Case scenario: Friends

[jimnyc]

I've always been the type to take friendships very seriously. I've never been the type to have a billion friends everywhere I go. I prefer to have a solid core of 'great' friends. I used to make fun of a friend a long time ago and referred to him as my 'part time friend' because we only went out every few months or so because he just didn't have a lot of time for me. I prefer my friends to be full time.

Anyway, let's pretend for a minute. Let's suppose it's a special time for you and you invite a handful of special friends out to share a drink with you on a Friday night. One person you thought was a close friend never replies. You call that person on Friday and find they are at a bar within seconds of your home, and their response is "I'm out with my friends".

How would you react, feel, respond to that situation?

 

[Annie]

I've always been the type to take friendships very seriously. I've never been the type to have a billion friends everywhere I go. I prefer to have a solid core of 'great' friends. I used to make fun of a friend a long time ago and referred to him as my 'part time friend' because we only went out every few months or so because he just didn't have a lot of time for me. I prefer my friends to be full time.

Anyway, let's pretend for a minute. Let's suppose it's a special time for you and you invite a handful of special friends out to share a drink with you on a Friday night. One person you thought was a close friend never replies. You call that person on Friday and find they are at a bar within seconds of your home, and their response is "I'm out with my friends".

How would you react, feel, respond to that situation?

I'd reevaluate that friendship, unless of course they had a hot date! Then I'd understand.

 

[jimnyc]

I'd reevaluate that friendship, unless of course they had a hot date! Then I'd understand.

That's what I've been doing this evening, reevaluating a lot of things. Mind you, only one of those invited out replied to me, and that was to tell me he already had plans but at least he had the common decency to reply at least. The others weren't the closest to begin with but I did think more of them than to think they would just ignore me. Tonight with the other one was the last straw. Even though there was no reply, I figured I would give a shout out anyway, even if it were just for a quick drink or two. But I sort of felt like my invite/celebration was tossed back in my face. And yes, I'm a fruity guy that actually has emotions, and I get hurt when people do this to me, and usually don't take to kindly to being blown off or ignored. But then I get back to being manly and have thoughts of kicking peoples asses!

 

[Mr. P]

I've always been the type to take friendships very seriously. I've never been the type to have a billion friends everywhere I go. I prefer to have a solid core of 'great' friends. I used to make fun of a friend a long time ago and referred to him as my 'part time friend' because we only went out every few months or so because he just didn't have a lot of time for me. I prefer my friends to be full time.

Anyway, let's pretend for a minute. Let's suppose it's a special time for you and you invite a handful of special friends out to share a drink with you on a Friday night. One person you thought was a close friend never replies. You call that person on Friday and find they are at a bar within seconds of your home, and their response is "I'm out with my friends".

How would you react, feel, respond to that situation?

Don’t know. I can tell you that I have learned, “Real friends” are few.
I can count my “Real friends” on one hand, with fingers left over. Something we learn with age and experience, I guess.

 

[Annie]

That's what I've been doing this evening, reevaluating a lot of things. Mind you, only one of those invited out replied to me, and that was to tell me he already had plans but at least he had the common decency to reply at least. The others weren't the closest to begin with but I did think more of them than to think they would just ignore me. Tonight with the other one was the last straw. Even though there was no reply, I figured I would give a shout out anyway, even if it were just for a quick drink or two. But I sort of felt like my invite/celebration was tossed back in my face. And yes, I'm a fruity guy that actually has emotions, and I get hurt when people do this to me, and usually don't take to kindly to being blown off or ignored. But then I get back to being manly and have thoughts of kicking peoples asses!

I can understand the kicking asses! I've been lucky with friends, they've always been there when I've needed them. Now mind you, one I've been friends with since I was 3. The other really good friend, since we were 17. I've got a couple other good friends, but not like those two.

I think those kinds of bonds are hard to make and sever. We knew each other before college, before husbands, before kids, we knew each others parents and they have been there with the difficult last few years with mine. Both of these women came and visited with my mom regularly when she was here and that last year in the nursing home, when I wasn't there.

As they both said, they know I'll be there for there times. Who wouldn't be? With that said, there have been times when we weren't always able to. My friend from toddlerhood, well when I was getting married, she of course would be my maid of honor. However she picked the 3 months before to go off to Europe backpacking and came home 2 days before the wedding.

She kept that kind of lifestyle for the next 8 years, THEN she got married. Well she didn't relate so well when my kids were little, so we drifted. Now mine are grown and last week we met up for breakfast and she told me her high school daughter is seeing a psychiatrist, seems she's been cutting herself for the past year. Luckily the daughter one morning got up and told my friend. She didn't know how to stop, but wanted to. She called me for a referral, since I unfortunately was the one person she knew whose kids got the help they needed.

Sometimes we are just in different places at different times. If these 'friends' had proven out before, I'd weigh it all carefully. On the other hand, if they've not been so good about being there, small loss to write them off.

I have lots of acquaintances, very few friends. Those that are, I'd go to the wall for.

 

[dilloduck]

I would try not to jump to any conclusions and try again later. I have very few close friends. When they are unavailable I either learn more about how to enjoy time alone or put myself in a position to meet new people. Sometimes I even get bored enough to clean stuff.

 

[Mr. P]

I would try not to jump to any conclusions and try again later. I have very few close friends. When they are unavailable I either learn more about how to enjoy time alone or put myself in a position to meet new people. Sometimes I even get bored enough to clean stuff.

shuuuuushhhhhhhhh.

 

[Nienna]

I have many acquaintances, but I have only had ONE real friend, whom I truly love, and I know loves me in return, to whom I could tell anything and count on for anything. Those kinds of people are a rarity.

Yeah, I can see why you feel blown-off. But, it's probably not that these people don't like you. People are, in general, just really into themselves.

 

[Nienna]

I would try not to jump to any conclusions and try again later. I have very few close friends. When they are unavailable I either learn more about how to enjoy time alone or put myself in a position to meet new people. Sometimes I even get bored enough to clean stuff.

If you ever find yourself THAT bored, head on up to Ohio. I can find something to keep you busy.

 

[dmp]

If you ever find yourself THAT bored, head on up to Ohio. I can find something to keep you busy.

that offer good to anyone???

:wank:

 

[Said1]

Yeah, I can see why you feel blown-off. But, it's probably not that these people don't like you. People are, in general, just really into themselves.

Esepcially after you have kids!

 

[Mr. P]

Esepcially after you have kids!

That changes the world, doesn't it.