Delta4Embassy
Gold Member
Something I've long wanted to write a bit about is dating. In the MTV era, what passes for dating seems to involve drinking alcohol, yelling and running around, then passing out in bed next to soemone. 
That's not dating, that's making mistakes.
Instead, something worth trying is dating like when we were young. When we offered to walk someone home from school. And then the next time we got together shyly asking to hold hands. Self-conscious about our sweaty palms hurriedly wiping it on our jeans before taking a hold of their's. Matching our stride to their's. Constantly looking over at them smiling awkwardly.
Walking them home the second time wondering if they wanna hug or even kiss. Not wanting to initiate it for fear of rejection, yet inwardly leaping for joy if it happens. Placing our hands on their hips for a kiss, or hugging while holding our lower bodies away afraid they'll notice... Saying good-bye and making casual plans for another get-together. Afraid to even say "date."
Third time together offering a hug hello. Really just wanting an excuse to touch and hold them again. Secretly overjoyed at the opportunity while outwardly portraying it as an unremarkable social convention. "I hug all my friends." Of course you would if you had more than the one... Buying them a meal, knowing the one who asks for the date typically pays. Summoning every tv show you've ever seen these sorts of dates happen on remembering the details and what to do. Holding doors open for them, pulling out their chair for them, rising when they do. Chivalry.
In a time when "dating" has become excessively casual, I think a nod to ages past can be a very good thing. If ya just wanna fool around you're not actually dating. But if you're making a date with someone then I think dating proper is how it should go. And remembering my own experiences when a kid I think I'd really enjoy those experiences again as an adult. Especially considering that now there's a lot more to look fowards to if things go really well. For people who date a lot, standing out from the herd is advantageous. And many people enjoy reconnecting with their inner-teenager.
I think as adults we've lost some of the better things about dating trading them for more things. When you're limited in how much fun you can have with someone it's the little things you tend to notice and enjoy best. If you can go straight to bed at the end of a first date, you tend to focus on that particular goal, as opposed to enjoying the lesser joys of being with someone. As with holding their hand, or hugging and kissing. When you're looking fowards to the funnest stuff, in many ways that's even better than actually getting it. Anticipation's better than aquisition.
That's not dating, that's making mistakes. Instead, something worth trying is dating like when we were young. When we offered to walk someone home from school. And then the next time we got together shyly asking to hold hands. Self-conscious about our sweaty palms hurriedly wiping it on our jeans before taking a hold of their's. Matching our stride to their's. Constantly looking over at them smiling awkwardly.
Walking them home the second time wondering if they wanna hug or even kiss. Not wanting to initiate it for fear of rejection, yet inwardly leaping for joy if it happens. Placing our hands on their hips for a kiss, or hugging while holding our lower bodies away afraid they'll notice...
Saying good-bye and making casual plans for another get-together. Afraid to even say "date." Third time together offering a hug hello. Really just wanting an excuse to touch and hold them again. Secretly overjoyed at the opportunity while outwardly portraying it as an unremarkable social convention. "I hug all my friends." Of course you would if you had more than the one...
Buying them a meal, knowing the one who asks for the date typically pays. Summoning every tv show you've ever seen these sorts of dates happen on remembering the details and what to do. Holding doors open for them, pulling out their chair for them, rising when they do. Chivalry. In a time when "dating" has become excessively casual, I think a nod to ages past can be a very good thing. If ya just wanna fool around you're not actually dating. But if you're making a date with someone then I think dating proper is how it should go. And remembering my own experiences when a kid I think I'd really enjoy those experiences again as an adult. Especially considering that now there's a lot more to look fowards to if things go really well.
For people who date a lot, standing out from the herd is advantageous. And many people enjoy reconnecting with their inner-teenager. I think as adults we've lost some of the better things about dating trading them for more things. When you're limited in how much fun you can have with someone it's the little things you tend to notice and enjoy best. If you can go straight to bed at the end of a first date, you tend to focus on that particular goal, as opposed to enjoying the lesser joys of being with someone. As with holding their hand, or hugging and kissing. When you're looking fowards to the funnest stuff, in many ways that's even better than actually getting it. Anticipation's better than aquisition.
