Dilemma and advice

[Grace]

Roommate. He pays his own share of utilities but does not have to pay any rent at all. In exchange for that free rent, he is supposed to do chores I can no longer do...especially when I am in RA flareup mode. Those chores consist of using the pooper scooper every day in the back yard (takes about 2 minutes per day); sweeping the front driveway (about 5 minutes per day), vac'in the hallway and dining room (5 minutes per day but he is only to do it every other day); washing the evening supper dishes every night (other roomies do the cooking and he gets fed..takes about 10 minutes); mow the lawn every two weeks (takes about 15 minutes). That's it.

He has not done his chores. Instead, he is paying the other roommate to do his dishes. I have been picking up the poop, vac'ing when I can and when I can't the other roomie does it.

Meanwhile, he bought a brand new laptop for 495 bucks and signed up for internet service with aol at 11 bucks per month. If he can pay the other roomie to do his chores and afford a pc, he can pay rent.

I told him he has to do his own chores and if he does not do as agreed, he can move out on the first of August or start paying 300 bucks per month.

Am I being unfair? After all, some of the chores are getting done, but I have to rag him to do it or remind him. That is not my job to remind him or have to rag him.

Opinions would be appreciated.

 

[random3434]

He's got it pretty good I'd say.

What a lazy ass, those chores are nothing really, and he gets to live there rent free in return?

Make him pay his share of rent if he's not holding up his end of the bargain.

 

[Si modo]

Keep it simple and charge him rent, if you can, at this point.

You already have a de facto lease with him and likely cannot give him unitl 8/1 to get out. 30 days is the minimum from the time of the first request.

If he doesn't agree to pay rent, and get it in writing, then tell him he has to leave in 30 days and make sure you tell him in writing.

I mean, I don't want to tell anyone what to do, that's what I would do. If you get the rent from him, pay a kid in the neighborhood with that money to do stuff. If you don't get him to agree, then wait 30 days, but get a new roommate if you need one.

Good luck.

 

[R.D.]

Nope, you're being too nice.

Make him pay the rent. And put the poop on his laptop

 

[FuelRod]

Bill him outrageous sums for doing the chores he is neglecting.

 

[Grace]

Thank you guys.

Si, he is an ex relative. Every roomie signs an agreement that at any time anyone can give notice. Them to me, or me to them. Two week notice. He signed. He can get the hell out on the 1st or pay 300 bucks. He knows not to fuck with me. He also knows he has been taking advantage. And he knows I will take his shit and throw it outside in the street.
I have been letting him slide. No more. I will inform him nicely that the free ride is now over. (not necessarily in those terms. Nicer.)

New roomie will not get a reduction of rent or free rent. i will PAY them to do what needs to be done AS it needs to be done. Should save me some bucks, plus put some bucks back in the new roomies pocket.

 

[Si modo]

Thank you guys.

Si, he is an ex relative. Every roomie signs an agreement that at any time anyone can give notice. Them to me, or me to them. Two week notice. He signed. He can get the hell out on the 1st or pay 300 bucks. He knows not to fuck with me. He also knows he has been taking advantage. And he knows I will take his shit and throw it outside in the street.
I have been letting him slide. No more. I will inform him nicely that the free ride is now over. (not necessarily in those terms. Nicer.)

New roomie will not get a reduction of rent or free rent. i will PAY them to do what needs to be done AS it needs to be done. Should save me some bucks, plus put some bucks back in the new roomies pocket.

 

[Grace]

Well, he just walked in the door and I waylaid him. Told him what I said I was gonna tell him and he was not happy but oh well. He is moving on the 1st of the month. His loss. he had it made and lost it.

 

[lilbug]

Thank you guys.

Si, he is an ex relative. Every roomie signs an agreement that at any time anyone can give notice. Them to me, or me to them. Two week notice. He signed. He can get the hell out on the 1st or pay 300 bucks. He knows not to fuck with me. He also knows he has been taking advantage. And he knows I will take his shit and throw it outside in the street.
I have been letting him slide. No more. I will inform him nicely that the free ride is now over. (not necessarily in those terms. Nicer.)

New roomie will not get a reduction of rent or free rent. i will PAY them to do what needs to be done AS it needs to be done. Should save me some bucks, plus put some bucks back in the new roomies pocket.

I like this idea except contiuning to depend on roomies to do the chores. I can foresee, over time, they will slide on this part of the deal, paid or not as this is an unsual agreement on the part of roomies..the getting paid part, and roomies are nortorious for not doing chores anyway. I would get a neighbor kid to mow the lawn and sweep the driveway, and perhaps have someone come in to do light cleaning once a week. There's no messy emotional/roomie connection with getting someone from outside the house to these specific chores, and you are more assurred that these chores will get done. Bump the rent for each roomie a bit to pay for these costs, explaning to them that otherwise the responsibility falls to them. I'll bet they'll go for not having to deal with these things themselves. If the pet is yours, IMO, poop scooping is your responsiblity. If other roomies have pets, that chore should be shared. Roomies should share preparing meals and clean-up on a daily basis, set up schedule and post it on the fridge. If a roomie cannot fulfill this, they can swap with another roomie.

 

[xsited1]

Would his name by any chance be Hugh G. Penis?

 

[Grace]

No pets allowed, lilbug.And yes, it is my responsibility to pick up my dogs poo. Unless they are getting free rent. Then dog poo detail is that persons responsibility.
Next roomie wont have to worry about it. During flareups, I will have to it myself regardless. No more free rent. Period. Not even a reduction. I will slap an ad in Craigslist for teenager needed for chores now and then.

