Decided to Become a Liberal

Discussion in 'Current Events' started by Nonelitist, Apr 9, 2010.

  1. Nonelitist
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    Nonelitist BANNED

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    I have decided to become a liberal, but I don't know what the complete process is.

    Can you liberals suggest my plan of action from this point on?

    I need to learn how to do it right.
     
  2. rightwinger
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    rightwinger Paid Messageboard Poster Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label "Liberal?" If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then ... we are not that kind of "Liberal." But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." [JFK September 14, 1960]


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  3. Maple
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    Maple Senior Member

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    Ignore all facts and truth, always voice your opinion based on your emotions and feel good philosophies. Pay no attention to numbers or budgetary items, and mentally move yourself into a constant state of denial and coma. Oh and lest I forget- learn NOTHING about HISTORY. Remember to always blame Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuush when caught in a corner and call anyone who disagrees with you a racist. There--- you have the rules for becoming a liberal. :lol::lol:
     
  4. Coyote
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    Coyote Varmint Staff Member Senior USMB Moderator Gold Supporting Member

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    We frequently get requests for political reassignment surgery, however I must warn you - it's easier to go from liberal to conservative (all that is needed is a larger set of balls and a few good men), it's quite a different story to go from conservative to liberal.

    Since it's impossible to reverse a lobotomy...you can't do it "right". But I can give you some some tips on how to overcome that deficiency and be a pretend liberal :eusa_angel:
     
  5. theDoctorisIn
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    theDoctorisIn Senior Mod Staff Member Senior USMB Moderator

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    Buy a hybrid. Become a vegetarian. Move to Marin County, or Brooklyn. Get a good paying, intellectual sort of job - like college professor or research scientist. Go to independent movies, and listen to indie music or world music. Go to protests, and donate money to union PACs. Empathize with poor people, and buy your half-caf soy latte at starbucks.

    Or you could stop being a partisan asshole.
     
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  6. xsited1
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    xsited1 Agent P

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    Start with a lobotomy. After that, everything will be crystal clear.
     
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  7. Mr Clean
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    Mr Clean Gold Member

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    Liberal = People over profits

    Conservative = Profits over people
     
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  8. saveliberty
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    saveliberty Diamond Member

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    Just parrot the talking points and pull the Democrat lever in the voting booth. Thinking is discouraged as it may result in noting the consequences of the party's actions. Paint alot of smiley faces on your fridge. Keep a pitcher of kool-aid toward the back.
     
  9. California Girl
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    California Girl BANNED

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    If you actually believe that, it is no wonder you are a moron.
     
  10. Queen
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    Queen Senior Member

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    Get your news from other sources besides FOX. Listen to NPR more often. Learn to seek the truth and think for yourself. Here are some of our important policies and political stances: Education is more important for our tax dollars to be spent on than war and prisons. Because if kids are educated they will be productive members of society and not end up in prison, which costs more in the long run anyway. War is all deficit spending so it's just ruining our country. Stop loving the fetus and hating the child. Promote children's health and welfare causes. Don't support asshole Republican congressmen who want to end school lunches and take away children's health care.

    It's hard for a rightie to make this switch after years of letting others tell you what to think. But it's an honorable mission and I wish you good luck.
     
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    Last edited: Apr 9, 2010

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