CSI: Tucson

Discussion in 'Humor' started by boedicca, Jan 19, 2011.

  1. boedicca
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    boedicca Uppity Water Nymph Supporting Member

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    J'adore Iowahawk.

    Enjoy:

    Fade in. Chaotic supermarket parking lot, strewn with bodies in aftermath of shooting spree. Amid lights and sirens, a bearded man in black windbreaker and sunglasses ducks under the yellow police tape.

    COUNTY DEPUTY
    Sir -- sir! Please remain behind the cordon. This is an active crime scene investigation.

    KRUGMAN (flashes New York Times OpEd badge)
    I know. Krugman, CSI. This is my partner Lt. Matthews.

    MATTHEWS
    Who's in charge here? And where are the donuts?

    DEPUTY
    He's over there sir -- Sheriff Dupnik. He's in charge of the donuts, too.

    Krugman and Matthews cross the parking lot, deftly stepping over sheet-covered corpses

    DUPNIK
    Krugman. Matthews. I was wondering when you two would get here. We've already booked a perp. Cruller?

    MATTHEWS
    No thanks, I'll take those two bear claws though.

    KRUGMAN
    What do you got with white icing? And what do you got on the perp?

    DUPNIK
    White male, 22, close cropped hair. Goes by the name of ‘Lucidfer Matrix Dreambrain.’ Another typical college Republican.

    CSI DETECTIVE MARKOS "KOS" MOULITSAS
    Captain! Captain Krugman! I think you should see this.

    On the asphalt outside supermarket, the CSI squad gathers around a spilled bag of groceries outlined in chalk.

    KRUGMAN
    Good work rookie. Well, well, well. What do we have here?

    Crouching down, Krugman picks up a box of Lipton tea bags with the tip of his pencil.

    KRUGMAN (whipping off sunglasses)
    If I know my demand curves, I’d say our young Republican wasn't acting alone.

    Cue opening credit sequence

    THE WHO
    BRAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH!

    Fast-paced action montage of CSI team shaking test tubes, spellchecking, studying tea bags under microscope, arresting cactus ...


    Read the Whole Thing:

    iowahawk: CSI: Tucson
     
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  2. Ragnar
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    Ragnar <--- Pic is not me

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    "It's not the heat. It's the stupidity" lol
     
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