Does Tabasco Sauce Cause Itchy Balls?

[chanel]

Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, the 50-year-old suspect told police that he was actually massaging and itching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.

When confronted by cops, Escamilla denied exposing himself. “I wasn’t out, I wasn’t hanging out,” he claimed. As reported by Officer Chris Reese, Escamilla “explained to me that he had spilled Tabasco sauce or something similar on his ‘penis’ and had an incredible itch.” He was rubbing his groin, Escamilla explained, “because it was the worst ‘itch in the world.’” Escamilla said he tried to be discreet by covering himself with his laptop, but that the girl must have “suspected something.”

According to an online biography, Escamilla is an accomplished physical therapist who holds a Ph.D. and has worked as a professor at Duke University and California State University. Escamilla currently works as research director at the Florida orthopedics and sports medicine institute founded by Dr. James Andrews, the noted surgeon whose clientele has included Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Charles Barkley, Jack Nicklaus, Roger Clemens, and Drew Brees.

Flier Blames Tabasco Spill For Lewd Act | The Smoking Gun

 

[Toro]

Yaknow...

I wouldn't dismiss this guy's explanation.

Capsaicin can linger for awhile. There have been several times when I've cooked with hot peppers and the effect has lingered for a day or two, even after washing hands several times. And its a bitch when you touch your eyes or, er, other sensitive parts of the body...

 

[xotoxi]

Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, the 50-year-old suspect told police that he was actually massaging and itching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.

When confronted by cops, Escamilla denied exposing himself. “I wasn’t out, I wasn’t hanging out,” he claimed. As reported by Officer Chris Reese, Escamilla “explained to me that he had spilled Tabasco sauce or something similar on his ‘penis’ and had an incredible itch.” He was rubbing his groin, Escamilla explained, “because it was the worst ‘itch in the world.’” Escamilla said he tried to be discreet by covering himself with his laptop, but that the girl must have “suspected something.”

According to an online biography, Escamilla is an accomplished physical therapist who holds a Ph.D. and has worked as a professor at Duke University and California State University. Escamilla currently works as research director at the Florida orthopedics and sports medicine institute founded by Dr. James Andrews, the noted surgeon whose clientele has included Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Charles Barkley, Jack Nicklaus, Roger Clemens, and Drew Brees.

Flier Blames Tabasco Spill For Lewd Act | The Smoking Gun

Teenage girls always think that the world revolves around them.

 

[dilloduck]

Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, the 50-year-old suspect told police that he was actually massaging and itching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.

When confronted by cops, Escamilla denied exposing himself. “I wasn’t out, I wasn’t hanging out,” he claimed. As reported by Officer Chris Reese, Escamilla “explained to me that he had spilled Tabasco sauce or something similar on his ‘penis’ and had an incredible itch.” He was rubbing his groin, Escamilla explained, “because it was the worst ‘itch in the world.’” Escamilla said he tried to be discreet by covering himself with his laptop, but that the girl must have “suspected something.”

According to an online biography, Escamilla is an accomplished physical therapist who holds a Ph.D. and has worked as a professor at Duke University and California State University. Escamilla currently works as research director at the Florida orthopedics and sports medicine institute founded by Dr. James Andrews, the noted surgeon whose clientele has included Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Charles Barkley, Jack Nicklaus, Roger Clemens, and Drew Brees.

Flier Blames Tabasco Spill For Lewd Act | The Smoking Gun

Teenage girls always think that the world revolves around them.

only teenage girls ?

 

[boedicca]

What a PERV.

 

[dilloduck]

What a PERV.

really she should be jailed for thinking that was what he was doing !

 

[Sherry]

He should have slathered it with sour cream.

 

[dilloduck]

He should have slathered it with sour cream.

She would have really flipped out after that

 

[Sherry]

He should have slathered it with sour cream.

She would have really flipped out after that

Everything tastes better with a dollop of Daisy.

 

[boedicca]

I feel the urge to quote myself:

I can't read "Bad Thing" without recalling a bit I heard on the radio some years ago.

