- Banned
- #1
"How about those Republican presidential candidates. Newt Gingrich is behind in delegates. But he's leading in chins." David Letterman
"So Newt Gingrich is looking for a vice presidential running mate. Being Newt's VP is like being a Kardashian husband. It's going to be over quickly." David Letterman
"March Madness goes from 64 teams to 32 to 16 to 8 to 4 to 2 and then 1. It's how Rush Limbaugh loses sponsors." David Letterman
"Rick Santorum has been on a roll lately. CNN came up with a clever word for this Santorumentum. Are they serious? It sounds like something you put under your nose or the name of a drug." Jimmy Kimmel
"Bothered by irregularity? Constipation? Santorumentum the twice-a-day medication, not covered by Obamacare. Consult Jesus before taking any medication." Jimmy Kimmel
"Rick Santorum won Alabama and Mississippi, and Mitt Romney won Hawaii and American Samoa. Here's a little mnemonic device to help you remember. Places you can get to in a Winnebago, go to Santorum. Places that require a jet or a yacht, go to Romney. Romney, of course, always does well with islands, that's where his money lives." Jon Stewart
"Newt Gingrich has promised to cut the price of gas to $2.50 a gallon. It's not catching on with voters. How bad a candidate are you that people are willing to pay higher gas prices just to keep you out of office?" Jay Leno
"Not a good week for Rush Limbaugh either. His approval rating has dropped 9 percent in the last month to an all-time low of 41 percent. In fact, if this keeps up, the White House said they may have to fish out bin Laden and shoot him all over again." Jay Leno
"So Newt Gingrich is looking for a vice presidential running mate. Being Newt's VP is like being a Kardashian husband. It's going to be over quickly." David Letterman
"March Madness goes from 64 teams to 32 to 16 to 8 to 4 to 2 and then 1. It's how Rush Limbaugh loses sponsors." David Letterman
"Rick Santorum has been on a roll lately. CNN came up with a clever word for this Santorumentum. Are they serious? It sounds like something you put under your nose or the name of a drug." Jimmy Kimmel
"Bothered by irregularity? Constipation? Santorumentum the twice-a-day medication, not covered by Obamacare. Consult Jesus before taking any medication." Jimmy Kimmel
"Rick Santorum won Alabama and Mississippi, and Mitt Romney won Hawaii and American Samoa. Here's a little mnemonic device to help you remember. Places you can get to in a Winnebago, go to Santorum. Places that require a jet or a yacht, go to Romney. Romney, of course, always does well with islands, that's where his money lives." Jon Stewart
"Newt Gingrich has promised to cut the price of gas to $2.50 a gallon. It's not catching on with voters. How bad a candidate are you that people are willing to pay higher gas prices just to keep you out of office?" Jay Leno
"Not a good week for Rush Limbaugh either. His approval rating has dropped 9 percent in the last month to an all-time low of 41 percent. In fact, if this keeps up, the White House said they may have to fish out bin Laden and shoot him all over again." Jay Leno
