faith-based support groups for men addicted to pornography

[Powerman]

Bonnie you have a good point but the point is it has nothing to do with cocaine. Which is the whole point of this thread....l

Adults!

 

[Bonnie]

Rape is about men hating women and wanting to exact power over them. If you listen to rapists interviewed it's not about hornyness it's about control. True some men have a higher libido than others however they don't rape because of that. If you want to say that some rapists who hate women and also have a high libido that would be correct.

 

[Said1]

Rape is about men hating women and wanting to exact power over them. If you listen to rapists interviewed it's not about hornyness it's about control. True some men have a higher libido than others however they don't rape because of that. If you want to say that some rapists who hate women and also have a high libido that would be correct.

It's ok Bonnie, we're right, he's wrong. PERIOD.

 

[Bonnie]

Bonnie you have a good point but the point is it has nothing to do with cocaine. Which is the whole point of this thread....l

Adults!

Actually the point of this thread was about pornography addiction, it evolved into one about the correlation of porn and cocaine. Addiction is addiction doesn't matter what the addiction is but rather is it a destructive one. Exercise can be an addiction if one becomes obsessed and risks their health by over doing it because they get addicted to the rush of hormones that comes with vigorous work outs. Same thing can be said about shopping, gambling etc.

By Paul Strand, Washington Correspondent, cbn.com

Pornography has always been around. But today, what once was a hidden, isolated problem, has become a widespread crisis.



SALT LAKE CITY, Utah — Everyone is aware that it is easy to become addicted to cocaine or heroin. But how about pornography? Researchers have made that startling new discovery, and a group of counselors and therapists is warning this addiction may soon become an epidemic.
Pornography may be the new addiction of this new century. Researchers are finding that when people indulge in porn, they release powerful chemicals in their brain and body.


Mark Kastleman, author of The Drug of the New Millennium, said, "There are a growing number of therapists and psychologists who are saying that this is as addictive as cocaine," or alcohol, or even heroin.

Kastleman has been researching and writing about porn addictions for six years, as well as training pastors and counselors on how to deal with it.

He explained that, when people view porn, "It causes the brain to release what we call endogenous drugs or endogenous chemicals. 'Endogenous' meaning 'produced from within.' So where cocaine or alcohol seek to mimic the brain's natural chemicals, pornography releases the real deal. And so we have things like adrenaline, epinephrine, ACTH."

Therapist Dan Gray has counseled 700 to 800 porn addicts. Compared to alcoholics or drug addicts, "Some will have a more difficult time getting off the sexual addictions," Gray said.

Leading sex addiction therapist Patrick Carnes, author of Facing the Shadow and Don't Call It Love, said, "Now that we understand how the brain functions, and as we are able to get pictures of the brain functioning, we're starting to understand that all addiction is a hijacking of the brain."

One recovering addict named "Sam" told us, "I spent time with Internet pornography instead of my family. I was like a junkie without drugs."


Sam says two things told him he was physically addicted to porn: "First, when I kept making excuses to go back and look again and again. And secondly, when I tried to stop and found that I absolutely could not stop."

Pornography has always been around. But today, what once was a hidden, isolated problem, has become a widespread crisis. What’s the reason? Blame the Internet, because of what Kastleman calls "the three A's."

"It's accessible. In other words, you hit a button and you're instantly there. It's affordable. Much of it's low-cost or no cost at all. And it's anonymous. And the anonymity is the real key, especially with religious people. They can do it without anyone knowing. So you don't stagger around with a hangover the next day, you don't have needlemarks in your arms."

Carnes said, "The Internet cybersex, we have people who are talking 35, 40, 50 hours a week that they're spending time doing that."

Roughly 40 million people in the U.S. are said to be sexually involved with the Internet.

And another recovering addict, we'll call him "Ed," says everything from soft-core to the hardest of hard-core is right there. "It's as easy as the click of a button to have anything you want at your fingertips," he said.

Carnes said, "There are now people who have problems with sexual compulsion that never would have had them if it hadn't been for the Internet." And as a result, when they are caught, many are losing their jobs. Others see their homes broken up by divorce.

