David Letterman's Top 10 Reasons to Vote Democrat

Discussion in 'Politics' started by ItsOnlyMe, Dec 29, 2013.

  1. ItsOnlyMe
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    ItsOnlyMe Member

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    1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.


    2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companys' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.


    3. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.


    4. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.


    5. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

    I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that get police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.


    6. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.


    7. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away the Social Security from those who paid into it.


    8. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should NOT be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

    9. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.


    AND THE NUMBER ONE REASON WHY I VOTED DEMOCRAT:


    10. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil, to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher or fish.
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  2. chesswarsnow
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    chesswarsnow "SASQUATCH IS WATCHING"

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    Sorry bout that,


    1. That just about wraps it up,...could of squeezed in something about Al Gore and global warming thou.


    Regards,
    SirJamesofTexas
  3. occupied
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    occupied Silver Member

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    David Letterman? Sounds more like David Duke. Also number one items are usually preceded by a 1 rather than a ten, just sayin'.
  4. Sarah G
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    Sarah G Find the Joy Supporting Member

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    First off, the top ten list is written from number 10 to number 1, Stupid.
  5. Tank
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    Tank VIP Member

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    11. I voted democrat because I want to be rewarded for my skin color
  6. 1776
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    1776 Anti-Liberal

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    Vote Democrap if you are insane, stupid or lazy...and feel weak and inferior to others.
  7. The Professor
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    The Professor VIP Member Supporting Member

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    Well, that was the FIRST sign. The second one is that anyone who knows Letterman will realize he doesn't talk that way. Ever.
  8. ScreamingEagle
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    ScreamingEagle Senior Member

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    ah...the 'intellectual left' speaking....:cuckoo:

    who's David Letterman anyway....? oh that's right....some late show hack....THAT HE'S MAKING FUN OF....

    [​IMG]
  9. PredFan
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    PredFan Gold Member

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    And the #1 reason I know that that wasn't written by David Letterman is:

    Letterman is a left wing hack former funnyman.
  10. 1776
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    1776 Anti-Liberal

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    Letterman....Ball State grad, enough said about his lack of intelligence.
  11. Toro
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    Toro Gold Member

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    That wasn't funny at all.

    It's not like one can't find something funny to say about Democrats, i.e. "I'm not a member of any organized political party, I'm a Democrat." They offer a never-ending treasure trove of things to laugh at.

    But that was really lame.
  12. Borillar
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    Borillar VIP Member

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    My top 10 reasons (also guaranteed to get a laugh, or maybe a cry):
    10. McCain
    9. Palin
    8. Rubio
    7. Romney
    6. Gingrich
    5. Santorum
    4. Cain
    3. Perry
    2. Bachman
    1. Bush
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  13. Sallow
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    Sallow The Big Bad Wolf. Supporting Member

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    Link this..
  14. ItsOnlyMe
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    ItsOnlyMe Member

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    I didn't write it! But as typical liberal, THAT's all you can say about it. The truth hurts, don't it?
  15. ItsOnlyMe
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    ItsOnlyMe Member

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    Ok, From SodaHead: Anyway, this about sums it up pretty good. Liberals can't take of themselves, they are gutless, and basically are concerned with losing the right to marry their male neighbor if they are male or female if they are female, same gender anyhow, getting an abortion or being able to legalize marijuana. That's it. And getting handouts from the government.

    But This list is not it!
    The Top Ten list that you WON'T see on Letterman -


    When your
    friends can't explain why they voted for Democrats, give them this list.
    Then


    maybe they can then pick their reason.






    10.
    I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon
    of gas are obscene but the government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15%
    isn't.










    9. I voted Democrat because I believe the government will do a better
    job of spending the money I earn than I
    would.





    8. I voted Democrat because freedom of speech is fine as long as
    nobody is offended by it.





    7. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun,
    and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers
    and thieves.




    6.
    I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will
    rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in ten
    years if I don't start driving a Prius.




    5.
    I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about the slaughter of millions
    of babies through abortion so long as we keep all death row inmates
    alive.





    4. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to
    free health care, education, and Social Security
    benefits.





    3. I voted Democrat because I believe that business should not be
    allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the
    rest away to the government for redistribution as the democrats see
    fit.





    2. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite
    the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never
    get their agendas past the voters.




    1.
    Aw never mind. I'll keep my Freedom, my God and my Guns, and you can just
    keep the Change.
  16. Borillar
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    Borillar VIP Member

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    What does it say about republicans? People would rather vote for Democrats despite their problems than vote for a repug? That repugs are as likeable as telephone solicitors, used car salesmen, and infectious lepers?
  17. BobPlumb
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    BobPlumb VIP Member

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    I liked letterman when he was dropping watermelons off of high rise buildings. His stupid human tricks are pretty good also. I like Leno' monologue better. That said, it is not wise to establish your politics from comedians.
  18. Sarah G
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    Sarah G Find the Joy Supporting Member

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