Dealing with Death...

Discussion in 'Health and Lifestyle' started by mal, Nov 3, 2009.

  1. mal
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    mal Diamond Member

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    So it's been (1) Year since my Pa Died... Today. I was at the Baby Doctor with my Wife, Newborn Son and our Toddler for the 3 Year Checkup.

    I Knew my Pa was having Stomach Issues, but we Thought it was just the Flu.

    It was not Uncommon for him to go to the ER because of his Age (84), and I was heading that way when I Kids Appointment was over to Check on him.

    The Last Time I saw him Alive was the Day Prior on my Daughter's 3rd Birthday.

    The Old Ox went out and Mowed his Lawn after we Celebrated for her.

    Here are some Pics of my Dad with my Kids Shortly before he Passed:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    And here is my Ma and Pa at the Party where I Asked my Best Friend to Marry me... And I was Lucky enough that she said Yes:

    [​IMG]

    My Ma Passed the Day After Thanksgiving that same Month...

    I Miss them Both Greatly.

    Rest in Peace Mom and Dad...

    That is what I Wrote about them both at the Time...

    Anyway, Thought I'd Share some of my History on Loss, since it's Heavy on me right now.

    :(

    peace...
     
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  2. KittenKoder
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    KittenKoder Senior Member

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    Life is suffering, pain, starvation, and fatigue ...

    ... death is the release of these things, those who pass no longer hurt.

    Let their influence while alive effect you ...

    ... but rejoice for them passing as gratitude for giving you those lessons.

    ;)
     
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  3. Mr. H.
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    Mr. H. Diamond Member

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    Very poignant. RIP to both your folks.

    "Having a Party with the Angels" - kids can say the most beautiful things in these situations.

    My mother never met my youngest son. She died right before he was born. I took him to the cemetary when he was about 3 and I was feeling really down about that. He said "that's ok dad- she can see me now".
     
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  4. JenyEliza
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    JenyEliza Princess of Rhetoric

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    You know what, Mal? You're hit with the trifecta when it comes to your parents loss.

    1. They both went to God one right after the other

    2.. They did it at the holidays.

    Your holidays will always be a little fucked up.....and you'll start feeling maudlin right around Halloween.....straight on through New Years. That's just how this grieving shit works. Sucks, doesn't it?

    Do you and the wife and kids carry on any of their holiday traditions in your own home? What about starting some new ones that the kids can join in on? Like maybe seting PopPop and MeMaw (or whatever you called them) a plate at the table for T-giving. Or setting out their picture on the sideboard so you can remember them as you and the kids talk about all the things good and great that you've been blessed with--because of them.

    I know these sound sappy and sentimental, but I relate these idea to you because of Lori Ann Smith (you know who I'm talking about, right?). Her family did some pretty neat things to keep her memory alive....even 35 years later, they continue their traditions so that she is not forgotten--especially at the holidays.

    Sending you, your wee-ones and the wife all my love and prayers for the best possible second holiday season without the folks.

    *love and hugs*

    Jen
     
  5. JenyEliza
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    JenyEliza Princess of Rhetoric

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    Awesome words, Kitten! Thanks for sharing.....

    *hug*
     
  6. JenyEliza
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    JenyEliza Princess of Rhetoric

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    Know what? She can still see him now too! She really can. She checks in on you frequently. She was a worry-wart--wasn't she? She worries about you too. Still thinks you need someone to tell you to put your coat on or you'll catch your death of pneumonia. She leaves you clues that she's been around. Pay attention and you will know what they are. For instance, do you ever catch a whiff of her favorite cologne/perfume out of the blue? Yep...it's her.

    She loves you and your family very much. She LOVES YOU ALL, and will never leave you.....and she told you that.

    Jeny


    (ps. sorry, don't know where that stuff came from, but I'm pretty sure its all true) :D *hug*
     
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    Last edited: Nov 3, 2009
  7. xotoxi
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    xotoxi Platinum Member

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    Thank you for sharing.

    Sometimes the cycle of life knocks you off your feet.
     
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  8. xotoxi
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    xotoxi Platinum Member

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    I suppose the silver lining about losing your parents around the holidays are that the sadness that you have for their loss can be tempered by the joy that you experience through your kids as they are excited for the holidays.

    But, you had some good suggestions, Jen.
     
  9. JenyEliza
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    JenyEliza Princess of Rhetoric

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    Sometimes the cycle of like completely kicks you in the balls and lands you on your ass, X.

    Seriously....Mal when through hell this time last year. One, two, sucker punch losing his parents within a month of each other.

    Mal got kicked in the balls, left in the dirt, the Angel of Death kicked him in the ribs, the balls and the head....left him for the vultures to pick over so he could come back for him.

    By God's Grace, and with the help of his little ones, he survived. But it was pretty rough days last year.

    Im hoping time is easing up on the pain.....

    Love and prayers to you Mal.....let the little ones show you the way. They will.
     
  10. JenyEliza
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    JenyEliza Princess of Rhetoric

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    Thanks, X.

    My kids (who are almost 15) and I have some sappy traditions too.

    Like we ALWAYS have a birthday cake for Jesus after Christmas dinner. Complete with candles and balloons, we throw Him a birthday party. I started this tradition when they were about 3 and birthday parties were all the rage with them. I wanted them to understand WHY we celebrated Christmas and that it wasn't all about THEM getting stuff.

    They STILL want to pick out a cake (or bake one) this year. We just talked about it the other night.

    They still have all of their grandparents, so we haven't gotten to the stage Mal has. But, if we do, we'll probably put out plates at the table or pictures or something to make sure their grandparents are gone but not forgotten.

    I may seem like a rough around the edges bitch---but actually I'm sappy, sentimental and overly emotional when it comes to this stuff. ;)
     

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