Cheating & Infidelity

[Diana1180]

It is very risky and that's why its not for me. I don't much like to share either lol.

I will admit to dabbling in that lifestyle with one guy I dated. It didn't work. Mainly because he wasn't honest about it...but also because I just couldn't do it mentally.

But I do know couples that have done it for years and it has worked. Whether its swinging or an open relationship..its not for everyone, but I don't begrudge the people that it does work for. But that's not cheating, because youre supposed to be honest and open about it. Your partner is supposed to know about who your sleeping with and is ok with it.

Those who have nothing to hide..hide nothing. Once you have to lie...its over.

 

[Delta4Embassy]

It is very risky and that's why its not for me. I don't much like to share either lol.

I will admit to dabbling in that lifestyle with one guy I dated. It didn't work. Mainly because he wasn't honest about it...but also because I just couldn't do it mentally.

But I do know couples that have done it for years and it has worked. Whether its swinging or an open relationship..its not for everyone, but I don't begrudge the people that it does work for. But that's not cheating, because youre supposed to be honest and open about it. Your partner is supposed to know about who your sleeping with and is ok with it.

Those who have nothing to hide..hide nothing. Once you have to lie...its over.

Think the key to whether an open or otherwise non-monogamous relationship works is it beginning that way. If it tries to go from mongamous to non-monogamous it's not going to work. If you go into it with that though it can work. Doesn't always but stands a much better chance.

Studies have shown that emphasis on monogamy is a symptom of a larger problem a society has. And when society values monogamy it has numerous other problems all working against that society's success. And when monogamy isn't valued and people are freer to seek sexual satisfaction outside the primary relationship they do much better.

"About [60] percent of marriages in the United States now end in divorce, and an even higher percentage of couples have experienced extramarital affairs. This suggests that something is basically wrong with the traditional concept of universal monogamy. When viewed in connection with the cross-cultural evidence of the physical deprivations, violence, and warfare associated with monogamy, the need to create a more pluralistic system of marriage becomes clear. Contemporary experiments with communal living and group marriage are attempting to meet basic needs that remain unfulfilled in the isolation of a nuclear marriage. We must seriously consider new options, such as extended families comprised of two or three couples who share values and lifestyles. By sharing the benefits and responsibilities of child rearing, such families could provide an affectionate and varied environment for children as well as adults, and thereby reduce the incidence of child abuse and runaways."
BODY PLEASURE AND THE ORIGINS OF VIOLENCE By James W. Prescott

 

[Diana1180]

I feel that is a very sad thing when you cant expect your spouse to be faithful to you. It says a lot about this day and age. People don't want to have to be honest, they want their cake and eat it too. I have been single a very long time, mainly due to the fact that any man I meet only wants a sexual relationship with no commitment. At 38, I know I am no spring chicken, but I am not past my prime either lol. Everyone is out for themselves.... and to me..thats sad.

We wonder why we have raised a generation of spoiled entitled children. I have a 16 year old daughter, so I know all about entitled, trust me. Trying to teach her that there are good honest faithful men out there is not easy. (And yes, I know, woman nowadays aren't much better)

 

[Muhammed]

That 9 month thing...

men do realize you don't have to be married to have babies, right?

but I think I get what you are saying, they want a family but still get strange on the side... cake & eat.... admirable (not) and then men wonder why women call them pigs...

My first 5 kids were born out of wedlock.

 

[Moonglow]

I feel that is a very sad thing when you cant expect your spouse to be faithful to you. It says a lot about this day and age. People don't want to have to be honest, they want their cake and eat it too. I have been single a very long time, mainly due to the fact that any man I meet only wants a sexual relationship with no commitment. At 38, I know I am no spring chicken, but I am not past my prime either lol. Everyone is out for themselves.... and to me..thats sad.

We wonder why we have raised a generation of spoiled entitled children. I have a 16 year old daughter, so I know all about entitled, trust me. Trying to teach her that there are good honest faithful men out there is not easy. (And yes, I know, woman nowadays aren't much better)

Well, sometimes you are damned if you do,and damn't if you don't......

 

[freshie23]

I believe the main reason monogamy's so difficult is our inherent dissatisfaction and want for 'more', combined with irresponsibility over our own actions. I mean, our own planet isn't enough - people wanna go explore Mars!

Men seem to cheat when his sexual needs aren't being met, or simply for more sexual variety, a lot more than women do. Women tend to cheat more often than men when her emotional needs aren't being satisfied. Of course both are capable of both.

Cultural attitudes towards sex & relationships are more self-centered nowadays too, which inadvertently encourages more cheating. How many times have you been told "to NEVER settle"?

 

[Pedro de San Patricio]

Eh. The problem isn't so much that it happens. It's that men expect anything else. Just let go of your expectations and realize that, as an autonomous adult, she's going to do what she wants and it's honestly pretty unfair to hold her accountable for her destructive actions. The relationship is about her anyway. I expanded on that more here: Experiments in the feminist relationship US Message Board - Political Discussion Forum

 

[longknife]

There are two reasons:

One partner simply unable to keep the promise made when wed

One or both partners not caring for or supporting one another.