can anyone improve this French terror alert system

[flaja]

Le French Systeme de Terror Del ’alert
By les order de Monsieur René Artois, Minister de running like Le chicken, Nouvion distrique

Le Codé Jaune
We surendeur to Le Germans because Le Americans won’t die for France either.

Le Codé Rouge
Coco is out of fabrique, Monsieur Goering wants a new dress and Le British won’t die for France.

Le Codé Rose
We are out of Vichy Water and les Champaign and Le Germans are coming.

Le Codé Violette
We are out of Vichy Water and we are running low on les Champaign.

Le Codé bleu clair
We are running low on Vichy Water