Sam said, "My family was unhappy, I was unhappy, my life was in a shambles frankly… And the peace that I had enjoyed for so long in my life was gone."

Ed recalled, "I was very suicidal...very depressed. I had reached a point of despair where I thought it was uncorrectable. I was flawed to the point where there was nothing that could be done about me. And so the only alternative was to end my life."

But instead of suicide, Ed found hope and help here in Salt Lake City when he met some of the leading fighters against porn addiction. They live here and have linked up.

Kastleman fights by writing about the porn problem, like in his book, The Drug of the New Millennium. And he is starting to hold anti-pornography seminars with counselors, therapists and even pastors.


Porn addiction hits every group, every class, and both genders. And as we found in a city as dominated by religion as Salt Lake City, not even people of faith are immune. Kastleman said, "In the religious community, we're finding this addiction is skyrocketing."

Sam said, "I was a leader in my local church organization. I worked with youth groups. I served in the community. And yet I had this secret life."

Then there's Ed. "I developed a dual lifestyle," he explained. "On one hand, we went to church every Sunday... Yet, on the other hand, I had this addiction."

Kastleman says we live in such a stressful time, and religious believers usually don't allow themselves typical stress-relievers like smoking and drinking. They want to avoid these vices and the appearance of evil.

But Internet porn is secret.

Kastleman said, "Now suddenly you have a little mouse where you hit a button, and instantly you get this flood of brain chemicals. No one knows you're doing it and it's completely affordable or no cost at all."

Clinical psychologist Randy Hyde says the religious porn addicts are the last to ever admit their addiction and get help. "They don't want to be seen as some 'sleazebag,' and that's how they see themselves," he explained.

That fear kept Sam trapped in his addiction for years. "The guilt that I felt and the shame, just absolute shame of doing what I was doing. The fear of being caught, the fear of being found out," he said.

Sam might still be trapped if he wasn't finally "found out," a humiliating moment that motivated his recovery.

"My teenage son walked into an area of the house where I was looking at pornography and walked away, and I didn't know for a few days what had taken place. It was extremely sad. He was upset, my wife was upset, and he and I are still recovering from the damage to our relationship," Sam said.

But all our interviewees agreed that everyone can kick this addiction. It may be really hard, but everyone can get free.

Ed said, "From my experiences, you've got to hit bottom first. You've got to want to recover more than you want life itself. And when you reach that point, then you're willing to surrender it to God."

Sam said, "Just like an alcoholic or a drug abuser, they have a physical addiction and they need help through an addiction recovery program."

But with Internet porn proliferating so rapidly, Kastleman expects the addiction rate to skyrocket.

He said, "'Do I push the button or do I not?' When have we ever seen that little, that slight [of] a barrier standing between a person and a drug? I mean, we've never seen anything like that in the history of the world."

http://www.oradix.com/health/theepidemicpornaddictionan.shtml

 

[Hobbit]

It's still force. Forcing someone to do something is not suppose to enhance your erection, is it?

When did violent rapes become rare?



Just like some men get a hard on by over powering someone, holding a knife to their throat then sticking their dick in them? Or doing something less violent to their GIRLFRIEND, he only wants sex.



Abuse and violence is about power - overpowering someone, force, violence, dominence, submission. Find me a normal man who gets hot when he forces his girlfreind to make love to him. Just one. And btw, the only people I've ever seen excuse this just happens to be you, and the five rapists. Neat.

It's not an excuse. That's misinterpreting me. Force is a means to an end. In the case of rape, it's a very horrible means to the end of getting an orgasm. I never said that power wasn't an issue at all, just that it's not ALL about power. It's about getting an orgasm. Maybe power adds to that, but then again, that still makes the power a means, not an end. You're treating power as an end. In fact, I just went and took a look for studies, since you seemed intent to simply disagree with me. If you look at the summed up data, it says that it's primarily about power. If you look at the hard data, it shows that the power trip was what got them 'excited,' making it still about the end result of an orgasm. Maybe I wasn't clear that I simply believe the orgasm, rather than the power, is the point. If that's the case, sorry, but you're still being quite hostile and you've still failed to prevent any sources, just what you percieve as "well known fact."

