- Sep 22, 2013
- 4,956
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Why are Americans so fascinated by high school?
This one references my high school (Eastern Regional in New Jersey) and is inspired by Varsity Blues.
It's in honor of south Jersey sports-fanfare as Super Bowl 52 approaches (and most south Jersey residents cheer for the underdog Philadelphia Eagles --- fans such as myself!).
Cheers,
====
Eastern Regional High School (Voorhees, New Jersey, USA) was a well-organized and well-designed public high school featuring an ethnically-diverse student body which boasted many success-stories, a few celebrities (e.g., Kelly Ripa), and a handsome Ivy League admissions statistics. I myself went to Eastern and was admitted into Dartmouth College (Hanover, New Hampshire) in 1996. Eastern sports-teams featured the mascot 'the Vikings.' The Eastern Vikings were successful in multiple (varied) sports such as cross-country and football, but its best program was the girls' field hockey program! This was a 'typical' American high school (probably one Carrie White attended).
Eastern's men's baseball team was doing particularly and surprisingly well one season, drawing reporters and journalists interested in south Jersey high school sports fanfare/spirit during the triumphant run of the NFL team the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles had reached the NFC Championship game a whopping 6 times since 2000 and two Super Bowls, and the Eastern men's baseball team was shining when the Eagles reached Super Bowl 52. The reporters of the Courier Post covered a baseball game between the Eastern Vikings and the Highland High School Tartans (a close rival!). The reporters wrote, "This smalltown baseball glory reflects the general south Jersey spirit of sports fanfare in this time of the Eagles --- arguably the Underdog Team of the New Millennium." The Vikings baseball squad were incidentally complete Eagles fans(!).
Unfortunately, Eastern's rival school (Highland) had a big racism-problem which was discussed in the Courier Post. Apparently, the Tartans had a 'rich history' of catering to local Ku Klux Klan (KKK) rallies headed by the Mid-Atlantic chapter of the racism-oriented American organization. Highland was to host a 'secret' KKK rally on their baseball field after the Vikings-Tartans game which was closed off to all reporters/press. However, one Vikings baseball player stayed after the game and realized the KKK rally was secretly beginning. This Viking (Ted Dennis) decided to take some photos with his mobile phone and give them (anonymously of course!) to the Courier Post.
When the #1 nation-ranked Eastern Vikings girls' field-hockey team held their scheduled conference game against the Highland Tartans the next weekend, everyone was excited about the general Vikings-Tartans showdown. However, the Courier Post then published Ted Dennis's KKK rally photos from the Tartan home-field and it caused such a stir, that everyone started talking about Vikings girls' field-hockey team as a 'democratic sports-spirit response' to the Highland racism-controversy. The Courier Post inadvertently became the center of a 'ruckus' about south Jersey political and school spirit as Super Bowl 52 approached. Many residents of south Jersey were of course huge Eagles fans, so the Vikings girls' field-hockey achievements became a sudden new 'discourse spotlight-grabber.' Even Viking alumni started sending in editorials into the Courier Post --- e.g., "The Philadelphia Eagles (NFL) are more ethnically-diverse than the New England Patriots!"
A huge demonic war broke-out and Michael (archangel of God) was sent down to maintain sanity. As Super Bowl 52 approached, fanfare in south Jersey reached a climax, as the Eagles looked to avenge their loss to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl 52. Satan (the Devil) wanted to use the Highland KKK rally controversy published in the Courier Post to advertise the incendiary notion that sports in the age of media was rather...child-like! A comic book writer working for Marvel Comics decided to write up this whole 'adventure-scenario' (and the archangel Michael decided to be his secret-hidden 'counsellor,' whispering ideas about the Vikings and Tartans into the writer's head!). The comic book was called The South Jersey Demonology: Avengers Unfold.
U.S. President Donald Trump appointed his special 'field-operative' known simply as 'Snake-Eyes' to investigate and control. Snake-Eyes quickly quelled any potential school riot between Eastern and Highland and then reached out to Eastern Eco-Activism Club (EEAC) to create a new initiative designed to combine sports fanfare with environmentalism consciousness. The EEAC gained national attention soon (thanks again to the Courier Post's excellent journalism), and soon the environmentalism activism group the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation wanted in on the action! President Trump congratulated Snake-Eyes for creating wonderful 'sports-fanfare wisdom' as Super Bowl 52 approached. Snake-Eyes only feared that the New England Patriots (the Super Bowl Team of the New Millennium --- trying to win their whopping 6th Vince Lombardi trophy since 2000!) would simply and devastatingly destroy the gritty-scrappy Philadelphia Eagles. Snake-Eyes decided to pray...
Well, the Eagles upset the Patriots in Super Bowl 52 20-17, and Snake-Eyes celebrated with a good amount of whiskey and two very nice Cuban cigars gifted to him by President Trump. No one realized that Snake-Eyes was actually a Vikings alumni (Class of 1995), and he prayed to Jesus and the archangel Michael, hoping that the Eagles would win another Super Bowl and bring more south Jersey high school sports-spirit during the regular NFL season. After all, why should competitive sports in America be only cutthroat or scandalous (e.g., sabotage, steroids, etc.)? Somehow, in all this media-culture madness, Eastern High School (the proud Vikings) emerges as an 'American Beauty.' God bless high school!
