~Crisco~

[Dabs]

There was an old gal wandering around the supermarket
calling out, "Crisco, Cri-i-i-i sssssssco!"

Soon a store clerk approached. "Ma'am, the Crisco is in aisle D."

The old lady replied, "Oh, I'm not looking for the cooking
stuff, I am calling my husband."

"Your husband's name is Crisco?"

The old woman answered, "Oh, no, no, no. I only call him that
when we're out in public."

"Well, what do you call him when you are at home?"

"Lard ass."