A morning drive DJ had a segment of his program where callers would relate embarassing stories. An African-American man related a story to along these lines:

"My woman plays this game of making me wait when I'm in the mood. I'll be in bed all ready to get it on, and she spends all this time in the bathroom. So one night, I decided to teach her a lesson. While she was making me wait, I put some tobasco sauce on my BAD THANG. At first, it felt all right, but then it started burnin' and burnin'. My BAD THANG felt like it was on fire.

I yelled at my woman to come help me. She just started laughin', but got me a wet cloth to wrap my BAD THANG in. But it kept burnin! I had to put it in a glass of water to cool it off. Then, my woman took me to the emergency room while I held my BAD THANG in the glass of water.

The people at the emergency room laughed at my BAD THANG too."

http://www.usmessageboard.com/music/137539-a-very-bad-thing.html

 

[Wry Catcher]

Weren't teenage girls the accusers at the Salem Witch Trials? All humans between the age of 13 and 17 are a little bit nuts, some are more than a little. Most survive, and most wonder in latter years, "what the hell was I thinking".

 

[dilloduck]

I feel the urge to quote myself:

I can't read "Bad Thing" without recalling a bit I heard on the radio some years ago.

A morning drive DJ had a segment of his program where callers would relate embarassing stories. An African-American man related a story to along these lines:

"My woman plays this game of making me wait when I'm in the mood. I'll be in bed all ready to get it on, and she spends all this time in the bathroom. So one night, I decided to teach her a lesson. While she was making me wait, I put some tobasco sauce on my BAD THANG. At first, it felt all right, but then it started burnin' and burnin'. My BAD THANG felt like it was on fire.

I yelled at my woman to come help me. She just started laughin', but got me a wet cloth to wrap my BAD THANG in. But it kept burnin! I had to put it in a glass of water to cool it off. Then, my woman took me to the emergency room while I held my BAD THANG in the glass of water.

The people at the emergency room laughed at my BAD THANG too."

http://www.usmessageboard.com/music/137539-a-very-bad-thing.html

at least he had good intentions

 

[boedicca]

Weren't teenage girls the accusers at the Salem Witch Trials? All humans between the age of 13 and 17 are a little bit nuts, some are more than a little. Most survive, and most wonder in latter years, "what the hell was I thinking".

I read a book a few years ago called "Poisons of the Past". The author makes the case that the Salem Witch Trials, The French Revolution, and the Russian Revolution were influenced by ergot poisoning of the peasants mostly rye based diet.

Ergot is a form of natural LSD. Quite fascinating.

 

[xotoxi]

He should have slathered it with sour cream.

Maybe he was actually jacking it thinking that his jizz would soothe the burning and itching.

 

[dilloduck]

bah--women sit with their legs crossed and bounce one all the time and no one cares

 

[Sherry]

He should have slathered it with sour cream.

Maybe he was actually jacking it thinking that his jizz would soothe the burning and itching.

Dairy soothes....I would think anything salty might irritate it more.

 

[chanel]

I believe the girl. Where there's smoke, there's fire. And I don't mean balls on fire.

It would not surprise me if a few college girls from Duke come forward and relate some similar kinky condiment stories about the prof.

 

[dilloduck]

I believe the girl. Where there's smoke, there's fire. And I don't mean balls on fire.

It would not surprise me if a few college girls from Duke come forward and relate some similar kinky condiment stories about the prof.

She needs to get over it---people who text all the time bother me too but I don't freak out.

 

[LordBrownTrout]

He was trying to cover it up wasn't he? He should have just went on back to the bathroom though and itched away.

 

[chanel]

I believe the girl. Where there's smoke, there's fire. And I don't mean balls on fire.

It would not surprise me if a few college girls from Duke come forward and relate some similar kinky condiment stories about the prof.

She needs to get over it---people who text all the time bother me too but I don't freak out.

I hope youre not serious. Jerking off next to teenage girls is not annoying. Its illegal. He's been suspended from his job. If he's guilty (which I believe he is) he may never work in a school again. As it should be..