CDZ Can a LACK of Discipline be a Form of Abuse?

[Natural Citizen]

The father has never been involved with the kid and wouldn’t be a helpful individual even if he was involved.

Oh, sorry, I guess that voids what I was saying about helicopter parenting in this particular situation.

 

[Anathema]

Well... you are the parent of the one who birthed this boy. If you get custody have the strength to stand up to your daughter. Be the figure this boy needs. Or watch the cycle repeat itself. Decisions, decisions...

No. I’m the guy who married his biological aunt. The grandparents are almost as useless with him as his mother is.

Not sure the CPS here would give us custody since I’m a gun owner.

 

[gipper]

What does the boy eat? Is his diet shitty? He may have a nutritional deficiency.

Garbage. Soda, processed crap, fast food. He won’t touch a veggie other than corn. Eats potatoes and rice.

BINGO!

There in lays the problem. He needs to be a good whole food diet and probably needs a high quality multi vitamin and other specific vitamins such as niacin (vitamin B3), to repair the damage done from years of eating shit. Niacin has been found to help with anxiety, moodiness, and depression...it like most vitamins and more specifically the B vitamins, is vital for good health...including mental health.

DoctorYourself.com - Niacin Therapy Details

 

[Vastator]

Well... you are the parent of the one who birthed this boy. If you get custody have the strength to stand up to your daughter. Be the figure this boy needs. Or watch the cycle repeat itself. Decisions, decisions...

No. I’m the guy who married his biological aunt. The grandparents are almost as useless with him as his mother is.

Not sure the CPS here would give us custody since I’m a gun owner.

While empathy is fine when you can afford it; you don’t have any blood in this game. Don’t beat yourself up over it...

 

[Crixus]

I have a nine year old nephew who has significant discipline issues. Parents, grandparents, teachers, etc... he refuses to accept any form of authority over him. He’s been diagnosed as having Obsessive Defiance Disorder (ODD) and ADHD.

Nobody who has any authority over this kid will stand up to him. He’s allowed to make his own rules and throws a massive fit whenever any sort of discipline is even talked about. He curses and swears at his parents and literally ignores any limits imposed on him by anyone in authority.

At some point does failing to apply actual order and discipline on this child become a form of abuse or neglect in its own right? I’m not suggesting a need to get authorities involved, but st what point are these people doing this child a massive disservice with potentially lifelong consequences?

Here is a lesson I have learned with my 5 kids, and adults in general that I deal with day in and day out. You don’t have any excuse being exasperated, offended or cheesed of by their behavior fords you if you never clearly define where the line is. For me, it’s actually more easy to do this with kids then adults as kids get the message and move on where adults cry about it. So yes, lack of discipline is child abuse. If you don’t do it, someone else will.

 

[sartre play]

Sorry about your situation, hope there is change for the better.

 

[Jackson]

Relevant reading - Why Children of Overprotective Parents Are Slated to Fail in Life

It's a well written paper, far deeper than I chose to go with it.

If we don't allow our children to fail, they will not experience consequences while this is part of life and dealing with adversity is something they need to experience and get beyond. Childhood is al.l about love, acceptance, adversity and learning to cope. Don't allow your child to go out in the world thinking that everyone will treat him like Mom did and life is just about jelly beans.

 

[Jarlaxle]

I have a nine year old nephew who has significant discipline issues. Parents, grandparents, teachers, etc... he refuses to accept any form of authority over him. He’s been diagnosed as having Obsessive Defiance Disorder (ODD) and ADHD.

Nobody who has any authority over this kid will stand up to him. He’s allowed to make his own rules and throws a massive fit whenever any sort of discipline is even talked about. He curses and swears at his parents and literally ignores any limits imposed on him by anyone in authority.

At some point does failing to apply actual order and discipline on this child become a form of abuse or neglect in its own right? I’m not suggesting a need to get authorities involved, but st what point are these people doing this child a massive disservice with potentially lifelong consequences?

My dad had a cure for "Obsessive Defiance Disorder". It was the belt that he usually wore around his waist.

I think a swat is a good thing, but not to be overdone. If it used too much, the child begins to think he's in a helpless, hopeless situation. That in turn starts to affect the relationship with the child and the child turns inward so talking with him is difficukt.

Or, as one of my coworkers discovered, he beat his daughter one time too many...and she poured a 2 gallon stock pot of boiling water over his head while he slept. It was a closed-casket funeral.

 

[Jarlaxle]

Whoop dat ass until he gets right, or else the law/state will take control of him before he grows up.

Forget all that psychiatric bibblety-babble, beat dat butt!

Please do not share your sexual perversions here.

 

[Jarlaxle]

I have a nine year old nephew who has significant discipline issues. Parents, grandparents, teachers, etc... he refuses to accept any form of authority over him. He’s been diagnosed as having Obsessive Defiance Disorder (ODD) and ADHD.

