Cats & Dogs

Discussion in 'Humor' started by Shattered, Dec 8, 2004.

  1. Shattered
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    Shattered Guest

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    As seen in a dog's diary:

    8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
    11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
    Noon - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
    1pm - Oh Boy! The yard! My favorite!
    3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
    4pm - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
    5pm - Oh Boy! Mom! My favorite!
    7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
    9pm - Oh Boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!

    As seen in a cat's diary:

    Day 183 of my captivity... My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they ! were walking almost succeeded -- must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair -- must try this on their bed. Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts

    They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

    But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...
     

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