Meanwhile, he is moving out TONIGHT. He is going to go mooch off his sister. He is 47 years old, does not own a car, has no job, won't look for a job. Let her support him cuz I'm done trying to help him.
His "thank you" to me was a parting shot out the passenger side window as they drove away? "Since you cut your hair, you look like a dyke".
Isn't that nice?

 

[St.Blues]

Grace, The way I see it is a women is the greatest gift of all. When a guy won't do for you he's a lazy bastard, a wimp. This guy wouldn't do for himself. Did you think you could change him? Fat chance. Any way, I think you look great, sexy as a matter of fact. Whats better than a sexy lady? Maybe heaven!


Blues

 

[Zoom-boing]

No pets allowed, lilbug.And yes, it is my responsibility to pick up my dogs poo. Unless they are getting free rent. Then dog poo detail is that persons responsibility.
Next roomie wont have to worry about it. During flareups, I will have to it myself regardless. No more free rent. Period. Not even a reduction. I will slap an ad in Craigslist for teenager needed for chores now and then.

Meanwhile, he is moving out TONIGHT. He is going to go mooch off his sister. He is 47 years old, does not own a car, has no job, won't look for a job. Let her support him cuz I'm done trying to help him.
His "thank you" to me was a parting shot out the passenger side window as they drove away? "Since you cut your hair, you look like a dyke".
Isn't that nice?

You made the right decision by laying down the law and it's his choice to leave.

You could ask a neighbor kid to come and poopy-scoop once a day and pay them $10 or so per week. It would be off your mind and it would get done.

 

[Big Fitz]

Thank you guys.

Si, he is an ex relative. Every roomie signs an agreement that at any time anyone can give notice. Them to me, or me to them. Two week notice. He signed. He can get the hell out on the 1st or pay 300 bucks. He knows not to fuck with me. He also knows he has been taking advantage. And he knows I will take his shit and throw it outside in the street.
I have been letting him slide. No more. I will inform him nicely that the free ride is now over. (not necessarily in those terms. Nicer.)

New roomie will not get a reduction of rent or free rent. i will PAY them to do what needs to be done AS it needs to be done. Should save me some bucks, plus put some bucks back in the new roomies pocket.

Well if he's leaving voluntarily now, good. But be very careful in the future that it's in your sublet agreement that any roomie signs that you can put them out on the street for non-payment et all because otherwise they could come back and sue you. I'd hate for you to have that kind of trouble.

 

[Grace]

Every roomie signs a rental agreement. For 35 years I was in property management.

 

[CitizenPained]

What are you, his mother?

 

[Grace]

What are you, his mother?

No. He is the ex husbands nephew.

 

[Big Fitz]

Every roomie signs a rental agreement. For 35 years I was in property management.

Yeah, I did property management for like a year when I worked in hospitality. You learn quickly what kind of scum and losers are out there.

 

[Iridescence]

One of the most challenging thing as a parent, for me, is teaching my children to be responsible. It seems so few find it necessary to reinforce or even merely support my ways though. I let them watch a lot of tv programs about other families and the different relationship dynamics at work just so they get a better idea of different maturity levels within people. Basic chores are so important for everyone to keep up. For years it seemed I was the family jackass left to pick up after our four children, the dogs, the man, and whatever company he brought in. It still seems to be every bit that way most days even though now my children are older.

I work now outside of the home and it can prove to be quite challenging as I will sometimes come home to disastrous messes.

Some mothers seriously seem to destroy their children, their boys especially, by never teaching them to either find their own entertainment in basic inexpensive things or to cook, clean, and look after themselves and their own things. Some mothers will do everything that needs to be done for their boys up until they move out to get married or worse yet... follow them through out life preventing them from ever really learning to do for themselves let alone to do for themselves and a wife, a family of their own.

It can be so defeating when 'we' work so hard to teach our children to not rebel against authority, to respect their peers and their elders and yet come to better understand through experience that perhaps teaching them to do so may be nothing more than entrapping them into a system of either physical or spiritual enslavement if not both.

 

[lilbug]

No pets allowed, lilbug.And yes, it is my responsibility to pick up my dogs poo. Unless they are getting free rent. Then dog poo detail is that persons responsibility.
Next roomie wont have to worry about it. During flareups, I will have to it myself regardless. No more free rent. Period. Not even a reduction. I will slap an ad in Craigslist for teenager needed for chores now and then.

Meanwhile, he is moving out TONIGHT. He is going to go mooch off his sister. He is 47 years old, does not own a car, has no job, won't look for a job. Let her support him cuz I'm done trying to help him.
His "thank you" to me was a parting shot out the passenger side window as they drove away? "Since you cut your hair, you look like a dyke".
Isn't that nice?

Wow! Thought we were talking about someone much younger! Yeah, you didn't take him to raise, someone already screwed that job up long ago. You absolutely did the right thing. I imagine he's burned a lot of bridges with his behavior and sis, tho family, will get sick of it too. From my point of view, he's a burden. Folks, these days especially, have no use for folks who do not contribute to their own well being and make some kind of effort to be a contributing human being to the quality of their life and their world. Good riddance. Take solace in the fact that you made the effort to help him and that is more than you were expected to do.

His remark about your appearance (hair) only further proves his lack of maturity, and at 47, that's pathetic. I'm guessing you're a real cutie, but can tell from your posts you're a woman of substance and character and that's all that really matters. Hugs!!