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I don't want a divorce.
America is America because of the diversity we enjoy. America without liberals would be a depressing place in deed as would America without conservatives. Liberals and conservatives complement each other. Where conservatives fail, liberals provide the steam to move the nation. Where liberal fail, conservatives apply the reigns to slow down the runaway stallion.
Believe it or not... we need each other.
Now, if you want to divorce someone... might I suggest we all consider divorcing ourselves of the partisan idiots we have sent to Washington, DC? Vote No for the incumbent.
Immie
I dunno Immie. To hear the liberals talk, everything would be perfect without us conservatives. I don't think you'll be successful in convincing them that conservatives have any value at all. Of course reconciliation is the preferred route for all, but it just isn't happening. So an amicable divorce seems the best solution for all.
The problem is the conservatives can see that in our mythical hypothesis here.
The leftists aren't able to let go of the hate long enough to have any fun at all with this.
You see the problem?
I would like a divorce from both parties.
The Democrats can keep their marxists, and their high taxes, and their big spending, and their "blame America first" mentality, and their losers who think they are in the 99 percent.
The Republicans can keep their birthers, and their wealth redistribution, and their big spending, and their "waterboarding is not torture" doublethink, and their dumbing down of American rhetoric.
And so forth and so on.
Neither one brings anything to the table worth keeping any more.
Seriously.
Oh geez. You want a third country? That's going to take a lot of work. So which choices on the list do you want for your country? Those assigned to the liberals? Or those assigned to the conservatives?
B-b-but..
I live in the Pacific NW! Can we trade out Oregon for Massachusetts?
I don't want a divorce.
America is America because of the diversity we enjoy. America without liberals would be a depressing place in deed as would America without conservatives. Liberals and conservatives complement each other. Where conservatives fail, liberals provide the steam to move the nation. Where liberal fail, conservatives apply the reigns to slow down the runaway stallion.
Believe it or not... we need each other.
Now, if you want to divorce someone... might I suggest we all consider divorcing ourselves of the partisan idiots we have sent to Washington, DC? Vote No for the incumbent.
Immie
I dunno Immie. To hear the liberals talk, everything would be perfect without us conservatives. I don't think you'll be successful in convincing them that conservatives have any value at all. Of course reconciliation is the preferred route for all, but it just isn't happening. So an amicable divorce seems the best solution for all.
The problem is the conservatives can see that in our mythical hypothesis here.
The leftists aren't able to let go of the hate long enough to have any fun at all with this.
You see the problem?
Liberals dont have a problem with conservatives its the rightwing extremists, the TPM nitwits, and the social conservatives who are making life difficult in America today.
Please name a prominent left wing extremist and discuss his/her influence on Congress.
Thanks.
I don't want a divorce.
America is America because of the diversity we enjoy. America without liberals would be a depressing place in deed as would America without conservatives. Liberals and conservatives complement each other. Where conservatives fail, liberals provide the steam to move the nation. Where liberal fail, conservatives apply the reigns to slow down the runaway stallion.
Believe it or not... we need each other.
Now, if you want to divorce someone... might I suggest we all consider divorcing ourselves of the partisan idiots we have sent to Washington, DC? Vote No for the incumbent.
Immie
I dunno Immie. To hear the liberals talk, everything would be perfect without us conservatives. I don't think you'll be successful in convincing them that conservatives have any value at all. Of course reconciliation is the preferred route for all, but it just isn't happening. So an amicable divorce seems the best solution for all.
The problem is the conservatives can see that in our mythical hypothesis here.
The leftists aren't able to let go of the hate long enough to have any fun at all with this.
You see the problem?
You're speaking of the extremists and many of those who are liberal extremists on the board. They make up a small proportion of "liberalism" just as conservative extremists make up a small proportion of "conservatism". Sites such as this seem to draw out extremists due to the anonymity.
You're conservative. I suspect you have a liberal or two in your family. You know, that uncle that everyone loves but no one wants to claim. Would you really want to exile him to San Francisco or some other liberal haven in the new "America"?
Most of us have some qualities that can be considered liberal and others that are quite conservative. Are you going to chop everyone up and send the liberal "third" to San Francisco and the conservative two-thirds to Kalamazoo?
I found your "divorce agreement" to be funny in a cute kind of way, but I am certain that if you look hard enough, you will find the same kind of funny, cute piece of humor coming from the left and saying essentially the same thing.
As Americans we're better off with with each other as opposed to separate.
Immie
It's a little old, but...
Red vs Blue Joke - Dear Red States
Dear Red States,
We're ticked off at the way you've treated California and we've decided we're leaving.
We intend to form our own country and we're taking the other Blue States with us.
In case you aren't aware that includes Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast.
