Dear President Bush, please help me with these issues

Discussion in 'Religion and Ethics' started by Bullypulpit, Nov 21, 2004.

  1. Bullypulpit
    Offline

    Bullypulpit Senior Member

    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Messages:
    5,849
    Thanks Received:
    378
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Columbus, OH
    Ratings:
    +379
    Dear President Bush,

    Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's law.

    I have learned a great deal from you and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. I do need some advice from you however, regarding some elements of God's laws and how to follow them.


    1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A
    friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

    2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair
    price for her?

    3. When I burn a bull on the alter as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord (lev. 1:9). The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

    4. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states that he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

    5. A friend of mine feels that, even though eating shellfish is an abomination (Lev. 11:10), it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there "degrees" of abomination?

    6. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

    7. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

    8. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

    9. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/poly blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them (Lev.24:10-16)? Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws (Lev. 20:14)?

    I know you've studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help.

    Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 2
  2. nakedemperor
    Offline

    nakedemperor Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    1,437
    Thanks Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +150
    Hahahahahaha

    Touche, Bully, touche!

    YOU'RE the pimp du jour, today :soul:
     
  3. nakedemperor
    Offline

    nakedemperor Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    1,437
    Thanks Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +150
    Come oooon.. its fuuuunny :teeth:
     
  4. no1tovote4
    Offline

    no1tovote4 VIP Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
    Messages:
    10,294
    Thanks Received:
    616
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Colorado
    Ratings:
    +616
  5. no1tovote4
    Offline

    no1tovote4 VIP Member

    Joined:
    Apr 13, 2004
    Messages:
    10,294
    Thanks Received:
    616
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Colorado
    Ratings:
    +616
    And now a Buddhist raised in a Pentacostal household will provide your answer.

    Yahweh created a new covenant with the new sacrifice of his Son, it negated and made the old laws void while creating a new law.

    You can find it several different places but here is one in Hebrews Chapter 8:8-15.


    8 For finding fault with them, he saith, Behold, the days come, saith the Lord, when I will make a new covenant with the house of Israel and with the house of Judah: 9 Not according to the covenant that I made with their fathers in the day when I took them by the hand to lead them out of the land of Egypt; because they continued not in my covenant, and I regarded them not, saith the Lord. 10 For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel after those days, saith the Lord; I will put my laws into their mind, and write them in their hearts: and I will be to them a God, and they shall be to me a people: 11 And they shall not teach every man his neighbour, and every man his brother, saying, Know the Lord: for all shall know me, from the least to the greatest. 12 For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more. 13 In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away.

    The italics are mine they stress the part that negates the old, the new law taught in the New Testament is the binding law written in the hearts of man according to the Christian's holy book, The Holy Bible.
     
  6. Merlin1047
    Offline

    Merlin1047 Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2004
    Messages:
    3,500
    Thanks Received:
    449
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    AL
    Ratings:
    +450
    .
     
  7. Semper Fi
    Offline

    Semper Fi VIP Member

    Joined:
    Nov 25, 2003
    Messages:
    1,772
    Thanks Received:
    130
    Trophy Points:
    83
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Ratings:
    +130
    Good call, Merlin, good call. As for Bullybullshit, take your witch-goddess' advice and shove it!
     
  8. nakedemperor
    Offline

    nakedemperor Senior Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2004
    Messages:
    1,437
    Thanks Received:
    150
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    NYC
    Ratings:
    +150
    No bet =)

    What's a finski?
     
  9. musicman
    Offline

    musicman Senior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2004
    Messages:
    5,171
    Thanks Received:
    533
    Trophy Points:
    48
    Location:
    Ohio
    Ratings:
    +533


    To which the nun replied, "Twenty-five, just like downtown.....". Oops, sorry - right answer, wrong question.

    Finski: AKA fin, fiver, Abie...
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  10. Jimmyeatworld
    Offline

    Jimmyeatworld Silver Member

    Joined:
    Jan 12, 2004
    Messages:
    2,239
    Thanks Received:
    223
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Location:
    America
    Ratings:
    +223
    All I have to say is....

    Good catch no1tovotefor.

    Anyone wanting to circulate something regarding the Bible should crack one open.

    Anyone wanting to circulate something regarding the Bible should know the difference between the Old Testament and the New Testament and know why there is an old and new.

    I thought a "finski" was a five, but I am more than willing to admit I am wrong.
     

Share This Page