CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide

Discussion in 'Political Satire' started by Weatherman2020, Aug 10, 2019.

  1. Weatherman2020
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    Weatherman2020 Diamond Member

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    ATLANTA, GA – According to a report from the Centers for Disease Control released on Thursday, people with inside, compromising knowledge of Bill and Hillary Clinton’s financial and political dealings are 843% more likely to commit suicide.

    “We’ve never seen a single risk factor cause a spike of this magnitude,” a CDC spokesperson told reporters. “Interestingly, in spite of their increased suicide risk, people with dirt on the Clintons rarely show any warning signs of suicide, and they never leave a suicide note.”

    Remarking about how abnormal it is, the spokesman again stressed the significance of the data.

    “Therefore, we advise any American with detrimental information about Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, or the Clinton Foundation to forget about it as quickly as possible to avoid a greatly increased probability of taking your own life,” he cautioned.

    “And—I swear—that’s all we know.”

    CDC: People With Dirt On Clintons Have 843% Greater Risk Of Suicide
     
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  2. Care4all
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    Care4all Warrior Princess Supporting Member

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    :lol:
     
  3. mudwhistle
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  4. mudwhistle
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    mudwhistle Diamond Member

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  5. mudwhistle
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    mudwhistle Diamond Member

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  6. bullwinkle
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    bullwinkle Gold Member

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    Yo! Weather! It is interesting that the only way Trump supporters, like you, can promote him is not by listing his measurable accomplishments which can easily be scrutinized and questioned, but rather seem to think putting others down (Clinton/Obama/Mueller) lifts Trump.
     
  7. Uncensored2008
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    Uncensored2008 Libertarian Radical Supporting Member

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    As a Stalinist, you no doubt are fine with your party murdering those with dirt on the elite.

    It's not a question, it's a fact. The democrat party is based on the ideals and methods of Josef Stalin.
     
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  8. Weatherman2020
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    Weatherman2020 Diamond Member

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    You get an F in self awareness.
     
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  9. bullwinkle
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    bullwinkle Gold Member

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    Uncensored, bite me!
     
  10. bullwinkle
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    bullwinkle Gold Member

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    Now weather! You know it's true. You defend Donald by cutting down whoever frowns at him. However, I AM grateful you have a little class instead of going off on ridiculous rants like some adolescent brat.
     

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