Dear Diary

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Colin, May 15, 2010.

  1. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    DEAR DIARY. DAY ONE

    I am all packed and ready to get on the cruise ship. I've packed all my pretty dresses and makeup. I'm really excited.
    _______________________________________________

    DEAR DIARY. DAY TWO

    We spent the entire day at sea. It was beautiful and we saw some whales and dolphins. What a wonderful vacation this has started to be. I met the Captain today and he seems like a very nice man.
    _______________________________________________

    DEAR DIARY. DAY THREE

    I spent some time in the pool today. I also did some shuffle boarding and hit some golf balls off the deck. The Captain invited me to join him at his table for dinner. I felt honoured and we had a wonderful time. He is a very attractive and attentive gentleman.
    _______________________________________________

    DEAR DIARY. DAY FOUR
    Went to the ship's casino ... did OK ... won about £80. The Captain invited me to have dinner with him in his state room. We had a luxurious meal complete with caviar and champagne. He asked me to stay the night but I declined. I told him there was no way I could be unfaithful to my husband.
    _______________________________________________

    DEAR DIARY. DAY FIVE

    Went back to the pool today and got a little sunburned. I decided to go to the piano bar and spend the rest of the day inside . The Captain saw me and bought me a couple of drinks. He really is a charming gentleman! He again asked me to visit him for the night and again I declined. He told me that if I didn't come to his cabin for the night, he would sink the ship. I was appalled.


    DEAR DIARY. DAY SIX

    I saved 1600 lives today... Twice
     
  2. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    Now that's an inside job.
     
  3. PoliticalChic
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    PoliticalChic Diamond Member

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    Usually I find your jokes uproarious, and know I'm taking this much too seriously, but with the following in the news so regularly, this one landed with a thud.

    "Until you or a family member experiences a sexual assault or rape during your overseas cruise, it is easy to forget that the risk of being assaulted on vacation is real. And it is similarly easy to forget that, when you leave U.S. waters on a cruise ship, you also leave behind some of the protections that you enjoy on land as a U.S. citizen.


    For example, in the event a sexual assault occurs at sea, there are no police onboard to immediately secure the crime scene and interview witnesses. A cruise ship (which may resemble a small city in population size) typically hires security personnel, but they do not necessarily have a law enforcement background, and you cannot assume that ship personnel will automatically secure the crime scene or collect evidence. They are employees of the cruise ships, not deputized law enforcement officials with the skill and responsibility to investigate crimes.

    If the victim is a U.S. citizen, the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) will be involved in the investigation, but another nation (or nations) may have jurisdiction as well. (The typical cruise ship is foreign flagged or foreign registered, and it may be outside of U.S. waters when the crime occurred.) Our federal criminal code, the laws of the other nation(s), and international law will determine the FBI’s legal authority to respond to and/or investigate the crime. Due to such jurisdictional complexities, the FBI often will not board the ship until it docks, or is about to dock, at the nearest port. In the meantime, hours or days may have elapsed since you first reported the crime."

    Crime on Cruise Ships
     
  4. dilloduck
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    dilloduck Diamond Member

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    Party pooper :lol:
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 1
  5. editec
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    editec Mr. Forgot-it-All

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    Better to go down with the captain than down with the ship, I suppose.
     
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  6. Colin
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    Colin Gold Member

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    :eusa_eh:
     

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