Chinese torments

Discussion in 'Humor' started by padisha emperor, Apr 17, 2006.

  1. padisha emperor

    padisha emperor Senior Member

    Sep 6, 2004
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    Aix-en-Provence, France
    (I translate it from french, apologize :) )

    It's the night, a cold and rainy night, somewhere in a lost area...A man is walking, alone, hungry, thirsty... After a long walk, he see a little house in a plain, out of the forest.

    "God be bless, he thinks, i will have a roof for the night !"

    Then, he walks to the house, knocks on the wood door, and an old chinese man open to him; He looks like an old mandarine, with long a fine moustaches and beard, and with very long nails...

    "Hello, say our traveller, can I sleep here for the night ? i'm lost and hungry".
    - "Yes, you can, answer the chinese man, but with one condition : don't touch my daughter, or you'll know the 3 most horribles chinese torments."
    - "No problem, sir, don't worry, thank you very much"...he looks the father and imagines a very bad daughter, without beauty.

    The 2 men go to the diner room, and begin th eat. then, a woman with a fantastic beauty and a perfect beauty walks to the table, and bring the food. She's the daughter of the old chinese.

    "Boy ! thinks our hero, that's a nice girl !"
    But he knows that if he touches her, he would have problems...So, he decides to stop to think to her and eat.

    The end of the diner comes, and the chinese man shows to our hero his room for the night. The traveller enters in, and begin to try to sleep. But in the near room, he hears some noise, like erotic moanings...he stands up, open the door, walks in the corridor, and then see the daughter on her bed, in a very sexy night dress...

    "I can't do that, I don't want to have the 3 most detestables chinese torments..."
    So he makes a U-turn, and decides to sleep. But the picture of the daughter is in his head, and he can't sleep.
    "After all, the old man would never know what I do, he's sleeping, and i can make it without any noise...."
    So, he joins the girl in her bed, and begins to fuck her, in all the positions, a very very hot night, he never had such orgasm !
    silently, on the little morning, while the father is still sleeping, the traveller joins back his room and sleep, happy.

    But a few hours after, he wakes up, with a pain on his belly...he opens the eyes, and see an enormous stone putted on him.
    There is on the stone a paper, with something writting :

    "first chinese torment : stone on body".

    "Fuck ! how did the old to know ???....anyway, it's not a so horrible torment...these chinese torments are a legend...."
    So, he stands up, takes the stone, and throws it through the opended window.

    but then, he see an other paper, on the shutters of the window...

    "second chinese torment : stone hung with a twist at the left testicle"

    "Oh shit !"...The guy see the stone falling, imagine the scene, and decides to jump with the stone...he prefers to have a breaked leg instead to be an half-man...

    And then, he see on the grass of the garden, under him, during his fall, a third paper, bigger...

    "third chinese torment : right testicle hung at the bed....."

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