Uhh hello, are you a sicko or what?

Cute. I disagree with you on the motives of rape, and that makes me a sicko. Very well thought out argument, said. NOW would be proud.

Even if I'm wrong, can you blame me for strong skepticism? The same people I hear saying that "rape is all about power and violence," in any official capacity are the same people who all but say, "having a 'Y' chromosome makes you a rapist." Those who don't say it in an official capacity ususally heard it from one of these people. At least that's what I've seen.

 

[Gunny]

It's not an excuse. That's misinterpreting me. Force is a means to an end. In the case of rape, it's a very horrible means to the end of getting an orgasm. I never said that power wasn't an issue at all, just that it's not ALL about power. It's about getting an orgasm. Maybe power adds to that, but then again, that still makes the power a means, not an end. You're treating power as an end. In fact, I just went and took a look for studies, since you seemed intent to simply disagree with me. If you look at the summed up data, it says that it's primarily about power. If you look at the hard data, it shows that the power trip was what got them 'excited,' making it still about the end result of an orgasm. Maybe I wasn't clear that I simply believe the orgasm, rather than the power, is the point. If that's the case, sorry, but you're still being quite hostile and you've still failed to prevent any sources, just what you percieve as "well known fact."



Cute. I disagree with you on the motives of rape, and that makes me a sicko. Very well thought out argument, said. NOW would be proud.

Even if I'm wrong, can you blame me for strong skepticism? The same people I hear saying that "rape is all about power and violence," in any official capacity are the same people who all but say, "having a 'Y' chromosome makes you a rapist." Those who don't say it in an official capacity ususally heard it from one of these people. At least that's what I've seen.

Rapists don't commit the act to acheive orgasm. It is ALL about control. In many cases, the rapist can't even get it up and/or achieve orgasm. Impotence or a feeling thereof leads to the crime of rape. It's an ego trip. They are in complete control.

 

[Said1]

It's not an excuse. That's misinterpreting me. Force is a means to an end. In the case of rape, it's a very horrible means to the end of getting an orgasm. I never said that power wasn't an issue at all, just that it's not ALL about power. It's about getting an orgasm. Maybe power adds to that, but then again, that still makes the power a means, not an end. You're treating power as an end. In fact, I just went and took a look for studies, since you seemed intent to simply disagree with me. If you look at the summed up data, it says that it's primarily about power. If you look at the hard data, it shows that the power trip was what got them 'excited,' making it still about the end result of an orgasm. Maybe I wasn't clear that I simply believe the orgasm, rather than the power, is the point. If that's the case, sorry, but you're still being quite hostile and you've still failed to prevent any sources, just what you percieve as "well known fact."

You haven't provided "facts" either. AND you don't even understand the info you presented above. Force is the turn on, like two chicks going at it in a hot tub. It makes you hot, then you jerk off, right?

Cute. I disagree with you on the motives of rape, and that makes me a sicko. Very well thought out argument, said. NOW would be proud.

What's NOW? Anyway, glad to see you followed my example with the "well thought out answer". You fail to see FORCE is a turn on. To a rapist, it's like foreplay.

Even if I'm wrong, can you blame me for strong skepticism? The same people I hear saying that "rape is all about power and violence," in any official capacity are the same people who all but say, "having a 'Y' chromosome makes you a rapist." Those who don't say it in an official capacity ususally heard it from one of these people. At least that's what I've seen.

Who has said this here?

 

[Said1]

Anyway, the stalking and breaking an entering bit is, once again, RARE.

Again, when did this become rare?

 

[Powerman]

but you're still being quite hostile and you've still failed to prevent any sources, just what you percieve as "well known fact."
--------------------------
And your sources are a few people you allegedly talked to in Arkansas? You still haven't told me why your physics friend likes to mess with you in the other thread either.

