Christmas fruitcake recipe

Discussion in 'Food & Wine' started by ScreamingEagle, Dec 3, 2005.

  1. ScreamingEagle
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    ScreamingEagle Gold Member

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    Fruitcake
    A friend e-mailed me this recipe. Also good with rum.

    Ingredients

    1 cup water
    1 cup sugar
    4 large eggs
    2 cups dried fruit
    1 teaspoon baking soda
    1 teaspoon salt
    1 cup brown sugar
    3 tablespoons lemon juice
    1 cup nuts
    1 gallon whiskey

    Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter in a large, fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixer. Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner.

    If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares?

    Check the whiskey. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find. Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.

    Throw the bowl out of the window. Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.

    Who likes fruitcake anyway?

    Musical vershon: http://www.dobhran.com/humor/GRhumor10.htm
     
  2. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    :rotflmao:
     
  3. Annie
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    Annie Diamond Member

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    LOL, when I saw the title, I thought, 'humor', now I'm sure of it! :laugh:
     
  4. ScreamingEagle
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    ScreamingEagle Gold Member

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    Guess it should have gone under the humor section....but I'll expand here a little upon the topic to keep it in the Food & Wine section:

    Did you know that there is a Fruitcake Subculture Conspiracy? A fruitcake Underground?

    Also, did you know there is even a (gasp!) "Church of the Besotted Fruitcake"? :laugh:
    http://forums.gardenweb.com/forums/load/harvest/msg101344176362.html
     
  5. Stephanie
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    Stephanie Diamond Member Supporting Member

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    Way too funny!! I can't stand fruitcake...yuk
    SE your on a roll... :laugh:
     
  6. Hagbard Celine
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    Hagbard Celine Senior Member

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    Christmas fruitcake recipe...watch the O'Reilly Factor on Christmas, add water. Voila!
     

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