We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation and especially to the people of the new country of New California.[...]
You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.
We get stem cell research and the best beaches.[...]
We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss.
We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs.
You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue. You get to make the red states
pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.[...]
With the Blue States in hand we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines (you can serve French wines at state dinners) 90% of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the US low sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven
Sister schools plus Harvard, Yale, Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans and their projected health care costs, 92% of all US mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush
Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.
We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.[...]
We're taking the good pot too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Sincerely,
Author Unknown in New California.
I dunno Immie. To hear the liberals talk, everything would be perfect without us conservatives. I don't think you'll be successful in convincing them that conservatives have any value at all. Of course reconciliation is the preferred route for all, but it just isn't happening. So an amicable divorce seems the best solution for all.
The problem is the conservatives can see that in our mythical hypothesis here.
The leftists aren't able to let go of the hate long enough to have any fun at all with this.
You see the problem?
You're speaking of the extremists and many of those who are liberal extremists on the board. They make up a small proportion of "liberalism" just as conservative extremists make up a small proportion of "conservatism". Sites such as this seem to draw out extremists due to the anonymity.
You're conservative. I suspect you have a liberal or two in your family. You know, that uncle that everyone loves but no one wants to claim. Would you really want to exile him to San Francisco or some other liberal haven in the new "America"?
Most of us have some qualities that can be considered liberal and others that are quite conservative. Are you going to chop everyone up and send the liberal "third" to San Francisco and the conservative two-thirds to Kalamazoo?
I found your "divorce agreement" to be funny in a cute kind of way, but I am certain that if you look hard enough, you will find the same kind of funny, cute piece of humor coming from the left and saying essentially the same thing.
As Americans we're better off with with each other as opposed to separate.
Immie
Really? Have you read the thread? You see conservatibve after conservative getting into the spirit of the thing, having fun with it, and agreeing to the concepts they would like to see prevail in this country.
And you see post after post after post from those on the left dredging up the same old straw men, complaining about the OP, denigrating conservatives, calling us idiots or worse, and trying to make this yet another school yard insult fest between left and right. Not one--count em--not ONE has grasped the concept in any way, shape, or form, and not ONE has been willing to engage in the exercise.
But you want them around anyway.
I don't think we are better off with all the leftist influence because I am old enough to remember when it pretty much didn't exist. And it was a far stronger, more stable, more congenial, and more positive them. That's why I want the divorce. They are NEVER going to allow the original American values to be at the forefront again, so let them make their own country to their own liking. And then let us conservatives use conservative values to fix the problems that we have.
You'll notice not ONE on the Left has yet said he or she wants a country of all Leftists. Not one who has suggested that a live and let live world would be preferable to one in which everybody is ripping everybody to shreds. That should be your first clue of the dynamics we are dealing with Sherlock.
(And yes, I have some flaming liberals among my friends and in my family. I'll miss them but there is no reason we can't visit back and forth while we each have the country we want.)
I dunno Immie. To hear the liberals talk, everything would be perfect without us conservatives. I don't think you'll be successful in convincing them that conservatives have any value at all. Of course reconciliation is the preferred route for all, but it just isn't happening. So an amicable divorce seems the best solution for all.
The problem is the conservatives can see that in our mythical hypothesis here.
The leftists aren't able to let go of the hate long enough to have any fun at all with this.
You see the problem?
You're speaking of the extremists and many of those who are liberal extremists on the board. They make up a small proportion of "liberalism" just as conservative extremists make up a small proportion of "conservatism". Sites such as this seem to draw out extremists due to the anonymity.
You're conservative. I suspect you have a liberal or two in your family. You know, that uncle that everyone loves but no one wants to claim. Would you really want to exile him to San Francisco or some other liberal haven in the new "America"?
Most of us have some qualities that can be considered liberal and others that are quite conservative. Are you going to chop everyone up and send the liberal "third" to San Francisco and the conservative two-thirds to Kalamazoo?
I found your "divorce agreement" to be funny in a cute kind of way, but I am certain that if you look hard enough, you will find the same kind of funny, cute piece of humor coming from the left and saying essentially the same thing.
As Americans we're better off with with each other as opposed to separate.
Immie
Really? Have you read the thread? You see conservatibve after conservative getting into the spirit of the thing, having fun with it, and agreeing to the concepts they would like to see prevail in this country.
And you see post after post after post from those on the left dredging up the same old straw men, complaining about the OP, denigrating conservatives, calling us idiots or worse, and trying to make this yet another school yard insult fest between left and right. Not one--count em--not ONE has grasped the concept in any way, shape, or form, and not ONE has been willing to engage in the exercise.
But you want them around anyway.
