Chat up lines

[Bootneck]

OK so what are some of your best...or worse...chat up lines?

I'll start off. This is an example of the double reverse:

Getting into a hotel elevator my elbow nudged the breast of a rather attractive young lady.
By way of apology I said, "If your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you will forgive me."

Her response; "If your dick is as hard as your elbow I'm in room 4115."

 

[strollingbones]

why is it all men know exactly what they had hit when they elbow you in the chest?

 

[Bootneck]

why is it all men know exactly what they had hit when they elbow you in the chest?

Well, apart from the fact that most men have had a relationship with the breasts from birth, it's because we know that women thrust them towards our elbows on purpose.

 

[strollingbones]

no no we dont....them elbows can really hurt.....i hate being in a sea of men...my hubby says when he hears the 3rd or 4th....excuse me ma'am.. he knows it is too crowded...i quit going to the large shows due to this and panic attacks. ..and why do you hold your hands out.. you know that classic hands in the air...palms out....thing men do....do you think i am gonna let you touch them..cause you are polite?

 

[Bootneck]

no no we dont....them elbows can really hurt.....i hate being in a sea of men...my hubby says when he hears the 3rd or 4th....excuse me ma'am.. he knows it is too crowded...i quit going to the large shows due to this and panic attacks. ..and why do you hold your hands out.. you know that classic hands in the air...palms out....thing men do....do you think i am gonna let you touch them..cause you are polite?

Who's talking crowded. There was only two in the elevator.

Mind you, when we're wearing dress blues, women tend to throw their panties at you...let alone their boobs.

 

[DamnYankee]

Guessin' no time is wasted on "chat up" lines there... <chuckle>

He says, "I'm not a gynecologist, but I'll take a look."

I say, "Well, honesty is the best policy. Be by guest."

 

[KittenKoder]

no no we dont....them elbows can really hurt.....i hate being in a sea of men...my hubby says when he hears the 3rd or 4th....excuse me ma'am.. he knows it is too crowded...i quit going to the large shows due to this and panic attacks. ..and why do you hold your hands out.. you know that classic hands in the air...palms out....thing men do....do you think i am gonna let you touch them..cause you are polite?

Strolling, remember who you are responding to, Bootneck is the master of smartassery that all us lesser smartasses aspire to.

 

[editec]

Lines are worthless.

If the person is likely to be receptive almost anything you say that isn't completely insane will work.

If the person isn't interested?

Nothing will.

 

[Bootneck]

Lines are worthless.

If the person is likely to be receptive almost anything you say that isn't completely insane will work.

If the person isn't interested?

Nothing will.

Someone has to make the approach with an opening line, even if it's only, 'Would you like to sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that comes up?'

 

[chanel]

Yesterday some kid asked me to be his "cougar" for the night. I told him to get a note from his mom. Then I growled. He and his friends nearly pee'd themselves laughing.

 

[Bootneck]

Sometimes you just have to go for the direct approach:


A young guy drops off his girlfriend at her home after being out together on a date. When they reach the front door he leans up against the house with one hand and says to her, "How about a blowjob?"

"What! Are you crazy!"

"Don't worry, it will be quick," he ensures his girlfriend.

"No! Someone might see us..."

"It's just a blowjob," he insists, "and I know you like it."

"No! I said no!"

"Baby ... don't be like that."

Suddenly, the girl's younger sister shows up at the door in her nightdress, with her hair a mess and rubbing her eyes. She looks at them and smirks, "Dad says either you blow him, I blow him, mum will come and blow him or he'll come downstairs and blow the twat himself ... but for Gods sake tell him to take his hand off the fucking intercom."

 

[chanel]

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

 

[The Illusion]

Man: "Does it hurt?"

Woman: "Does what hurt?"

Man: "Falling from Heaven"

 

[chanel]

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

 

[The Illusion]

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

lol ive heard some corny lines from men.. and they ARE corny lol

Jamie

 

[Bootneck]

Screw me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

No!

 

[strollingbones]

what happened to.... hi, my name is...with a firm handshake and a freely given smile

 

[Bootneck]

what happened to.... hi, my name is...with a firm handshake and a freely given smile

What, and let them know you're hitting on 'em.

 

[Phoenix]

Someone has to make the approach with an opening line, even if it's only, 'Would you like to sit on my lap and talk about the first thing that comes up?'

My brother used to say that to girls.

Second favorite was "let's get one thing straight between us"

 

[Bootneck]

Actually, Editec was almost right in what he said earlier in this thread. It doesn’t matter what you say, words are a small percentage of the communication that occurs during an encounter with another person. In fact, words only supply 7% of the communication. The other 93% is split up between body language and voice tone, with body language the most relevant.

There is one chat-up line that is superior to ALL others, but it has to be used in the correct manner otherwise it is totally ineffectual. It has to be delivered as part of a five step process using brief conversation, body language and confidence. It is not smutty nor is it based on any double entendre, but it has never failed when delivered by those who know how.

But it remains a closely guarded secret amongst the Corps. Sorry guys.