Curtain Rods

Discussion in 'Humor' started by HGROKIT, Aug 16, 2004.

  1. HGROKIT
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    HGROKIT Active Member

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    After 17 years of marriage, a man dumped his wife for his young
    secretary. His new girlfriend demanded that she wanted to live in the
    couple's multimillion dollar home, and since the man's lawyers were a
    little better, he prevailed.

    He gave his now ex-wife just 3 days to move out. She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes,crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things. On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay. When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells, dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtain rods. She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

    When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the
    first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried
    everything; cleaning & mopping and airing the place out. Vents were
    Checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners
    were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas
    canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the
    end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing
    worked. People stopped coming over to visit... Repairmen refused to work
    in the house...The maid quit...Finally, they could not take the stench
    any longer and decided to move. A month later, even though they had cut
    their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.
    Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

    Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

    The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her
    the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she
    missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce
    settlement in exchange for getting the house back... Knowing his ex-wife
    had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about
    1/10th of what the house had been worth... But only if she were to sign
    the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour, his lawyers
    delivered the paperwork. A week later, the man and his new girlfriend
    stood smirking as they watched the moving company pack everything to
    take to their new home...including the curtain rods.
     
  2. nycflasher
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    nycflasher Active Member

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    :ssex:
     
  3. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    That was great! :D :beer:
     
  4. Sandy73
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    Sandy73 Guest

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    :laugh: :laugh:
     
  5. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    I'll tell you a TRUE story on that same line.

    A woman told her husband that she wanted a divorce. She was going away that weekend with her lover & hubby was to be gone by the time they returned. She wanted their home, everything.

    The husband was VERY distraught. So as a final fairwell, the man turned the heat on inside the house almost as hot as it would go. Then he killed himself. A dead body, in a hot house, three days......
     
  6. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    sick Joz, sick. Wish it was my ex.... :funnyface
     
  7. Joz
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    Joz Senior Member

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    :rotflmao:
     

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