Dumbass Alert: Woman sues store, claims she was attacked by bird

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by -Cp, Apr 14, 2005.

  1. -Cp
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    -Cp Senior Member

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    A Centreville woman claimed in a suit filed Wednesday in Madison County Circuit Court that a bird attacked and seriously injured her while she was shopping at a hardware store in Alton.

    Rhonda Nichols, 40, alleges in the suit that a bird flew into the back of her head while she was at the outside gardening area of the Lowe's Home Center, 1619 Homer Adams Parkway.

    Nichols is seeking damages against the store in excess of $50,000.

    According to the suit, filed by the St. Louis firm of Anderson & Associates, the store "allowed wild birds to enter the Gardening area in which customers travel ... (and) that said wild birds created a dangerous condition."

    Nichols claims the bird caused injuries to her head, brain, neck, muscles, bones, nerves, discs, ligaments, as well leading to the loss of neurological functions and cognitive skills.

    Her attorney, Zane T. Cagle, said "the bird was described to us as being about the size of a robin or pigeon."

    "This was no sparrow," Cagle said.

    The attorney said his client has since returned to work but declined to say where Nichols was employed.

    Nichols could not be reached for comment.

    The suit said the incident occurred "on or about April 15, 2003." Bobbi Rose, an assistant manager at Lowe's, said the store had no record of any human-bird collisions on that date.

    "It's an outside garden area," Rose said. "What are we supposed to do? We have no control of the birds."

    Cagle said the incident was part of a larger problem.

    "These wild birds are an issue in many of these types of stores," he said.



    http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/ne...D188E035AD486256FE3001775FB?OpenDocument#bird
     
  2. dmp
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    dmp Senior Member

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    wow...I can't say whether I'm more pissed at how corrupt a lawyer would have to be to take such a case, or that i didn't think of it first.
     
  3. 5stringJeff
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    5stringJeff Senior Member

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    This happened two years ago and she's just now getting around to suing? If it were really important, shouldn't this have happened much earlier?
     
  4. Jimmyeatworld
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    Jimmyeatworld Silver Member

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    "These wild birds are an issue in many of these types of stores," he said.

    Is it now? This is the first story like this I've heard. It's cases like this that make me wish I'd gone into law and become a judge. It would take me about 5 seconds to make a decision.
     
  5. Avatar4321
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    Avatar4321 Diamond Member Gold Supporting Member

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    It takes time to get information together to file sometimes. that and there are some people who dont show up on their attorney's doorstep till like two years after it happened.
     
  6. Eightball
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    Eightball Senior Member

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    I think she should sue PETA, for allowing this insane bird to freely fly around.

    Actually, isn't the FAA responsible for flying things?

    Maybe the FAA should be sued. Did the bird have proper navigation equipment? Was it equipped with GPS? Was the bird certified to fly in low-altitude air-space.

    Did the lady receive any brain damage from the bird attacking the back of her head? Is she on life support?

    Will she be laughed out of court? Will the 9th Circuit, Federal Court of San Francisco have sympathy for her if she loses her case.

    How much will Lowe's have to spend to defend themselves against this "vamp"?

    If she loses..........will she have to pay Lowe's attorney fees?

    Did authorities immediately frisk the alleged victim and find any concealed human remains, such as; severed fingers, thumbs, or, toes?

    Is this bird on the "endangered species" list?

    Was the alleged attacker caught? If so, did the alleged attacker admit culpability?

    Will a $50,000.00 award really cover "pain and suffering"?


    :funnyface

    No joking folks, but my sister many years ago while walking downtown in San Jose, Ca, had a black bird fly down from a palm tree and attack her from behind. It got tangles in her hair, but did get loose and fly away. It shocked my sister, but that was it.

    Black birds are notorious for protecting their turf when they're nesting, and most likely the palm tree was a nesting site. In fact the bird would swoop down on anyone that walked by that tree.

    Conclusion: If we follow this lady's logic, then my sister would sue the owner of the Palm tree, cause the tree offered a nesting place for the attacker. If the Palm tree was a city tree then the city is culpable, or whoever allowed this tree to grow there.

    When I was a kid, we had a Mockingbird that nested near our backyard. One of the baby Mockingbirds got out of the nest and was wandering around our backyard. A sensitive, animal loving kid, I thought that I'd rescue that baby bird before my two pet cats got it. I caught the little fellow in the corner of the yard, and when I had a gentle, yet firm grasp of him, he started to let out a loud screeching sound. Well, Mom and Pop Mockingbird knew their kid's voice, and immediately starting diving down on me, and making contact with the top of my head with their claws. It didn't hurt, but did surprise me. I was more impressed with the "Cajones" that these little Mockingbirds exhibited, than with personal injury. Anyway, I was running all over the backyard trying to find a place to put the baby bird so that my cats wouldn't get it, and protecting my scalp from two very determined parent birds. I finally put the little guy on a reachable branch of a Walnut tree, and then ran into the house. Mom and Pop Mockingbird settled down, and immediately landed next to their baby. I don't know what happened to the little guy later on. It still might have ended up a meal for a cat, but atleast I did my part as a human caretaker of one of God's creatures at the time.

    Well, as fragile as small birds are, their Creator has endowed them with some big doses of courage when it comes to protecting family.

    I think that's all that happened at Lowe's. The bird probably had a nest somewhere in the nursery area, as birds often inhabit the outdoor/covered nursery areas of Home Depots and Lowe's type stores
    .
     
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  7. Merlin1047
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    Merlin1047 Senior Member

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    Baby, if I were on the jury I'd toss you out on your ass just for having the unmitigated gall to make stupid assertions like the two I highlighted. Did the bird penetrate her skull deeply enough to injure that walnut sized brain of her's? "Cognitive skills"????????? Bwaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahahah

    Piece of crap shyster. If you're going to go for something like this, hell, go ahead and claim she was attacked by a California condor with a wingspread like a 747 jumbo.

    Fifty bucks says she works in the aviary section of PetsMart. (This bet void after 3:20pm CDT and void where prohibited by law)

    No shit, Sherlock. Birds are an issue in most outdoor areas. Maybe we should capture them all, put them on little bird leashes and assign people to walk them.
    Lawyers walk the vultures.
     
  8. Yurt
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    Yurt Gold Member

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    My boss made me go to work. This caused me severe emotional suffering. I now have therapy bills in the hundreds of thousands of dollars for my suffering.

    Sheesh, I hope this lawyer gets fined for frivilous crap!
     
  9. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    LMAO---I bet Alfred Hitchcock is glad to be dead !!!
     

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