I don't think we are better off with all the leftist influence because I am old enough to remember when it pretty much didn't exist. And it was a far stronger, more stable, more congenial, and more positive them. That's why I want the divorce. They are NEVER going to allow the original American values to be at the forefront again, so let them make their own country to their own liking. And then let us conservatives use conservative values to fix the problems that we have.
You'll notice not ONE on the Left has yet said he or she wants a country of all Leftists. Not one who has suggested that a live and let live world would be preferable to one in which everybody is ripping everybody to shreds. That should be your first clue of the dynamics we are dealing with Sherlock.
(And yes, I have some flaming liberals among my friends and in my family. I'll miss them but there is no reason we can't visit back and forth while we each have the country we want.)
I would like a divorce from both parties.
The Democrats can keep their marxists, and their high taxes, and their big spending, and their "blame America first" mentality, and their losers who think they are in the 99 percent.
The Republicans can keep their birthers, and their wealth redistribution, and their big spending, and their "waterboarding is not torture" doublethink, and their dumbing down of American rhetoric.
And so forth and so on.
Neither one brings anything to the table worth keeping any more.
Seriously.
Oh geez. You want a third country? That's going to take a lot of work. So which choices on the list do you want for your country? Those assigned to the liberals? Or those assigned to the conservatives?
Fallacy of the excluded middle.
I'll take the middle.
You're speaking of the extremists and many of those who are liberal extremists on the board. They make up a small proportion of "liberalism" just as conservative extremists make up a small proportion of "conservatism". Sites such as this seem to draw out extremists due to the anonymity.
You're conservative. I suspect you have a liberal or two in your family. You know, that uncle that everyone loves but no one wants to claim. Would you really want to exile him to San Francisco or some other liberal haven in the new "America"?
Most of us have some qualities that can be considered liberal and others that are quite conservative. Are you going to chop everyone up and send the liberal "third" to San Francisco and the conservative two-thirds to Kalamazoo?
I found your "divorce agreement" to be funny in a cute kind of way, but I am certain that if you look hard enough, you will find the same kind of funny, cute piece of humor coming from the left and saying essentially the same thing.
As Americans we're better off with with each other as opposed to separate.
Immie
Really? Have you read the thread? You see conservatibve after conservative getting into the spirit of the thing, having fun with it, and agreeing to the concepts they would like to see prevail in this country.
And you see post after post after post from those on the left dredging up the same old straw men, complaining about the OP, denigrating conservatives, calling us idiots or worse, and trying to make this yet another school yard insult fest between left and right. Not one--count em--not ONE has grasped the concept in any way, shape, or form, and not ONE has been willing to engage in the exercise.
But you want them around anyway.
I don't think we are better off with all the leftist influence because I am old enough to remember when it pretty much didn't exist. And it was a far stronger, more stable, more congenial, and more positive them. That's why I want the divorce. They are NEVER going to allow the original American values to be at the forefront again, so let them make their own country to their own liking. And then let us conservatives use conservative values to fix the problems that we have.
You'll notice not ONE on the Left has yet said he or she wants a country of all Leftists. Not one who has suggested that a live and let live world would be preferable to one in which everybody is ripping everybody to shreds. That should be your first clue of the dynamics we are dealing with Sherlock.
(And yes, I have some flaming liberals among my friends and in my family. I'll miss them but there is no reason we can't visit back and forth while we each have the country we want.)
The humorless OP was an invitation for liberals to GTFO of your country, it was not that funny and rather insulting in its stereotypes and assumptions that conservatives own the flag and the constitution and the rights to the name United States of America even though all of the fantasy secessionism seems to be coming from the modern confederate party. I piss on your unfunny chain email and your insistence that the butt of the joke play along.
(Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a divorce agreement that has been circulating around the internet for awhile.)
To All My Dearest Beloved Liberal, Leftist, Social Progressive, Regressive, Marxist, and Liberation Theologist Friends:
Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound, it is time to divide up our common property and split the sheets so to speak. To wit I propose the following:
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
WHEREAS, we have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids and for sake of future generations, but the whole of this latest election process has revealed that our relationship has clearly run its course, and
WHEREAS, our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all,
THEREFORE let's end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is the suggested model separation agreement:
1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have California, Oregon, and Washington State. We'll take all the rest.
2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.
8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups.
9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood
11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.
14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
14. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Chevy Volt you can find.
15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.
16. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "God Bless America", and "The National Anthem."
17. You get "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".
18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.
Please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.
In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.
Sincerely,
Your Conservative Friends
P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
Really? Have you read the thread? You see conservatibve after conservative getting into the spirit of the thing, having fun with it, and agreeing to the concepts they would like to see prevail in this country.
