Norway!).
TRUMP: We'll do the necessary work now to stabilize all commercial peace relations.
MR. FANTASTIC: Yes, China and North Korea seemed 'primed for the plucking.'
TRUMP: Terror and fascists make for strange 'unified evil,' Mr. Fantastic!
MR. FANTASTIC: You said it, Mr. President. My team is now on vacation.
TRUMP: It's a deserved vacation. Mrs. Fantastic supplied our scientists with vital info.
MR. FANTASTIC: Yes, Doom sought a massive 'mind-control devastation-.'
TRUMP: Perhaps mad scientists are real...
MR. FANTASTIC: We'll be there if you need us again, sir.
TRUMP: That's a relief; you can never predict political schizophrenia.
MR. FANTASTIC: At least patriotism/optimism quells the forces of anarchy!
TRUMP: We need to assure the United Nations that fascism is never a threat.
MR. FANTASTIC: That will require teamwork between scientists and statesmen!
TRUMP: I wonder if Hydra/Doom scarred Norway's sense of psychological security.
MR. FANTASTIC: Our team did everything possible to restore pedestrian comforts.
TRUMP: This was an important victory for democracy, science, and globalization.
====
