Ethics: Compulsive liars

[AllieBaba]

Low self-esteem: This is a hallmark of most people with a compulsive lying disorder. Deep-seated feelings of inferiority drive such a person to fabricate a persona that makes them feel more worthy.
Other negative personality traits: Compulsive lying is often a secondary impulse related to other personality disorders. Watch for narcissistic and/or manipulative behavior. Inappropriate emotions and impulsive reactions to situations can be another tip off that something is not quite right.
Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD): People suffering from ADHD also demonstrate impulsive behavior, and it's possible for this to escalate into uncontrollable lying if not kept in check.
Addictions: People with addictions to gambling, alcohol, drugs or other activities also are much more likely to lie compulsively.
Bipolar Disorder: Sufferers of a bipolar disorder seesaw through periods of depression and mania. Depression is usually accompanied by low self-esteem and feeling like life is dreadful. Mania is the complete opposite, and a person feels like life is grand and nothing can get in the way. Impulsive behavior is common during this period, and it becomes easier to tell a lie than face reality.
Inability to face reality: Even when confronted with the cold facts, a true compulsive liar will never admit the truth. Attempts to make the person do so will result in further lying and perhaps even emotional outbursts designed to deflect attention from the lying.
Symptoms of Compulsive Liars - LoveToKnow Recovery

Sky, thy name art LIAR.

 

[AllieBaba]

I have compassion for everybody, Sky. I've worked with sex offenders, murderers, the damaged and the hopeless. I have compassion for you.

But I will still call you on lying. It's not a good trait. Nor will I ever condone most of the things you advocate here - namely abortion, bigotry and oppression. You can engage in all the histrionics you like. My compassion does not lead me to enable you r anyone else that engages in harmful practices and ideology. Compassion is not interchangeable with enabling.

 

[California Girl]

Since I actually quite like both of you (despite what Sky thinks), I hope you two can make some kind of peace. It's a message board.... we shouldn't take dramas and conflicts too seriously. At least, I never do. I can bitch slap a mate in one thread, and laugh about it on PM.

As Mal would say.... Peace.

 

[AllieBaba]

And Sky you haven't hurt me at all. I resent anyone who will attack others, then claim victimhood, as you so often do. I resent it because it clouds the waters for TRUE victims. People who are really are being targeted, hurt, killed, oppressed. Your false cries of "I'm a victim! Look at me! I can make these proclamations and claim asylum based upon my victimhood!" disgust me because I work with real victims. Such behavior is exploitive and manipulative, and the people being manipulated and exploited include people who are TRUE victims.

 

[Montrovant]

Since I actually quite like both of you (despite what Sky thinks), I hope you two can make some kind of peace. It's a message board.... we shouldn't take dramas and conflicts too seriously. At least, I never do. I can bitch slap a mate in one thread, and laugh about it on PM.

As Mal would say.... Peace.

I have to spread rep around or I'd have given you some for this.

 

[AllieBaba]

I do not advocate abortion, oppression or bigotry, nor do I lie. I have some nuances to my views and you are a literalist.

You think if I'm against re-criminalization of abortion that I advocate abortion. I don't. I'm against abortion.

You think if I find some Christians to be bigoted toward gays that I hate you all. I don't. I hate bigotry, even when I find it in myself. I have some issues with some in the RCC and with some Christians from my life experience. I have been honest about that. I haven't lied.

I know you think that if I oppose Churches continuing to hold tax exempt status when they preach politics from the pulpit and politically organize in their churches, you think that's me being oppressive to Christians.

You are welcome to think whatever you like. I'm sad that we aren't friends and that you seem to hold a permanent grudge against me.

sky

We aren't friends because you're a liar, Sky.

And this post...lol...back to the beginning we go. Yes, you are bigoted. Yes you do advocate for abortion. And yes, you do promote oppression.

Of course you think if you justify it, those definitions can't possibly apply to YOU...but you're wrong.

 

[bodecea]

From what I've seen, some Christian sects and some Christians have no problem with lying....pretty much every pro-Prop H8 commercial paid for by Christian $$ were lies...proven lies.

So much for their "Thou Shall Not Bear False Witness".

 

[AllieBaba]

We aren't talking about religion, we're talking about compulsive liars. If you want to show evidence of a particular person who compulsively lies, and illustrate that, great. Otherwise...
red herring.

And Sky, that wasn't an olive branch.

 

[bodecea]

We aren't talking about religion, we're talking about compulsive liars. If you want to show evidence of a particular person who compulsively lies, and illustrate that, great. Otherwise...
red herring.

And Sky, that wasn't an olive branch.

Can't really see you giving anyone an olive branch. That would be....well, never mind.

 

[AllieBaba]

No, she said she gave me one. Of course you missed it, it doesn't exist. Another lie.

 

[bodecea]

No, she said she gave me one. Of course you missed it, it doesn't exist. Another lie.

Something you want to say to make yourself feel more like the wronged party, I'm sure.

 

[AllieBaba]

Oh heavens no.

That's Sky's role. I would never dream of usurping it.

 

[emilynghiem]

I have compassion for everybody, Sky. I've worked with sex offenders, murderers, the damaged and the hopeless. I have compassion for you.

