Crankers against Gays!!! (GOP Outreach 157-D)

[Statistikhengst]

Jordan Haskins (R), Christian by day, CRANKER by night!!

GOP Cranking Enthusiast Tells Michiganders To Flee Homosexual Agenda Right Wing Watch

A Michigan Republican running for an open seat in the state house, who briefly dropped out of the race after it was revealed that he had a record of criminal convictions for breaking into cars and masturbating to the sound of the engines, or “cranking,” told residents this month to flee the state if the legislature approves an LGBT-inclusive nondiscrimination bill.

Let's deepen that cranking thing for a minute, shall we:

Felony convictions linked to sexual fetish haunt me Saginaw state House candidate says MLive.com

Haskins admitted to police that, on both occasions, he broke into the yard where vehicles were parked, incident reports from the Saginaw County Sheriff's Department show. He said he pulled spark plug wires on sheriff, mosquito control and other vehicles parked there.

"Jordan would remove the spark plug wires and sit in the car and masturbate while the motor was sparking and making noises," the police report states.

So, an ex-con who whacks-off in cars to the sounds of car engines is a GOP candidate for the Michigan State House.

I am sure that Jesus may be crying somewhere.

So, this dude is telling Michigananders to flee the state because of "teh ghey":

PrideSource - GOP Hopeful Wants Christians Fleeing MI If Gays Get Civil Rights

If the state wants to trample religious freedom, we go somewhere else where our values are welcome," the candidate wrote on his Facebook page Oct. 8. "Michigan loses tax money, economic performance, jobs, etc. if they choose to be entrenched with the homosexual agenda, it's time for conservative christians (sic) to vote with their feet and their dollars.

Benghazi!!

Ebola!!!

Gheys, gheys, gheys!!!!





It's nice to know that the GOP is fielding such serious candidates this year. Yes, between the Palins screaming "fuck" every 5th word and this turd spooging on spark-plugs, the moral majority should be having a heart attack right about now.



So, enjoy this one, folks.

 

[Stephanie]

oh brother

 

[Old Rocks]

Now, now, the boy was just having a little fun. Boys will be boys, especially GOP boys.,

 

[Luddly Neddite]

oh brother

So, Stephanie wants to ban Stat because he reported news?

StoopidStuff just gotta Stoopid.

 

[Moonglow]

oh brother

So, Stephanie wants to ban Stat because he reported news?

StoopidStuff just gotta Stoopid.

Now, now, Steph is so uptight she licks the floor clean at church...

 

[whitehall]

I guess Media Matters monitors the facebook of every GOP candidate in the entire Country and to top it off they must follow him/her on Sunday to see if they attend Christian church. Democrats are sounding more like Nazis every day.

 

[Iceweasel]

It's only news if it can be used to smear the right. When is the last time you heard "Democrat sex scandal..."?

 

[Statistikhengst]

I guess Media Matters monitors the facebook of every GOP candidate in the entire Country and to top it off they must follow him/her on Sunday to see if they attend Christian church. Democrats are sounding more like Nazis every day.

That was some really delightful bullshit. Carry on.

 

[Skylar]

Now, now, the boy was just having a little fun. Boys will be boys, especially GOP boys.,

Oh, c'mon. Who here hasn't broken into a county vehicle, cracked open a steering column and attached a car battery to their nutsack?

Boys will be boys indeed.

 

[Skylar]

I guess Media Matters monitors the facebook of every GOP candidate in the entire Country and to top it off they must follow him/her on Sunday to see if they attend Christian church. Democrats are sounding more like Nazis every day.

Yeah, because the Nazis were all about Facebook.

 

[Statistikhengst]

Now, now, the boy was just having a little fun. Boys will be boys, especially GOP boys.,

Oh, c'mon. Who here hasn't broken into a county vehicle, cracked open a steering column and attached a car battery to their nutsack?

Boys will be boys indeed.

Ahhh, Republican Family values.

If you can keep it in your pants, then cum on your spark plug.

 

[Iceweasel]

I guess Media Matters monitors the facebook of every GOP candidate in the entire Country and to top it off they must follow him/her on Sunday to see if they attend Christian church. Democrats are sounding more like Nazis every day.

Yeah, because the Nazis were all about Facebook.

....whoooosh...
They were pretty good at keeping tabs on their citizens.

 

[Statistikhengst]

It's only news if it can be used to smear the right. When is the last time you heard "Democrat sex scandal..."?

Tissue?

 

[mdk]

I guess Media Matters monitors the facebook of every GOP candidate in the entire Country and to top it off they must follow him/her on Sunday to see if they attend Christian church. Democrats are sounding more like Nazis every day.

One doesn't need Facebook. This story was on the local news and in the local paper as well. I became aware of this story because it was sent to me by my Aunt that lives in the area. She thought is was funny and she is right. This guy is a loon and doesn't have a chance of winning the seat.

 

[mdk]

It's only news if it can be used to smear the right. When is the last time you heard "Democrat sex scandal..."?

Oh please, It must be hard typing with that cross on your back. It's an absurd story with an equally absurd candidate. Instead of deflecting, why not just come call this guy a loon? Does party loyalty matter that much to you?

 

[whitehall]

It wasn't long ago that we had a jerkoff president who left his DNA on Monica's dress and the radical left thought sodomy in the Oval Office was nobody's business except the sodomites. Is being a Christian worse than being a pervert? Why are the left wing nazis making a point about the man's religious affiliation?

 

[Statistikhengst]

It wasn't long ago that we had a jerkoff president who left his DNA on Monica's dress and the radical left thought sodomy in the Oval Office was nobody's business except the sodomites. Is being a Christian worse than being a pervert? Why are the left wing nazis making a point about the man's religious affiliation?

Tissue.

So, having sex with a woman is equal to jacking off to the sound of a a car motor.

Ok.... that's weird.

 

[mdk]

It wasn't long ago that we had a jerkoff president who left his DNA on Monica's dress and the radical left thought sodomy in the Oval Office was nobody's business except the sodomites. Is being a Christian worse than being a pervert? Why are the left wing nazis making a point about the man's religious affiliation?

Sweet deflections. I don't care one lick what faith he follows. He has a decently long history of criminal activity and he thinks he can make it all go away by railing against gays. Whys are you so resistant to calling this guy a loon? Clearly he is nutty but you've decided to deflect away to Democrats. Why is that?

 

[g5000]

I thought I had heard of every kink there is, but...holy shit! Masturbating to a sparking engine?

How does one get that kind of twist?

 

[Statistikhengst]

I thought I had heard of every kink there is, but...holy shit! Masturbating to a sparking engine?

How does one get that kind of twist?

Well, being a Republican seems like a start down that slippery slope.