Enduring the death of a Child

[Mrs. M.]

Neil Heslin, father of 6-year-old Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting victim Jesse Lewis, wipes tears as he testifies during a hearing before the Senate Judiciary Committee February 27, 2013 on Capitol Hill in Washington, DC. Alex Wong/Getty Images

A picture is worth a thousand words and this one is heart breaking. A father grieving over the loss of his child. What could be more painful than the loss of your own child? I cannot imagine it yet many have experienced such a tragedy in their lives and have gone on to comfort others who have had to endure the loss of their own children.

The story of Karina Vetrano deeply touched my heart because I could see the heartache of both parents and the different coping mechanisms each parent used to deal with that pain. No two people grieve the same way. Their daughter was murdered six months ago but the pain is not six months old. The pain is as if it happened yesterday. You can hear it in their voices and see it on their faces. They are enduring the death of a child. Their only child.

It is natural for people to pour out their love and sympathy upon that neighbor or loved one who has lost a child but what happens six months later? A year later?

It is important to understand the needs of bereaved parents so that the people who know and love them can meet them at that need and not blindly assume that time has erased the pain of their loss. It is important for bereaved parents to understand that their greatest comforter, counselor, friend in the midst of their great trial is Jesus Christ.

Jean Burns found that out when she lost her own daughter, Anna, in a tragic accident. While looking through her daughter's bible one day she found that her daughter had underlined the scripture and wrote with her own hand on the bottom of the page, "My times are in YOUR hands!" The unexpected discovery of this underlined, hand written scripture by her daughter before her death brought great comfort to her mother. Her mother decided to share it with an author who wrote about her story entitled,When a Parent loses a child. Here is a picture of her daughter's bible:

Anna’s Bible

The photo of the Bible page above is from Anna’s Bible.

When Traci found Anna’s note “My times are in your hands!” written in her Bible, a wave of comfort flooded over her.

We never know how God is working.

Anna didn’t even know that God was already preparing her to come home.

And she didn’t know the little note she wrote in her Bible would give her family such great peace.

But God knew it all.

Whatever you’re facing today, God knows it all, He cares, and He’s working out His good and kind will for your life.

Our times, our lives, and our future are in His loving hands.
When A Parent Loses A Child, It's Common to Ask "Why?" (by Traci Burns, A Mother Who Knows) - Jean Wilund

Reading the Scriptures is a source of comfort, strength and healing whether we discover a hand written note by our loved ones left behind or not. The greatest message any grieving parent can hear is the message Jesus Christ has for them found within the Holy Bible. God's love for us dwarfs the love offered by those with the best of intentions. For those who have suffered the loss of a child, pray for God's love to comfort them.

Only God can provide the comfort needed when parents are enduring the death of a child.

The LORD is nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit.

 

[Weatherman2020]

Met a guy once who was a church leader who lost his wife and 12 year old daughter in an accident, he was the only one who survived. He gave up on God. To make a long story short, a series of events over the next year led him to tell God to either give him a sign or get lost. That afternoon a highway patrolman knocked on his door and said while cleaning under the seat of his patrol car he found a Bible with his name and address in it. It was from the day of the accident.

 

[The Irish Ram]

Losing a child has to be the most painful thing on earth. I can't fathom the loss without taking solace in the fact that our heavenly Father has them safe and sound in his home. And that we will be united for eternity with the loved ones we have lost. If you are in Christ, your last breath here is your first breath in Paradise.

 

[heil hitler]

Couldn't he have brought a smaller photo..or at least removed that gold frame?

 

[12icer]

Couldn't he have brought a smaller photo..or at least removed that gold frame?

Your number four post is a real winner, why not go visit with your namesake. You have a right to speak your opinion, but we can always put everything you post on the ignore list. I bet all of your whopping 33 posts are of the same caliber. I do know the feeling, and it is a thing that loses the sting, but not the tears over the 32 years since mine.

 

[heil hitler]

Couldn't he have brought a smaller photo..or at least removed that gold frame?

Your number four post is a real winner, why not go visit with your namesake. You have a right to speak your opinion, but we can always put everything you post on the ignore list. I bet all of your whopping 33 posts are of the same caliber. I do know the feeling, and it is a thing that loses the sting, but not the tears over the 32 years since mine.

What? A guy cant make an observation without people getting emotional. It was an observation. I wasn't insulting the victim or their family. So, if I'm not blowing snot bubbles on the other end of the computer screen I'm Satan? Wow...sensitive aren't we?

