Dr. Obama, a recent graduate of the Kenya School of Medicine has announced that he will be accepting new patients in the near future. His clinic will open up in the Washington, DC suburbs just as soon as the Health Care Reform Bill is passed. He will accept cash, credit cards, and small jungle animals for payment. As a sideline to his practice, Dr. Obama can shrink the heads of recently deceased family members so you can use them for Christmas tree decorations. You can find him listed in the Yellow Pages of your phone book or just ask any ACORN member for the number.