 

[Bonnie]

Said1 "

well thought out answer". You fail to see FORCE is a turn on. To a rapist, it's like foreplay.

BINGO! And Im not a feminist but it is what it is and studies prove this again and again.

 

[Said1]

but you're still being quite hostile and you've still failed to prevent any sources, just what you percieve as "well known fact."
--------------------------.

Shit, I missed that one.

 

[Gabriella84]

Gunny and Shattered, you are both DEAD ON! As are Bonnie and Said.
And the reason why the porn addiction relates to rape is that some uninformed people believe reading porn leads to rape and sexual abuse. Which is FAR from truth.

Rape is about men hating women and wanting to exact power over them. If you listen to rapists interviewed it's not about hornyness it's about control. True some men have a higher libido than others however they don't rape because of that. If you want to say that some rapists who hate women and also have a high libido that would be correct.

Why is this so difficult to understand?
If it was all about orgasm and sexual satisfaction, a guy can masturbate all he wants. He can find a prostitute.
Porn and rape are only related in that both groups feel inadequate.

Shattered, thanks for posting those rape profiles. I have them in a textbook, but couldn't find them online.

 

[Said1]

Said1 "


BINGO! And Im not a feminist but it is what it is and studies prove this again and again.

He said it himself, saved me from linking a source. He just can't make the connection.

 

[Shattered]

Aww, hell.

 

[Annie]

I'm lost. Right now it sounds like Said1 is saying rape is NOT about force. I doubt that is her take. So for now, I'm bowing out.

 

[Said1]

I'm lost. Right now it sounds like Said1 is saying rape is NOT about force. I doubt that is her take. So for now, I'm bowing out.

Where did I say that?

 

[Hobbit]

This has gotten too convoluted. I still think most rapes are about the end result of achieving orgasm. I'm also curious as to how a guy rapes somebody without even getting it up. However, this is going nowhere. No matter how wrong I supposedly am, nobody has yet refuted me with anything but stating 'facts' without backup, and assuming that they're right without giving me a reason to believe them, so I feel no reason to change my mind. I also find it infantile to get so worked up over a typo. That being the case, I'm going with one of my dad's favorites: "It's better to lose an argument than a friend." That being said, you're right. I'm out. See ya in another thread.

 

[Powerman]

This has gotten too convoluted. I still think most rapes are about the end result of achieving orgasm.

That actually sounds like a good endorsement for porn if you ask me. Stay home and masturbate to internet porn instead of raping people. That's what I do.

 

[Gunny]

This has gotten too convoluted. I still think most rapes are about the end result of achieving orgasm. I'm also curious as to how a guy rapes somebody without even getting it up. However, this is going nowhere. No matter how wrong I supposedly am, nobody has yet refuted me with anything but stating 'facts' without backup, and assuming that they're right without giving me a reason to believe them, so I feel no reason to change my mind. I also find it infantile to get so worked up over a typo. That being the case, I'm going with one of my dad's favorites: "It's better to lose an argument than a friend." That being said, you're right. I'm out. See ya in another thread.

Ever hear about women who are sexually abused with knives, sticks, etc? Same crime, symbolic penis.

All you have to do is type "reason for rape" into google and your argument will be refuted by pages of data.

 

[Annie]

This has gotten too convoluted. I still think most rapes are about the end result of achieving orgasm.

I DISAGREE, MOST RAPE, ALL RAPES ARE ABOUT POWER. BE IT A FEMALE SENIOR TO YOUNGER MALE OR ANY ADULT MALE WITH FEMALE.

I'm also curious as to how a guy rapes somebody without even getting it up. However, this is going nowhere. No matter how wrong I supposedly am, nobody has yet refuted me with anything but stating 'facts' without backup, and assuming that they're right without giving me a reason to believe them, so I feel no reason to change my mind. I also find it infantile to get so worked up over a typo. That being the case, I'm going with one of my dad's favorites: "It's better to lose an argument than a friend." That being said, you're right. I'm out. See ya in another thread.