 

[The Irish Ram]

I wish there was some thing that could remove the pain of that crushing a loss. There are no words.
To the departed, death is gain. To those who remain though, it is loss for them. The touch, the smell, the sound of laughter are so hard to yearn for day after day til that one sweet day when they come to help you cross over to the Promised Land and the reunion lasts forever. Until then, I imagine it is the first thing that hits you upon awakening in the morning, and the last thought you have at night. And then there are the dreams. It is earth shattering. There are 2 cases I am reminded of, because God said that mourning may last the night, but that he would restore joy in the morning.

King David begged and cried and begged and cried and pleaded with God not to take his infant child. The child was taken. And David shed no more tears. His court thought it odd. David knew that he would be united with that child when it was time. Because of that, he made God's decision well with his soul. Weeping may lodge for the night, but shouts of joy will come in the morning.

And then there is this dear man:
It Is Well with My Soul - Wikipedia

When you are hit with a sudden wave of grief, thank God for taking such good care of the one you've lost and add to that a moment of joy you spent with your loved one, so that the misery is at least countered.
It's Satan that wants you to grieve. God's got your back.

 

[Mrs. M.]

Couldn't he have brought a smaller photo..or at least removed that gold frame?

Your number four post is a real winner, why not go visit with your namesake. You have a right to speak your opinion, but we can always put everything you post on the ignore list. I bet all of your whopping 33 posts are of the same caliber. I do know the feeling, and it is a thing that loses the sting, but not the tears over the 32 years since mine.

Your post deeply touched my heart.
I will be holding you up to God in my prayers.

 

[Mrs. M.]

I wish there was some thing that could remove the pain of that crushing a loss. There are no words.
To the departed, death is gain. To those who remain though, it is loss for them. The touch, the smell, the sound of laughter are so hard to yearn for day after day til that one sweet day when they come to help you cross over to the Promised Land and the reunion lasts forever. Until then, I imagine it is the first thing that hits you upon awakening in the morning, and the last thought you have at night. And then there are the dreams. It is earth shattering. There are 2 cases I am reminded of, because God said that mourning may last the night, but that he would restore joy in the morning.

King David begged and cried and begged and cried and pleaded with God not to take his infant child. The child was taken. And David shed no more tears. His court thought it odd. David knew that he would be united with that child when it was time. Because of that, he made God's decision well with his soul. Weeping may lodge for the night, but shouts of joy will come in the morning.

And then there is this dear man:
It Is Well with My Soul - Wikipedia

When you are hit with a sudden wave of grief, thank God for taking such good care of the one you've lost and add to that a moment of joy you spent with your loved one, so that the misery is at least countered.
It's Satan that wants you to grieve. God's got your back.

What a beautiful comforting word, Irish Ram, for someone who truly needs to hear that there is something to look forward to. There is a reunion day coming and what a day that shall be. God bless you.

 

[12icer]

It is the ONLY way to deal with it as God has held my hand every day of my life. I have always been a thrill seeker, and he has pulled me out of the fire and death many times. I broke my neck in a car accident that actually left my head disconnected except for my spinal cord, got up walked around and still have every function I always had. I fell and ripped a large hole in my side should have spilled my guts. That is just two there are more. I found a dollar three days in a row, asked Lord what do you want me to do with this, and knew instantly, I did what I knew and it was something needed that I had no idea of. I have also not done some things, but I have found to not do so doesn't cause me any problem, but I may not be helping the person he wanted to receive his gift. You can be flippant ask some stupid unrelated question or do as you please, you are free to think and believe as you wish when you are asked But I feel as if there is no doubt, I say I do not believe, I know because I have been.

 

[Mrs. M.]

It is the ONLY way to deal with it as God has held my hand every day of my life. I have always been a thrill seeker, and he has pulled me out of the fire and death many times. I broke my neck in a car accident that actually left my head disconnected except for my spinal cord, got up walked around and still have every function I always had. I fell and ripped a large hole in my side should have spilled my guts. That is just two there are more. I found a dollar three days in a row, asked Lord what do you want me to do with this, and knew instantly, I did what I knew and it was something needed that I had no idea of. I have also not done some things, but I have found to not do so doesn't cause me any problem, but I may not be helping the person he wanted to receive his gift. You can be flippant ask some stupid unrelated question or do as you please, you are free to think and believe as you wish when you are asked But I feel as if there is no doubt, I say I do not believe, I know because I have been.

God loves you so much, Icer. He has held your hand every day of your life because He cares deeply about you. You are precious in his sight. Your honesty and willingness to share what you've been through is going to help someone else reading this. I cannot see how it wouldn't. It has ministered to me. Thank you.