- Sep 22, 2013
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Many human groups have engaged in the controversial practice of cannibalism, some for religious rituals (e.g., Aztecs of Mexico) and others for survivalism (e.g., survivors of the South American rugby team stranded in the snowy Andes Mountains without food).
When man was first evolving 'away' from monkeys, he ate only fruits and vegetables. When he decided to make tools to hunt animals for meat and cook the meat with fire, he grew in muscular size and mental ambitiousness. These days, we make movies about deadly A.I. robots rebelling against human scientists and destroying all of civilization.
The cannibal is a strange being, and characterizations of cannibals in mainstream films usually comes in the form of horror cinema --- e.g., The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Let's be real. When man ate only fruits (e.g., cranberries, apples, etc.), he didn't drool over his food. When man began to eat animals (e.g., fish, beef, etc.), he didn't eat infected meats or drool over unhealthy raw fish. In other words, no matter what you're eating (or who) or why, what matters is your *recipe* for consciousness.
It's all about attitude and perspective, no?
With that said, why not consider a handful of 'non-horrifying' cannibalism recipes, so the next time you're stranded in the mountains and if you have to eat your deceased friend to survive, why not make life a little less insane for yourself and not drool over raw human flesh?
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SHIVA: Let's cook the stomach of this dead Civil War soldier.
LEATHERFACE: Yea, cut it up into long lean pieces.
SHIVA: Yes. Then cook the pieces in oil and basil in a large skillet.
LEATHERFACE: Cut up the toes and make a nice bony stew.
SHIVA: Great idea. The stew should contain large potatoes, wild rice, and tomato sauce.
LEATHERFACE: What about the blood?
SHIVA: If you like your meat rare, the bloody cooked human meat is sufficient, no?
LEATHERFACE: Yea, but let's use the cartilage-rich ears to make fried 'ear-chips.'
SHIVA: Great idea. I hope this fellow was a heroic Civil War soldier.
LEATHERFACE: Yea, no one wants to eat a creep!
SHIVA: Haha. Would you eat the flesh of a woman?
LEATHERFACE: I'd use her thighs to make battered fried meat (like fried chicken).
SHIVA: That sounds enticing, but definitely use garlic and Dijon mustard.
LEATHERFACE: Sounds right. What about the heart, lungs, kidneys, and intestines?
SHIVA: Treat 'em like grits/scrapple-like items. I would put all that stuff in a very spicy gumbo.
LEATHERFACE: Let's take the soldier's breasts to make a nice hearty soup.
SHIVA: Alright. The soup should be a nice bisque (with red peppers and cinnamon).
LEATHERFACE: Mmmmm. For desert, let's use the liver to make a honey-dripping meat parfait.
SHIVA: Sounds delicious. This all goes well with a nice glass of Merlot with a few drops of blood.
LEATHERFACE: It's sad that no one will come to our new bistro...
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Cannibal Recipes (VillageVoice)
When man was first evolving 'away' from monkeys, he ate only fruits and vegetables. When he decided to make tools to hunt animals for meat and cook the meat with fire, he grew in muscular size and mental ambitiousness. These days, we make movies about deadly A.I. robots rebelling against human scientists and destroying all of civilization.
The cannibal is a strange being, and characterizations of cannibals in mainstream films usually comes in the form of horror cinema --- e.g., The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.
Let's be real. When man ate only fruits (e.g., cranberries, apples, etc.), he didn't drool over his food. When man began to eat animals (e.g., fish, beef, etc.), he didn't eat infected meats or drool over unhealthy raw fish. In other words, no matter what you're eating (or who) or why, what matters is your *recipe* for consciousness.
It's all about attitude and perspective, no?
With that said, why not consider a handful of 'non-horrifying' cannibalism recipes, so the next time you're stranded in the mountains and if you have to eat your deceased friend to survive, why not make life a little less insane for yourself and not drool over raw human flesh?
====
SHIVA: Let's cook the stomach of this dead Civil War soldier.
LEATHERFACE: Yea, cut it up into long lean pieces.
SHIVA: Yes. Then cook the pieces in oil and basil in a large skillet.
LEATHERFACE: Cut up the toes and make a nice bony stew.
SHIVA: Great idea. The stew should contain large potatoes, wild rice, and tomato sauce.
LEATHERFACE: What about the blood?
SHIVA: If you like your meat rare, the bloody cooked human meat is sufficient, no?
LEATHERFACE: Yea, but let's use the cartilage-rich ears to make fried 'ear-chips.'
SHIVA: Great idea. I hope this fellow was a heroic Civil War soldier.
LEATHERFACE: Yea, no one wants to eat a creep!
SHIVA: Haha. Would you eat the flesh of a woman?
LEATHERFACE: I'd use her thighs to make battered fried meat (like fried chicken).
SHIVA: That sounds enticing, but definitely use garlic and Dijon mustard.
LEATHERFACE: Sounds right. What about the heart, lungs, kidneys, and intestines?
SHIVA: Treat 'em like grits/scrapple-like items. I would put all that stuff in a very spicy gumbo.
LEATHERFACE: Let's take the soldier's breasts to make a nice hearty soup.
SHIVA: Alright. The soup should be a nice bisque (with red peppers and cinnamon).
LEATHERFACE: Mmmmm. For desert, let's use the liver to make a honey-dripping meat parfait.
SHIVA: Sounds delicious. This all goes well with a nice glass of Merlot with a few drops of blood.
LEATHERFACE: It's sad that no one will come to our new bistro...
====
Cannibal Recipes (VillageVoice)
