Do you praise your children too much?

[Zoom-boing]

I do believe a parent / guardian can over-praise a child. But ....
I also believe that we are programmed ( by our parents and then society ) with our beliefs at a very young age. What was taught to us, what was said to us as young children, we believed and most likely still holds true today. With that said, I do believe that children need plenty of praise when warranted. Of course, they need to be scolded as well, when they make a mistake, but also assure them that through their mistakes, they learn.

Praise does boost self-esteem and all of us need and want that, regardless of age. What parents need to do is to help their child think positive about themselves. To help them learn to love themselves. Of course, this can not be taught if the parent does not love themself to begin with.

Absolutely! Mistakes are often the best teacher.

 

[masquerade]

I do believe a parent / guardian can over-praise a child. But ....
I also believe that we are programmed ( by our parents and then society ) with our beliefs at a very young age. What was taught to us, what was said to us as young children, we believed and most likely still holds true today. With that said, I do believe that children need plenty of praise when warranted. Of course, they need to be scolded as well, when they make a mistake, but also assure them that through their mistakes, they learn.

Praise does boost self-esteem and all of us need and want that, regardless of age. What parents need to do is to help their child think positive about themselves. To help them learn to love themselves. Of course, this can not be taught if the parent does not love themself to begin with.

Absolutely! Mistakes are often the best teacher.

Sometimes the lessons are painful. Speaking from my own recent experience. Sigh ...

 

[eagleseven]

Hmm...

My mother still considers me "an irresponsible slob" and my father is more than happy to remind me what "a useless know-it-all asshole" I am. Nevermind the fact that they're now asking me for investment and medical advice!

But they love me...and when they (rarely) do praise me, I know they mean it.

Your parents are right.

That's what I'm afraid of...

 

[Cecilie1200]

I think it is important to let our kids know how much they fuckin' suck...at least once in a while.

What do you do if your children stubbornly insist on being terrific? I can't exactly lie to them about it.

 

[enigmablue]

You can wrongly praise more than over praise. I had a teacher at school [one example of many which comes to mind] who believed the most appreciated praise was earned. You accredited yourself fairly and justifiably against a reasonable benchmark. Now those words of discrimination and judgment are what often make parents flinch and cringe as they really don't know what they mean and how to enact them in child rearing.

Wrongful praising creates confusion in a child's mind. Equally, a lack of praise [being a mean bitch or bastard] ensures the child doubts themselves and simply can be a way a parent undermines a child's confidence in themselves. Why set praise so high against a shifting benchmark?