European Terror Alert Levels

Discussion in 'Humor' started by manu1959, Aug 29, 2006.

  1. manu1959

    manu1959 Left Coast Isolationist

    Oct 28, 2004
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    The following update on terror preparedness in Europe was just released.

    The British are feeling the pinch in relation to recent bombings and
    have raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon,
    though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even
    "A Bit Cross." Londoners have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in
    1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

    Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to a "Bloody
    Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning
    level was during the great fire of 1666.

    Also, the French government announced yesterday that it has raised its
    terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in
    France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate." The rise was precipitated by a
    recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively
    paralyzing the country's military capability.

    It's not only the English and French that are on a heightened level of
    alert. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and
    Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain:
    "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides."

    The Germans also increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance"
    to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher
    levels: "Invade a Neighbor" and "Lose."

    Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only
    threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

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