Drinking songs....

Mexican country polka at its finest

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrFuMA53pak&feature=related[/ame]
 
I am too drunk to find a performance of this (some sober person please help) but any real drunk (not to be confused with a self rightous "alcoholic") would have to add, The Piano Has Been Drinking. By Tom Waites.

"The piano has been drinking
My necktie's asleep
The combo went back to New York, and left me all alone
The jukebox has to take a leak
Have you noticed that the carpet needs a haircut?
And the spotlight looks just like a prison break
And the telephone's out of cigarettes
As usual the balcony's on the make
And the piano has been drinking, heavily
The piano has been drinking
And he's on the hard stuff tonight

The piano has been drinking
And you can't find your waitress
Even with the Geiger counter
And I guarantee you that she will hate you
From the bottom of her glass
And all of your friends remind you
That you just can't get served without her
The piano has been drinking

The piano has been drinking
And the lightman's blind in one eye
And he can't see out of the other
And the piano-tuner's got a hearing aid
And he showed up with his mother
And the piano has been drinking
Without fear of contradiction I say
The piano has been drinking

Our Father who art in ?
Hallowed by thy glass
Thy kindom come, thy will be done
On Earth as it is in the lounges
Give us this day our daily splash
Forgive us our hangovers
As we forgive all those who continue to hangover against us
And lead us not into temptation
But deliver from evil and someone you must all ride home

Because the piano has been drinking
And he's your friend not mine
Because the piano has been drinking
And he's not my responsibility

The bouncer is this Sumo wrestler
Kinda cream puff casper milk toast
And the owner is just a mental midget
With the I.Q. of a fencepost
I'm going down, hang onto me, I'm going down
Watch me skate across an acre of linoleum
I know I can do it, I'm in total control
And the piano has been drinking
And he's embarassing me
The piano has been drinking, he raided his mini bar

The piano has been drinking
And the bar stools are all on fire
And all the newspapers were just fooling
And the ash-trays have retired
And I've got a feeling that the piano has been drinking
It's just a hunch
The piano has been drinking and he's going to lose his lunch
And the piano has been drinking
Not me, not me, The piano has been drinking not me"
 
This is drinking:

You are driving home from work. So drunk you are not even sure you are off work.

Never mind how you got that drunk at work.

It’s all a crapshoot, but you know you will get there.

Home that is, there is not place like it, or so Dorothy says.

A hoon pulls up with a car full of bored looking girls with too much make up.

You give the girls a look and for the first time in their lives they feel like Grace Kelly.

The man-boy behind the wheel shouts with his moter, confused and abused.

He wants to race. Prove something. Your mental tank is full of gazzzzz.

You race him!And win! In a fucking Hyundai Getz! You win! (Cut the bastard off, kamakazi chicken!)

Next thing you know you have made it to no place, where we are all going in the end, home that is.

It an't pretty, it an't supposed to be. THAT! Is drinking.
 

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