====
This one references my high school (Eastern Regional in New Jersey) and is inspired by Varsity Blues.
It's in honor of south Jersey sports-fanfare as Super Bowl 52 approaches (and most south Jersey residents cheer for the underdog Philadelphia Eagles --- fans such as myself!).
Cheers,
====
Eastern Regional High School (Voorhees, New Jersey, USA) was a well-organized and well-designed public high school featuring an ethnically-diverse student body which boasted many success-stories, a few celebrities (e.g., Kelly Ripa), and a handsome Ivy League admissions statistics. I myself went to Eastern and was admitted into Dartmouth College (Hanover, New Hampshire) in 1996. Eastern sports-teams featured the mascot 'the Vikings.' The Eastern Vikings were successful in multiple (varied) sports such as cross-country and football, but its best program was the girls' field hockey program! This was a 'typical' American high school (probably one Carrie White attended).
Eastern's men's baseball team was doing particularly and surprisingly well one season, drawing reporters and journalists interested in south Jersey high school sports fanfare/spirit during the triumphant run of the NFL team the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles had reached the NFC Championship game a whopping 6 times since 2000 and two Super Bowls, and the Eastern men's baseball team was shining when the Eagles reached Super Bowl 52. The reporters of the Courier Post covered a baseball game between the Eastern Vikings and the Highland High School Tartans (a close rival!). The reporters wrote, "This smalltown baseball glory reflects the general south Jersey spirit of sports fanfare in this time of the Eagles --- arguably the Underdog Team of the New Millennium." The Vikings baseball squad were incidentally complete Eagles fans(!).
Unfortunately, Eastern's rival school (Highland) had a big racism-problem which was discussed in the Courier Post. Apparently, the Tartans had a 'rich history' of catering to local Ku Klux Klan (KKK) rallies headed by the Mid-Atlantic chapter of the racism-oriented American organization. Highland was to host a 'secret' KKK rally on their baseball field after the Vikings-Tartans game which was closed off to all reporters/press. However, one Vikings baseball player stayed after the game and realized the KKK rally was secretly beginning. This Viking (Ted Dennis) decided to take some photos with his mobile phone and give them (anonymously of course!) to the Courier Post.
When the #1 nation-ranked Eastern Vikings girls' field-hockey team held their scheduled conference game against the Highland Tartans the next weekend, everyone was excited about the general Vikings-Tartans showdown. However, the Courier Post then published Ted Dennis's KKK rally photos from the Tartan home-field and it caused such a stir, that everyone started talking about Vikings girls' field-hockey team as a 'democratic sports-spirit response' to the Highland racism-controversy. The Courier Post inadvertently became the center of a 'ruckus' about south Jersey political and school spirit as Super Bowl 52 approached. Many residents of south Jersey were of course huge Eagles fans, so the Vikings girls' field-hockey achievements became a sudden new 'discourse spotlight-grabber.' Even Viking alumni started sending in editorials into the Courier Post --- e.g., "The Philadelphia Eagles (NFL) are more ethnically-diverse than the New England Patriots!"
A huge demonic war broke-out and Michael (archangel of God) was sent down to maintain sanity. As Super Bowl 52 approached, fanfare in south Jersey reached a climax, as the Eagles looked to avenge their loss to the New England Patriots in Super Bowl 52. Satan (the Devil) wanted to use the Highland KKK rally controversy published in the Courier Post to advertise the incendiary notion that sports in the age of media was rather...child-like! A comic book writer working for Marvel Comics decided to write up this whole 'adventure-scenario' (and the archangel Michael decided to be his secret-hidden 'counsellor,' whispering ideas about the Vikings and Tartans into the writer's head!). The comic book was called The South Jersey Demonology: Avengers Unfold.
U.S. President Donald Trump appointed his special 'field-operative' known simply as 'Snake-Eyes' to investigate and control. Snake-Eyes quickly quelled any potential school riot between Eastern and Highland and then reached out to Eastern Eco-Activism Club (EEAC) to create a new initiative designed to combine sports fanfare with environmentalism consciousness. The EEAC gained national attention soon (thanks again to the Courier Post's excellent journalism), and soon the environmentalism activism group the Leonardo DiCaprio Foundation wanted in on the action! President Trump congratulated Snake-Eyes for creating wonderful 'sports-fanfare wisdom' as Super Bowl 52 approached. Snake-Eyes only feared that the New England Patriots (the Super Bowl Team of the New Millennium --- trying to win their whopping 6th Vince Lombardi trophy since 2000!) would simply and devastatingly destroy the gritty-scrappy Philadelphia Eagles. Snake-Eyes decided to pray...
Well, the Eagles upset the Patriots in Super Bowl 52 20-17, and Snake-Eyes celebrated with a good amount of whiskey and two very nice Cuban cigars gifted to him by President Trump. No one realized that Snake-Eyes was actually a Vikings alumni (Class of 1995), and he prayed to Jesus and the archangel Michael, hoping that the Eagles would win another Super Bowl and bring more south Jersey high school sports-spirit during the regular NFL season. After all, why should competitive sports in America be only cutthroat or scandalous (e.g., sabotage, steroids, etc.)? Somehow, in all this media-culture madness, Eastern High School (the proud Vikings) emerges as an 'American Beauty.' God bless high school!
====
