Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist for the Miami Herald. On the subject of Colonoscopies................ A physician claimed that the following are actual comments made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their colonoscopies: >> 1. 'Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before! >> 2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?' >> 3. 'Can you hear me NOW?' >> 4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?' >> 5. 'You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married.' >> 6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?' >> 7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...' >> 8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!' >> 9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit! >> 10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.' >> 11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?' >> 12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.' >> >> And the best one of all. >> 13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up >> there?