Drafting Guys Over 60

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Zona, Sep 23, 2011.

  1. Zona
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    Zona A guy in ariZONA

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    A friend of mine sent this to me. I honestly dont know if its old but its pretty good.


    I am over 60 and the Armed Forces thinks I'm too old to track down terrorists. You can't be older than 42 to join the military. They've got the whole thing ass-backwards. Instead of sending 18-year olds off to fight, they ought to take us old guys. You shouldn't be able to join a military unit until you're at least 35. For starters, researchers say 18-year-olds think about sex every 10 seconds. Old guys only think about sex a couple of times a day, leaving us more than 28,000 additional seconds per day to concentrate on the enemy.


    Young guys haven't lived long enough to be cranky, and a cranky soldier is a dangerous soldier. 'My back hurts! I can't sleep, I'm tired and hungry.' We are impatient and maybe
    letting us kill some asshole that desperately deserves it will make us feel better and shut us up for awhile. An 18-year-old doesn't even like to get up before 10am. Old guys always get up early to pee, so what the hell. Besides, like I said, I'm tired and can't sleep and since I'm already up, I may as well be up killing some fanatical son-of-a-bitch. If captured we couldn't spill the beans because we'd forget where we put them. In fact, name, rank, and serial number would be a real brainteaser.


    Boot camp would be easier for old guys.. We're used to getting screamed and yelled at and we're used to soft food. We've also
    developed an appreciation for guns. We've been using them for years as an excuse to get out of the house, away from the screaming and yelling. They could lighten up on the obstacle course however... I've been in combat and never saw a single 20-foot wall with rope hanging over the side, nor did I ever do any pushups after completing basic training. Actually, the running part is kind of a waste of energy, too... I've never seen anyone outrun a bullet. An 18-year-old has the whole world ahead of him. He's still learning to shave, to start a conversation with a pretty girl. He still hasn't figured out that a baseball cap has a brim to shade his eyes, not the back of his head. These are all great reasons to keep our kids at home to learn a little more about life before sending them off into harm's way. Let us old guys track down those dirty rotten coward terrorists. The last thing an enemy would want to see is a couple million pissed off old farts with attitudes and automatic weapons, who know that their best years are already behind them.


    HEY!! How about recruiting Women over 50...in menopause!!! You think MEN have attitudes??


    Ohhhhhhhhhhhh my God!!! If nothing else, put them on border patrol. They'll have it secured the first night!


    Send this to all of your senior friends...it's in big type so they can read it.
     
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  2. Sunshine
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    Sunshine Trust the pie. Supporting Member

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    I was going to illustrate this one. But changed my mind. LOL. OMG. Don't ever Google 'fat old men' with your safe search feature off. :eek:
     
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  3. Ringel05
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    Ringel05 Diamond Member

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    [ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySOJ0qj_K2A]Old Men Fighting With Lightsabers - YouTube[/ame]
     
  4. Zona
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    Zona A guy in ariZONA

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    Now imagine them in uniform! Woohooo...:doubt:

    There is a place here in Arizona called Sun City. They have the most insane drivers I have ever seen...ever. I have driven in Boston, New York, Philly, L.A. They got nothing on the senior citizens we have here in Sun City.

    Not a speed issue, but life threatening non the less. They have drive by snoozing and everything!

    :)
     
  5. Zona
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    Zona A guy in ariZONA

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    Dernit, I thought this would get more love...lol
     
  6. Wry Catcher
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    Wry Catcher Platinum Member

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    I think it would be great. Boot camp at 19 sucked, I missed my girlfriend, my dog (yes, in that order) and of course my parents (same order, I say with some shame). If only the other side sent us over 60's the war would end quickly and with few casualties (maybe a heart attack or two) but most ailments are cured by a cup of whiskey and some NSAIDS.

    When that 23 yo old Second Lt. said take that hill he would hear a bunch of 60 somethings ask in unison, "Why". If he ordered us again the same chorus would say, "After you, sir".

    Most but not all of us at that age know the leaders who sent in the grunts are safely in their own beds at night, never sleep on the ground in underwear three days in the wearing or eat cold food in driving rain. There is nothing nice about wet socks in wet boots caked in mud.

    All of this is second hand, I served in the Navy. Hot food, dry racks and clean blankets.
     
  7. Zona
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    Zona A guy in ariZONA

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    I did my 20 in the Navy as well and I have to tell you something...the things you mentioned...sleeping on the ground and getting shot at and being in constant fear for your life..well, I am not sure if I would have been a "lifer". Dont know, was never put in that position.

    That 23 yr old second lt. would have had a hard time screaming at men who had kids older than him. lol 60 year olds tend to grab kids by the ears and yelling at them...lol
     
  8. The Gadfly
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    The Gadfly Senior Member

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    I WAS a grunt, so I can vouch for all that, and then some, first hand. I will also tell you that I wouldn't give a hoot in hell for ANY junior officer who wouldn't walk point like everyone else, and lead from the front; the motto I learned was "Follow Me!"

    Sometimes though, I really wish we old grunts COULD do the fighting, instead of sending in the kids, just so they wouldn't have to experience what battle is like; but unfortunately infantry combat is a young man's game.

    "Hot food, dry racks and clean blankets"...and you wonder why we grunts consider you squids spoiled!:lol:
     
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  9. Moonglow
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    Moonglow Diamond Member

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    Basic traing to me was easy. It pailed in comparisson to the years I had in football and wrestling training, as far as physical hardship.
     
  10. Unkotare
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    Unkotare Diamond Member

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    Where did you wrestle?
     

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