Nobody who has any authority over this kid will stand up to him. He’s allowed to make his own rules and throws a massive fit whenever any sort of discipline is even talked about. He curses and swears at his parents and literally ignores any limits imposed on him by anyone in authority.

At some point does failing to apply actual order and discipline on this child become a form of abuse or neglect in its own right? I’m not suggesting a need to get authorities involved, but st what point are these people doing this child a massive disservice with potentially lifelong consequences?

My dad had a cure for "Obsessive Defiance Disorder". It was the belt that he usually wore around his waist.

I think a swat is a good thing, but not to be overdone. If it used too much, the child begins to think he's in a helpless, hopeless situation. That in turn starts to affect the relationship with the child and the child turns inward so talking with him is difficukt.

I am all for "time outs" and taking fun stuff away from kids as punishment/discipline. However, a good ass whipping is in order if the kid is defiant in face of the other forms of discipline. Spare the rod, spoil the child.

Also, not all kids are "wired" the same. What works with one child may not work so well with another.

Anyone that hits a child in any way, shape, or form, under any circumstances should be publicly tortured to death over a period of at least a year.

 

[Jarlaxle]

No one is remotely interested in listening to me, but Oppositional Defiant Disorder is not something you can fix with a belt or a paddle. It is not caused by lax parenting or over permissive parenting, either. It is a disorder in the child's ability to process his/her emotional load.

They prefer getting their rocks off torturing children.

 

[OldLady]

No one is remotely interested in listening to me, but Oppositional Defiant Disorder is not something you can fix with a belt or a paddle. It is not caused by lax parenting or over permissive parenting, either. It is a disorder in the child's ability to process his/her emotional load.

They prefer getting their rocks off torturing children.

That's too extreme. We tend to parent the way we were raised. It is frustrating though when people who don't understand the problem think they know how to "fix" other people's kids.

 

[strollingbones]

It is easy to be a lazy parent...being a good parent takes massive amounts of time and energy

 

[Jarlaxle]

Well... you are the parent of the one who birthed this boy. If you get custody have the strength to stand up to your daughter. Be the figure this boy needs. Or watch the cycle repeat itself. Decisions, decisions...

No. I’m the guy who married his biological aunt. The grandparents are almost as useless with him as his mother is.

Not sure the CPS here would give us custody since I’m a gun owner.

While empathy is fine when you can afford it; you don’t have any blood in this game. Don’t beat yourself up over it...

He is a sociopath incapable of empathy.

 

[Jarlaxle]

No one is remotely interested in listening to me, but Oppositional Defiant Disorder is not something you can fix with a belt or a paddle. It is not caused by lax parenting or over permissive parenting, either. It is a disorder in the child's ability to process his/her emotional load.

They prefer getting their rocks off torturing children.

That's too extreme. We tend to parent the way we were raised. It is frustrating though when people who don't understand the problem think they know how to "fix" other people's kids.

No, its not.

 

[Marion Morrison]

Whoop dat ass until he gets right, or else the law/state will take control of him before he grows up.

Forget all that psychiatric bibblety-babble, beat dat butt!

Please do not share your sexual perversions here.

There's nothing sexual about disciplining children, dumbass.

 

[OldLady]

Whoop dat ass until he gets right, or else the law/state will take control of him before he grows up.

Forget all that psychiatric bibblety-babble, beat dat butt!

Please do not share your sexual perversions here.

There's nothing sexual about disciplining children, dumbass.

Getting your fanny wumped by momma's hand isn't "torture," either. If I remember correctly, it hurt my ego much more than my butt. It was sitting in the corner that sent me into gales of tears. I HATED that.

 

[strollingbones]

I popped the 4.5 yr old the other day ..shocked both of us then she cried...i went home and felt bad she went to Dollywood

 

[Natural Citizen]

We tend to parent the way we were raised.

I don't. I do precisely the opposite. I'm the oldest of nine kids. The state came in and separated all of the kids and put em in foster homes after years of being at the receiving end of travesties that few Americans could even imagine.

This didn't solve the problem, it only made the consequences worse, as some have since put themselves at the end of ropes in their older years.

It is frustrating though when people who don't understand the problem think they know how to "fix" other people's kids.

Yep.

 

[Marion Morrison]

We tend to parent the way we were raised.

I don't. I do precisely the opposite. I'm the oldest of nine kids. The state came in and separated all of the kids and put em in foster homes after years of being at the receiving end of travesties that few Americans could even imagine.

This didn't solve the problem, it only made the consequences worse, as some have since put themselves at the end of ropes in their older years.

It is frustrating though when people who don't understand the problem think they know how to "fix" other people's kids.

Yep.

Some people break the cycle. My friends' dad was abusive. The older brother broke the cycle by making the effort to not be like his dad. The younger brother did not. The older one's kids are much better adjusted into society. Oh, he paddled..just not abusively. He didn't even want to, but he knew he had to set some boundaries.