Do women want marriage and managomy more than men?

[Katzndogz]

American do not want marriage and monogamy in the sense that women do.

Men do not automatically "adore" marriage. That takes time.

Men "adore" romance and the lover. When it is over, men can walk away and not think about it at all. That is why so many men will just walk out of a relationship without explanation.

We simply are not conditioned as are women, because we don't live in, and avoid as much as possible, the woman's world.

I think that a lot of marriages fail becuase we are transitioning into an economic monarchy. A persons position in life is mostly dependant on their parents position in life AND by how dedicated their parents are to them. Young people remain economically and emotionally more tied to their parents than they do to their spouses. Often times parents dominate their children's marraiges.

They view spousal relationships as being only for pleasure. Bonding between spouses is poor, and when the going gets tough - they bail.

In a healthy marraige, romance fades, sex becomes less than thrilling, but a deep bond of love, friendship and dedication forms. Unfortunately, in a society of selfish spoiled brats this doesn't happen.

What you describe is extended infantileism where people are unwilling to separate from parental support. There are reasons why animals in the wild abandon their young as soon as the young animals reach a stage where they can hunt on their own. Humans don't have that sense of obligation to the next generation. Soon we will have the first generation of human beings (if we haven't started already) whose parents are dying and who have never learned to survive on their own.

 

[JakeStarkey]

Societies of men with multiple mates and or concubines have existed since pre-history.

The patriarchs of the Old Testament were polygamous.

Where ever there is a society with a very high infant mortality rate and very low life expectancy rate that society is going to be polygamous as a matter of survival. Personal fulfillment, particularly many sexual partners as a form of personal fulfillment came along very recently.

 

[Katzndogz]

Societies of men with multiple mates and or concubines have existed since pre-history.

The patriarchs of the Old Testament were polygamous.

exist

Where ever there is a society with a very high infant mortality rate and very low life expectancy rate that society is going to be polygamous as a matter of survival. Personal fulfillment, particularly many sexual partners as a form of personal fulfillment came along very recently.

Of course they were! The life expectancy was so low that 40 was old. Women died very young, frequently in child birth. If children lived past five the family was successful. A man, particularly late in life, may have started with a dozen wives, but was lucky to end up with one and that one the youngest. Because women did die often and young, polygamy was a way to ensure that the babies born in the family had care and a mother. It was not only important to have multiple wives, but it was important that women bore children close to one another. In the event of death, there would be someone available to nurse the now motherless child.

It really does make sense for the times. Life was a matter of survival, serious survival. If the man should die, his entire family was inherited by the line of succession so that women and children were never without a means of someone to provide for them. If a man today wants to have multiple partners and cannot commit, he is absolutely free to do just that. He just has to pay for the children he spawns.

Just to clarify. The number of wives was never really high for anyone. There are an unlimited number of concubines that were permitted. There was no responsibility to a concubine who was never promised care or support. In the event of a man's death the concubine would be returned to her family or sold along with her children. This was the importance of legal and binding marriage which did impose a promise of lifetime care and support for the legal spouse.

 

[High_Gravity]

Societies of men with multiple mates and or concubines have existed since pre-history.

The patriarchs of the Old Testament were polygamous.

exist

Where ever there is a society with a very high infant mortality rate and very low life expectancy rate that society is going to be polygamous as a matter of survival. Personal fulfillment, particularly many sexual partners as a form of personal fulfillment came along very recently.

Of course they were! The life expectancy was so low that 40 was old. Women died very young, frequently in child birth. If children lived past five the family was successful. A man, particularly late in life, may have started with a dozen wives, but was lucky to end up with one and that one the youngest. Because women did die often and young, polygamy was a way to ensure that the babies born in the family had care and a mother. It was not only important to have multiple wives, but it was important that women bore children close to one another. In the event of death, there would be someone available to nurse the now motherless child.

It really does make sense for the times. Life was a matter of survival, serious survival. If the man should die, his entire family was inherited by the line of succession so that women and children were never without a means of someone to provide for them. If a man today wants to have multiple partners and cannot commit, he is absolutely free to do just that. He just has to pay for the children he spawns.

Just to clarify. The number of wives was never really high for anyone. There are an unlimited number of concubines that were permitted. There was no responsibility to a concubine who was never promised care or support. In the event of a man's death the concubine would be returned to her family or sold along with her children. This was the importance of legal and binding marriage which did impose a promise of lifetime care and support for the legal spouse.

In modern day marriage as soon as you sign a marriage contract you are a concubine, man or woman.

 

[Richard-H]

Where ever there is a society with a very high infant mortality rate and very low life expectancy rate that society is going to be polygamous as a matter of survival. Personal fulfillment, particularly many sexual partners as a form of personal fulfillment came along very recently.

Your logic is backwards. Polygamy is largely the cause of higher infant and child mortality rates.

"Personal fulfillment" and many sexual partners is as old as mankind itself. Monogamy is the product of later human evolution.

We've just been going through a de-evolutionary period for the past 30 years or so. Social evolution is not a one way street.