But I will still call you on lying. It's not a good trait. Nor will I ever condone most of the things you advocate here - namely abortion, bigotry and oppression. You can engage in all the histrionics you like. My compassion does not lead me to enable you r anyone else that engages in harmful practices and ideology. Compassion is not interchangeable with enabling.

Hi AllieBaba: Thanks to you and also Sky for giving some more background on here.
I believe Sky made it clear she has been through recovery steps from PTSD. She is not going to be perfect in how she says things to people. Many things can be mistaken, and you can both be frustrated and get very different impressions of people. I'm sure if you met in person you would probably get a different impression, to see each other in context.

As for your posts
1. First to be consumed with whether someone else is a compulsive liar is not going to change that person. Only Sky can change herself. If she doesn't receive correction from you, she will get help from someone else, usually someone she is helping in return at the same time. Not everyone has that relation with just anyone else. So if you and she do not help each other to grow and change, there is nothing wrong with that. You will both find other ways or other people. That doesn't mean denial just because you don't inspire each other in that way!

Allie as long as you are honest as you can be, and YOU don't do the things that upset you so much about Sky, then you are doing your part! It is enough to work on yourself, to be the best you can be, that is a fulltime job. That is wonderful and admirable that you care to correct faults you see in your neighbor that you know can be improved. Focus on yourself and that is all that can be expected of you. I thank you for your input, and I am interested in your insights and contributions. I'm sure Sky does too, but somehow she cannot express this to you in a way you feel she is honestly listening. Sorry for this.

The internet is not perfect, neither is she, neither are you or I. We can all give or get the wrong impression on here, and I believe that must have something to do with why this is still going on and not resolved. You both sound like caring compassionate people. If Sky is FU then let her work on that herself. She would have to resolve her issues to be in the field of work she is in. Every interaction is like group therapy. She will get help as she gives it. Don't worry. If she has lies or biases, those will have to be fixed along her path.

2. As for pro-choice being pro-abortion, we can talk about that more. That is an interesting point, same as pro-life being seen as anti-choice. That kind of bias does need to be resolved in order to work together to prevent abortion.

I am also pro-choice in terms of constitutional legislation, and for the choice of the death penalty. But I am against abortions and executions, and believe in preventing them altogether. I just believe this can best be achieved under pro-choice approaches, and not necessarily banning abortions or executions, but avoiding legislative competition over religious views. I would rather people on both sides work together to prevent abortions, unwanted sex/pregnancy, and prevent capital crime to stop capital punishment at all.

So just because I am pro choice does not mean I am for abortion.

I just ask pro-life people, who absolutely believe abortion is wrong and would NEVER do anything to allow abortion, to see that their views are not forced by law -- prochoice laws do NOT influence you to condone abortion. So everyone should have the same freedom to come to this same conclusion and belief without force of law, as you believe against abortion without laws forcing you to! You believe and practice prolife by free will.
So I ask the same consideration of other people to get there by free will not force of law.

My boyfriend says something similar, he says he is anti-abortion but pro-choice both.

The only difference with prolife people, is that they are so against abortion they are willing to make it against the law to make that statement. That is similar to anti-gun people who are so against or so afraid of abuses of guns to kill they are willing to ban guns to send that message. As individuals, we are free to express our beliefs and practice what we believe. But for government officials under the Constitution, the state is supposed to respect religious freedom equally for all people, and thus any laws that invoke personal beliefs should be passed by consensus to make sure no bias is imposed unconstitutionally.
The best way I know to be fair to both prochoice and prolife positions is to support laws that reflect a consensus of both, of all parties affected, and work together to prevent the causes of abortion without the force of law unless we all agree how those are written.

I believe this would also save resources for more effective counseling, education, and health care to prevent relationships abuse, rape, unwanted pregnancy and abortion, instead of wasting valuable resources fighting politically and legally over written laws.
Cooperation and mutual respect for each other's views is legally necessary under the Constitution and the Code of Ethics calling for more efficient and economical solutions:
ethics-commission.net

Allie if you would like to discuss this more, I think this is important and beneficial than worrying about Sky's problems. She will take care of those herself. But these other issues, this will take EVERYONE I know to work this out in order to resolve these conflicts.

I encourage you to focus where you can do the most good and have greatest impact.
Take care and I hope you feel better soon about Sky.
She sounds like she has been through a lot, and has a long journey ahead.
You have your own journey, that will require your full attention and effort.
If Sky does not help you with that, to improve yourself, then why focus on her?

Your purpose in life is more important.
You are more valuable than picking on differences with Sky that wil resolve themsleves.

Yours truly,
Emily

 

[SmarterThanHick]

maturity: making an unsubstantiated thread and yelling "liar liar pants on fire" while giving zero supporting evidence while desperately hoping someone believes you.

need i bring up ad hominem?

 

[amrchaos]

So tell me--what has Sky lied about?

Of course this opening old wounds, but if we are going to have drama about someone that regularly,at least let me instigate it!!

 

[AllieBaba]

She causes the drama herself. When it dies down, she'll stir it up again. I just encourage you to read through her crap.

 

[SmarterThanHick]

She causes the drama herself. When it dies down, she'll stir it up again. I just encourage you to read through her crap.

maturity: making an unsubstantiated thread and yelling "liar liar pants on fire" while giving zero supporting evidence while desperately hoping someone believes you.

need i bring up ad hominem?

Perhaps you should try specific examples instead of vague crap flinging?