divorce.....

[Shattered]

Having an opposite-sex confidant can lead to trouble. Encourage her to find a lady-friend to talk with, if she needs 'just to talk'.

That's a load of crap, unless there's a problem to begin with.. IMO, anyway...

 

[dmp]

That's a load of crap, unless there's a problem to begin with.. IMO, anyway...

You don't have to agree with me; but I'm right. Which situation would you think has the greatest chance of causing MORE problems:


1) Guy is married. Guy's friend Beth is divorcing, and uses Guy as a sounding board for her troubles. Guy offers Beth a shoulder to cry on. Guy is doing what a good friend does - holds her emotionally. He's 'there for her'. Guy is becoming everything her ex husband is/was not. She can confide in him in ways never imagined with her Ex. Why can't she just find somebody like Guy? Why can't she find Guy?

2) Sandy's husband's friend Beth is divorcing, and uses Sandy as a sounding board for her troubles. It's just really nice for Beth to have a woman to confide in. In Sandy, Beth has found a woman's perspective on the issues surrounding Beth's divorce.

Don't read into my advice, in my first reply. Sure there are plenty of situations where nothing would get complicated...but chances are, it's more Risky to use an opposite-gender "counsellor"

 

[Shattered]

My experiences have taught me differently...

The *potential* for problem is there, but the potential for problem exists in everything we say and do...

 

[Said1]

You don't have to agree with me; but I'm right. Which situation would you think has the greatest chance of causing MORE problems:


1) Guy is married. Guy's friend Beth is divorcing, and uses Guy as a sounding board for her troubles. Guy offers Beth a shoulder to cry on. Guy is doing what a good friend does - holds her emotionally. He's 'there for her'. Guy is becoming everything her ex husband is/was not. She can confide in him in ways never imagined with her Ex. Why can't she just find somebody like Guy? Why can't she find Guy?

2) Sandy's husband's friend Beth is divorcing, and uses Sandy as a sounding board for her troubles. It's just really nice for Beth to have a woman to confide in. In Sandy, Beth has found a woman's perspective on the issues surrounding Beth's divorce.

Don't read into my advice, in my first reply. Sure there are plenty of situations where nothing would get complicated...but chances are, it's more Risky to use an opposite-gender "counsellor"

I agree, or an unattched male friend who isn't her boss.

Manu didn't explain why she told him in the first place, perhaps she hasn't been her perky self at the office lately and felt an explaination was in order.

 

[dmp]

but the potential for problem exists in everything we say and do...

So the potential for a marital problem exists in my going to work every morning?


The potential problem in my going to work every day is probably (guessitmate) 100,000,000 times smaller than the potential for problem should I decide to 'stop' going to work every day.

It's about risk. Sure there's a chance you could have sex with an HIV positive person, and not contract the virus. Would you take that chance? Is there significantly lower risk if you do 'not' have sex with them?

 

[Shattered]

<b>So the potential for a marital problem exists in my going to work every morning?</b>


The potential problem in my going to work every day is probably (guessitmate) 100,000,000 times smaller than the potential for problem should I decide to 'stop' going to work every day.

It's about risk. Sure there's a chance you could have sex with an HIV positive person, and not contract the virus. Would you take that chance? Is there significantly lower risk if you do 'not' have sex with them?

Sure.. Just as soon as the chick you flirt with at work decides she likes it, and you more than is appropriate...

 

[dmp]

Sure.. Just as soon as the chick you flirt with at work decides she likes it, and you more than is appropriate...

That's not 'going to work' - that's 'flirting at the office'

 

[dilloduck]

I'm aware that many here poo-poo the idea of getting any counseling but IF there is ANY chance at reconciliation, I would recommend that as a place to start. If someone is merely looking for a cushion to assist her in leaving, then the die has been cast. Friends are quite hestitant to confront friends about what THEY are doing to exacerbate the problem. All counseling doesn't result in failure, folks.

 

[Mr. P]

You don't have to agree with me; but I'm right. Which situation would you think has the greatest chance of causing MORE problems:


1) Guy is married. Guy's friend Beth is divorcing, and uses Guy as a sounding board for her troubles. Guy offers Beth a shoulder to cry on. Guy is doing what a good friend does - holds her emotionally. He's 'there for her'. Guy is becoming everything her ex husband is/was not. She can confide in him in ways never imagined with her Ex. Why can't she just find somebody like Guy? Why can't she find Guy?

2) Sandy's husband's friend Beth is divorcing, and uses Sandy as a sounding board for her troubles. It's just really nice for Beth to have a woman to confide in. In Sandy, Beth has found a woman's perspective on the issues surrounding Beth's divorce.

Don't read into my advice, in my first reply. Sure there are plenty of situations where nothing would get complicated...but chances are, it's more Risky to use an opposite-gender "counsellor"

I agree.

The sex would be great, BUT....
The problems will be GREATER.
Especially if he's married.
*Yes men are pigs, unless they're gay*

 

[Shattered]

That's not 'going to work' - that's 'flirting at the office'

You have to "go to work" to "flirt at the office", sweetheart.

 

[dmp]

You have to "go to work" to "flirt at the office", sweetheart.

but there is such a LOW potential for problem, we can say there is
'no' RISK in the act of 'going to work'. It's the separate, individual act of inappropriate flirting which would cause the 'potential' for problem. And really, we're 'just' flirting. Mostly.

 

[Shattered]

but there is such a LOW potential for problem, we can say there is
'no' RISK in the act of 'going to work'. It's the separate, individual act of inappropriate flirting which would cause the 'potential' for problem. And really, we're 'just' flirting. Mostly.

LMAO!!!

Remind me to explain further when I get home tonight.

In the mean time, enjoy your bubble. :dev1:

 

[dmp]

LMAO!!!

Remind me to explain further when I get home tonight.

In the mean time, enjoy your bubble. :dev1:

Bring home bread, milk, and cereal if you would.

See ya later!

 

[Shattered]

Bring home bread, milk, and cereal if you would.

See ya later!

Butter. You forgot butter!

 

[Mr. P]

And KY for the makin-up part!:teeth:

 

[dmp]

And KY for the makin-up part!:teeth:

What does Kentucky have to do with this??

:

 

[Shattered]

Lmmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Bonnie]

Women do not "trade up" unless their current model becomes totally unreliable, and isn't worth the cost of repairs.

LOL!!

Really though I don't think she will have any trouble moving on after she gets it together for her and her daughter. Divorce is sad especially when kids are involved but it's never the end of the world.

 

[Mr. P]

Lmmfao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

D...if the "f" stands for fat, don't forget the flour!

*Leaving now*

 

[Bonnie]

I agree, or an unattched male friend who isn't her boss.

Manu didn't explain why she told him in the first place, perhaps she hasn't been her perky self at the office lately and felt an explaination was in order.

She may just be vulnerable or she may be on the prowl with the man who is nearest to her right now and she is looking for an ego boost??