~Define An Alcoholic~

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by Dabs, Jul 28, 2011.

  1. Ali777
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    Ali777 Member

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    Oh please. The 12-Steps don't work any where near what it's hyped out to. Only about 5% of those who use it stay sober past the first year. About the same amount that do so without any treatment program what so ever. It doesn't teach you how to discover any sort of truth. All it does is get you addicted to a religion cult. If you were a Alcohol Program Advisor in the Navy, you probably lied to sailors about it not being religious "but spritual" and forced them to attend religious activities, which didn't do them any damned good. :eusa_pray::cuckoo:

    They drink because of something in their past that they feel pain over?
    You don't know what the hell you're talking about. We all feel pain over past events.
    Feel normal? From drinking? Are you out of your mind? Binge drinkers don't feel right unless they're celebrating? WTF are you talking about?
     
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2011
  2. Cecilie1200
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    Cecilie1200 Diamond Member

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    Forgive me for being pedantic, but it would be someone with a compulsive need for alcohol.

    The reason I say this is because everyone is wired differently. One person could go out clubbing with his friends two or three nights a week, and have some beers every evening, and not be an alcoholic because he's physically and psychologically capable of giving up alcohol if the requirement arose with no ill effects. Another person could conceivably drink less alcohol total, and less often, but be incapable of giving it up without suffering physical or mental problems from it.

    It's the need that defines it for me, not the amount.
     
  3. Douger
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    Douger BANNED

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    I'm a pussyholic. :eusa_drool:
     
  4. Grace
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    Grace BANNED

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    well, from my experiences with alcoholism, it's a gene that is dormant in the body (passed from parent(s) or ancestors) that is prodded awake once the gene is "poked" with alcohol. Which is why one drink for some people is like one hit of heroin or coke or whatever. All it takes is one time and that's all she wrote.
    Ex didn't go to AA because he said sitting around listening to a bunch of sober (and sometimes not so sober) ex drunks talking about their problems with drinking and hitting their bottoms just made him wanna get up and leave and hit the nearest bar. So he did it alone. I didn't help him either. He had to do it on his own and he had to WANT to do it on his own. Took a few tries and falling off the proverbial wagon a few times but he is doing good so far. 6 years sober. Last time he only lasted 3. But it was long enough the years we were married to kill any love I had for him "in that way". We are best friends, but that's it. It died. His best friend, The Bottle, saw to that.

    I have gone to plenty of meetings though. For friends and family. NA and AA both. And then I would go to my alanon so I could learn about how it affected ME and that I was not all by myself with that shit. Took years. Took my life. Took my trust. Ruined my marriage. Ended my relationships with my family. Ended my friendships.

    I think what griped my butt the most going to those meetings was the knowlege that their little cards on the table of each meeting that said "what is shared here, STAYS here"...which was a crock of shit. Bunch of gossipy old bastards and biddy hens talking to all and sundry about who fell off the wagon, who showed up stoned or drunk, who was sleeping with whom, blah blah blah. AND the topping on that proverbial bullshit cake was those who sat there all preening claiming they were 20 years sober and acting like kings of the castle. I finally had enough after witnessing this shit and my last meeting with a friend of mine at AA was me standing up in the middle of the bullshit talk and saying "if you're sober after 20 fucking years, what the fuck are you doing here????? Go live your life like you should and quite talking about everyone else here behind their backs, you bunch of hypocrites".

    I don't go to alanon any more either. No need. Unless ex starts in again...which I hope like hell never happens again. It will kill both of us this next go round.
     
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    Last edited: Jul 29, 2011
  5. Douger
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    Douger BANNED

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    Grace. EX is X. WTF are you doing there ?
     
  6. Dabs
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    Dabs ~Unpredictable~

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    My ex husband is a prime example of an alcoholic. I knew he drank when I married him, but who knows why I still went on with the marriage. He admitted he was an alcoholic years ago, and he still admits it to this day.
    He is 52 years old, and has been a heavy duty drinker since he was about 16 or so. I married him when I was 22 and he was 25.
    When we married, he started working at this large carpet place, 12 hour shifts, working 8 PM to 8 AM.
    When he got more seniority, he went to days, working 8 AM to 8 PM.
    He never missed work, always took care of his family.
    But every night after work, he would walk in with a 12 pack or 18 pack of Busch beer in cans, and he would consume every single one of those beers, until he finally passed out or just got tired and went to sleep.
    He still does that to this day. On days that he is not working, he drinks way more. A LOT more. His work hours are odd- he works 3 days, then 2 days off....then works 2 days, then 3 days off...it's so he has every other weekend off.
    He mostly drinks beer, but often he will go for the homemade moonshine (raunchy stuff) or some Muscadine wine, he has a friend who makes that. I, and our son, think he looks yellowish. Which I know, is not a good sign, I think he needs his liver checked, and he'll tell you the same, but because he's afraid of what the doctor will say, he doesn't want to go to the doctor.
    He has lost some weight, and yes he is my ex husband, and no I don't have any love feelings for him, but, he is my son's Father, and I worry for that reason mainly, but also, I don't like to see any human being suffer.
    There were many nights, he would pass out on the ground, and his friends would call me, and tell me he is laying out cold. There are nights NOW, that I will go over and find him lying lifeless on the sofa, and I fear the worst as I walk over, only to find he has passed out, with a half full beer in his hand.
    He will tell us he knows he is an alcoholic. But he refuses to do anything about it.
    My SF (step-father) was an alcoholic too, in the younger years, but he stopped drinking as he got older. I don't see this happening with the ex. But, with the way my luck runs, the bastard will probably out-live me *ha*
     
  7. Trajan
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    Trajan conscientia mille testes

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    I think you mean "enzyme";)

    and in answer to the OP-

    You are powerless over alcohol— your life has become unmanageable.

    paraphrased from step 1.
     
  8. AllieBaba
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    AllieBaba BANNED

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    I'm with the majority I think...an alcoholic is someone who's drinking causes problems and who knows it but doesn't/can't quit.

    I'm not a person who thinks drinking alone is the hallmark of an alcoholic. I rarely drink any more and when I do, it's a couple of toddies late at night in my own house.
     
  9. Sallow
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    Sallow The Big Bad Wolf. Supporting Member

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    Anyone in Alcoholics Anonymous.

    Otherwise..they are drunks.
     
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  10. Dabs
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    Dabs ~Unpredictable~

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    But if they are in AA, doesn't that mean they are trying to get help??
    And it could quite possibly mean, they can quit drinking, if they haven't already.
    I knew of a man who went to AA for 10 years after he quit drinking, just to keep himself on the right road as he called it :)
    A drunk is someone who just doesn't give a shit, who they hurt, themselves or others...no regards for anything else. Their drinking is the number one thing in their life.
    I think if someone is going to AA, they might be considered an alcoholic at one time, but if they can totally quit, I think it can then be said they were ONCE an alcoholic, but not one anymore.
     

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