And you see post after post after post from those on the left dredging up the same old straw men, complaining about the OP, denigrating conservatives, calling us idiots or worse, and trying to make this yet another school yard insult fest between left and right. Not one--count em--not ONE has grasped the concept in any way, shape, or form, and not ONE has been willing to engage in the exercise.
But you want them around anyway.
I don't think we are better off with all the leftist influence because I am old enough to remember when it pretty much didn't exist. And it was a far stronger, more stable, more congenial, and more positive them. That's why I want the divorce. They are NEVER going to allow the original American values to be at the forefront again, so let them make their own country to their own liking. And then let us conservatives use conservative values to fix the problems that we have.
You'll notice not ONE on the Left has yet said he or she wants a country of all Leftists. Not one who has suggested that a live and let live world would be preferable to one in which everybody is ripping everybody to shreds. That should be your first clue of the dynamics we are dealing with Sherlock.
(And yes, I have some flaming liberals among my friends and in my family. I'll miss them but there is no reason we can't visit back and forth while we each have the country we want.)
The humorless OP was an invitation for liberals to GTFO of your country, it was not that funny and rather insulting in its stereotypes and assumptions that conservatives own the flag and the constitution and the rights to the name United States of America even though all of the fantasy secessionism seems to be coming from the modern confederate party. I piss on your unfunny chain email and your insistence that the butt of the joke play along.
You have as much opportunity to negotiate your own settlement as much as anybody else. So you are contesting the divorce? And which of the items I suggested that the Left take on that list do you refuse to take? And why?
(Disclaimer: This is an adaptation of a divorce agreement that has been circulating around the internet for awhile.)
To All My Dearest Beloved Liberal, Leftist, Social Progressive, Regressive, Marxist, and Liberation Theologist Friends:
Since we are not going to get gasoline back to $1.50 per gallon and coffee to $2.00 per pound, it is time to divide up our common property and split the sheets so to speak. To wit I propose the following:
DIVORCE AGREEMENT
WHEREAS, we have stuck together since the late 1950s for the sake of the kids and for sake of future generations, but the whole of this latest election process has revealed that our relationship has clearly run its course, and
WHEREAS, our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all,
THEREFORE let's end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.
Here is the suggested model separation agreement:
1. Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by land mass apportioned according to numerical representation. You can have California, Oregon, and Washington State. We'll take all the rest.
2. We don't like redistributive taxes, so you can keep them.
3. You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
4. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA, and the military.
5. We'll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with all the wind, solar, and bio-diesel.
6. You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore, and Rosie O'Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.
7. We'll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart, and Wall Street.
8. You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless homeboys, hippies, druggies, illegal aliens, unions, peaceniks, war protesters, and the OSW groups.
9. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks.
10. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood
11. You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us or hit back when we are threatened or attacked.
14. You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness, and Shirley McLain. You can also have the U.N., but we will no longer be paying the bill.
13. We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
14. We'll keep the SUV's, pickup trucks, and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Chevy Volt you can find.
15. You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any doctors to deliver it. We'll continue to believe that healthcare is more affordable and more excellent in a free market system.
16. We'll keep "The Battle Hymn of the Republic", "God Bless America", and "The National Anthem."
17. You get "Imagine", "I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing", "Kum Ba Ya," or "We Are the World".
18. We'll practice trickledown economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.
19. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our history, our name and our constitution and our flag.
Please sign and pass it on if you will agree to this equitable distribution of property, values, and practices.
In the spirit of friendly parting, we will arrange for a community picnic in about 10 years to compare notes and see how each other are doing.
Sincerely,
Your Conservative Friends
P.S.: Also, please take Ted Turner, Sean Penn, Martin Sheen, Barbara Streisand, Alec Baldwin, and Jane Fonda with you.
P.S.S..: And you won't have to "Press 1 for English" when you call our country.
we were never married, fuck off.
They won't be unencumbered by taxation. They simply will be taxed fairly. A fee market, with bombing business will provide all the income our country will need. There won't be any exploitation of the workers, because conservative workers understand the relationship between employer and employee and will work to benefit each. Regulation is a brake on economic prosperity, and while some laws will remain in effect, the economy will run well. Social mobility is not given at the end of government, but at the effort and achievement of the individual, medical care will be much more affordable and we'll actually have doctors. bible based education outpaces government based education and if you still fail to comprehend, we're keeping the Constitution.Every time I see something like this I wonder how conservatives think they can stay free in a country of their own design where those in the ruling class are unencumbered by taxation, regulation and accountability and the freely exploited working class is on its own and works for practically nothing. No social mobility, no access to medical care, crappy bible based education and no way on earth to get a fair hearing of grievances.
