DEMOCRATS AND DODO BIRDS: A STUDY IN SIMILARITIES
Ive said it before, with face aglow, the modern Democratic party is dying. It deserves a quick death and a hopeful ressurection as true party of ideas. But in light of recent events and challenges to my thesis that the party is dying, Ive put together a comparison between Democrats and the DoDo bird. You be the judge.
The Dodo is a lesson in extinction. First sighted by sailors around 1600 on Mauritius, an island in the Indian Ocean, the Dodo was extinct less than eighty years later.
The Democratic Party was founded around 1800 and was extinct about 200 years later.
There are no complete Dodo specimens. The primary causes of their extinction were the destruction of the forest (which cut off the Dodos food supply), and the animals that the sailors brought with them, including cats, rats, and pigs, which destroyed Dodo nests.
There is no such thing as a true Democrat. The party is a coalition of special interests groups whos only commonalities are a desire for suckling at the tax payers teet and the misguided idea that they deserve more than they really do. The causes of their destruction are lack of honesty, elitism and the rats and pigs theyve allowed to takeover the party and guide its platform. (suspected invading species are the MichaelusMoreass and the BarbaricBoxer)
The Dodos stubby wings and heavy, ungainly body tell us that the bird was flightless. Moreover, its breastbone is too small to support the huge pectoral muscles a bird this size would need to fly. Yet scientists believe that the Dodo evolved from a bird capable of flight into a flightless one.
The Democrats constant puffery about how much it cares about so many different issues tell us that the party really has no soul and no guiding principles. Moreover, its record of accomplishment is to small to support the huge claims of success at curing social ills. (Please refer to Health Care, Education, Terrorism and Social Security for more information.) Scientists do believe that the Democratic Party was once a capable party that did things, but evolved into nothing more than a party that opposes things.
It is likely that an ancestor of the Dodo landed on Mauritius, it found a habitat with plenty of food and no predators. It therefore did not need to fly, and, as flying takes a great deal of energy, it was more efficient for the bird to remain on the ground. Eventually, the flightless Dodo evolved.
It is likely that sometime in the early 70s the Democratic Party leaders discovered that opposition to something (Nixon, Watergate, Vietnam, etc.) could bring together, under one banner, groups that had no other meaningful or recognizable connection. It therefore did not need to have ideas and principles to gain power and thrive. That took a great deal of energy. Instead, the party began adding more and more groups and causes to its fold until it became all things to all people and nothing to anyone.
The Republican Party, under the leadership of George Bush and with the political guidence of Carl Rove, are only a few more coffin nails away from burying the Democratic Party as you have known it for decades. (Ask Zell Miller)
http://www.laughatliberals.com/blog/archives/2005/democrats-and-dodo-birds-a-study-in-similarities/
