"Economic stimulus" explained!

Discussion in 'Politics' started by get_involved, Sep 11, 2011.

  1. get_involved
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    get_involved Gold Member

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    Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic
    Stimulus' payment.

    This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by
    using a Q & A format:


    Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

    A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

    Q. Where will the government get this money ?

    A. From taxpayers.

    Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ?

    A. Only a smidgen of it.


    Q. What is the purpose of this payment ?

    A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.


    Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

    A. Shut up.


    Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy by
    spending your stimulus check wisely:

    * If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will go to China or Sri Lanka ..

    * If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs.

    * If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China .

    * If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,
    Honduras and Guatemala ..

    * If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .

    * If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..

    * If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

    Instead, keep the money in America by:

    1) Spending it at yard sales, or

    2) Going to ball games, or

    3) Spending it on prostitutes, or

    4) Beer or

    5) Tattoos.

    (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

    Conclusion:

    Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard
    sale and drink beer all day !


    No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.
     
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  2. francoHFW
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    francoHFW Platinum Member

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    Actually, thanks to the first stimulus we still have great US cars- we still have computer stuff. But thanks for the depression and ruining the non-rich for 30 years....

    Ford's Rule: "Pay the workers as much as you can, to stimulate demand"...Pubs and Voodoo: "Screw em all" LOL!
     
  3. The Rabbi
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    The Rabbi Diamond Member

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    Can I have what you're smoking?
     
  4. Caroljo
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    Caroljo Gold Member

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    Lol!! I've got to write this down....soooo funny! But sadly true!!
     
  5. FA_Q2
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    FA_Q2 Gold Member

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    Truth and one of the main reasons that stimulus spending is doing NOTHING. The dems will have none of it though, they will simply insist that we saved millions of jobs even though we actually lost jobs...
     
  6. get_involved
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    get_involved Gold Member

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    Thanks for the laugh.

    [​IMG]
     
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  7. Foxfyre
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    Foxfyre Eternal optimist Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    :) It has been said that all real humor has a grain of truth at its center.

    But unfortunately, however amusing, the joke is on us.

    The last stimulus that will cost well over a trillion dollars after the increased debt is services was supposed to keep unemployment at no higher than 8%, was supposed to save and create millions of jobs that were shovel ready to repair roads and other infrastructure, renovate dilapidated schools, weatherize homes, and regeneate American manufacturing. That was the promise made to us. It would work!!!!

    What did we get?

    Payoffs to croniess, voting consttuencies, and big contributors, 100,000 new federal and state government jobs while the private sector was losing more than 8 million jobs, higher taxes, official unemployment stuck at between 9 and 10 percent--the actual rate at something close to 20%. . . .

    . . . . government ownership of banks and auto companies, a housing market that has not been so depressed since the Great Depression and more bank failures and foreclosures looming, the soaring of the national debt to $14+ trillion with spending continuing unabated, trillion dollar deficits as far as the eye can see with promised spending cuts not even on the drawing board yet resulting in a downgrade of the country's stellar AAA credit rating which will further exacerbate the debt. . . .

    and a jobs czar whose corporation has not paid any U.S. taxes in three years and that continues to ship thousands of U.S. jobs overseas. If they actually exist--nobody has identified where they are--the number of jobs claimed saved by the government cost us about $225,000 each. How many of you earn $225,000? And of the government monies distributed? Some of it went to non existent congressional districts in a couple of dozen states. God only knows who pocketed that money.

    So okay. The American people were royally had.

    But here comes the funny part:

    Last Thursday night President Obama wants Congress to pass RIGHT AWAY another almost $500 billion in spending to rebuild infrastructure, renovate schools, and put people back to work.

    And they'll really do it this time too.

    Uh huh.
     
    Last edited: Sep 11, 2011
  8. WatertheTree
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    WatertheTree Senior Member

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    And it worked to. Henry Ford was quite proud of the fact that his workers could afford to buy the product they made/sold/maintained. He faught the Unions Tooth and Nail to, even having his own goon squad in Detriot to thump up union reps. Suddenly though as business got better and profits increased he embraced the Unions and worked with them, that was persistant untill his death.

    Used to be a man could earn a good living in this country, and a days work got a days pay. Now though a days work gets you just enough to make it to work the next day.

    Capitol gets rewarded though. No capitol, your just SOL.
     
  9. Moonglow
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    Moonglow Diamond Member

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    Bush gave us two stimulus payments, did they fail also?
     
  10. The Rabbi
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    The Rabbi Diamond Member

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    That was done to get Democratic support and yes, they did fail.
    Every measure that is temporary and targeted fails. Obama hasn't figured this one out yet.
     

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