Dammit, Rep Me!

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Annie, Aug 31, 2005.

  1. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    J/K I just got this and it's way too appropriate:

    21st CENTURY TEACHER APPLICANT



    Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with
    all those kids and fill their every waking moment with a love for learning.
    Not only that, I'm supposed to instill a sense of pride in their ethnicity,
    behaviorally modify disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse and
    T-shirt messages.

    I am to fight the war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, check
    their backpacks for guns and raise their self-esteem. I'm to teach them
    patriotism, good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, how and where to
    register to vote, how to balance a checkbook and how to apply for a job. I
    am to check their heads occasionally for lice, maintain a safe environment,
    recognize signs of potential antisocial behavior, offer advice, write
    letters of recommendation for student employment and scholarships, encourage
    respect for the cultural diversity of others, and, oh yeah, always make sure
    that I give the girls in my class 50 percent of my attention.

    I'm required by my contract to be working on my own time summer and evenings
    at my own expense toward advance certification and a master's degree; and
    after school, I am to attend committee and faculty meetings and participate
    in staff development training to maintain my employment status. I am to be
    a paragon of virtue larger than life, such that my very presence will awe my
    students into being obedient and respectful of authority. I am to pledge
    allegiance to supporting family values, a return to the basics, and to my
    current administration. I am to incorporate technology into the learning,
    and monitor all Web sites while providing a personal relationship with each
    student. I am to decide who might be potentially dangerous and/or liable to
    commit crimes in school or who is possibly being abused, and I can be sent
    to jail for not mentioning these suspicions.

    I am to make sure all students pass the state and federally mandated testing
    and all classes, whether or not they attend school on a regular basis or
    complete any of the work assigned. Plus, I am expected to make sure that all
    of the students with handicaps are guaranteed a free and equal education,
    regardless of their mental or physical handicap. I am to communicate
    frequently with each student's parent by letter, phone, newsletter and grade
    card.

    I'm to do all of this with just a piece of chalk, a computer, a few books, a
    bulletin board, a 45 minute more-or-less plan time and a big smile, all on a
    starting salary that qualifies my family for food stamps in many states. Is
    that all? And you want me to do all of this and expect me . . . . .

    NOT TO PRAY?!
     
    • Thank You! Thank You! x 4
  2. no1tovote4
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    no1tovote4 VIP Member

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    I can't rep you, I have to spread it around some more.
     
  3. Gunny
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    Gunny Gold Member

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    Same boat. :scratch:
     
  4. Abbey Normal
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    Abbey Normal Senior Member

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    Yes, Ma'am! :salute: :D
     
  5. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    LOL! Thanks. Today is a better one, it's about time! :clap1:
     

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