CDZ Can a LACK of Discipline be a Form of Abuse?

Discussion in 'Clean Debate Zone' started by Anathema, Apr 17, 2019.

  1. Anathema
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    Anathema Crotchety Olde Man

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    I have a nine year old nephew who has significant discipline issues. Parents, grandparents, teachers, etc... he refuses to accept any form of authority over him. He’s been diagnosed as having Obsessive Defiance Disorder (ODD) and ADHD.

    Nobody who has any authority over this kid will stand up to him. He’s allowed to make his own rules and throws a massive fit whenever any sort of discipline is even talked about. He curses and swears at his parents and literally ignores any limits imposed on him by anyone in authority.

    At some point does failing to apply actual order and discipline on this child become a form of abuse or neglect in its own right? I’m not suggesting a need to get authorities involved, but st what point are these people doing this child a massive disservice with potentially lifelong consequences?
     
  2. Mac1958
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    Mac1958 Diamond Member

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    Our culture has decayed to a point at which children in this situation are not supposed to be dealt with because it might hurt their feelings.

    Just assign a condition to them, give 'em some drugs, and expect their teachers to just deal with them, even if they are a disruptive force.

    Feelings and identity now override anything, period. A lack of discipline that results in counterproductive behaviors is someone else's fault.

    I wish I were kidding.
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  3. Moonglow
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    Moonglow BANNED

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    You must be because no matter the situation I wouldn't give out poor advice on kids.
     
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  4. Billy_Kinetta
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    Billy_Kinetta Paladin of the Lost Hour Gold Supporting Member Supporting Member

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    Nine years old, and acting like a two year old?

    Tough prognosis. I would say professional intervention is definitely required. Best of luck.

    Personally, I would count it as abuse.
     
  5. gipper
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    gipper Libertarian/Anarchist

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    What does the boy eat? Is his diet shitty? He may have a nutritional deficiency.
     
  6. Mac1958
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    Mac1958 Diamond Member

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    One of our kids teaches kindergarten and sees all kinds of research on various behaviors and their possible root causes.

    The list is long and sometimes contradictory. But the one overriding constant is parental guidance. So a diet would be a part of that.

    In some cases, though, there are simply no discernible causes. It's a tough issue.
    .
     
  7. OldLady
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    OldLady Diamond Member

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    Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a bugger. They say it evolves when a child is overwhelmed with anxiety about a choice or a change, feels a lack of control of their situation, that kind of thing. I've worked with these kids a few times. They will shoot themselves in the foot, knowing full well the negative consequences their actions will bring. It is highly self-destructive.
    This diagnosis morphs into anti-social when they grow up.
    It's not something you can fix with a paddle and a strict bedtime, guys. And if this child in the OP has been diagnosed, you can bet intervention is already on board.

    Some of the strategies the OP spoke of--letting the child "get away with it" and not losing your temper--is part of it. If you push against these kids, it escalates extremely fast. Offer a choice if possible, so the child can feel he has at least a bit of control of the situation; it lowers the anxiety level.

    It's a rough diagnosis. I feel nothing but sympathy for all involved.
     
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  8. Jackson
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    Jackson Gold Member Supporting Member

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    I would consider this "neglect." The parents are the first authorities with whom the child wi.ll come into contact...they started the ball rolling. Now, all authority figures are nothing to him. Just about the last authority figure this child will meet is Law Enforcement. Without out guidance in the early years, his fate is sealed. The last authority figure this child will see is the guard in a penetentiary.
     
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  9. Anathema
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    Anathema Crotchety Olde Man

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    The mother won’t take him to appointments. Once he got the ODD/ADHD diagnosis and the meds, she feels he’s all set.
     
  10. Anathema
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    Anathema Crotchety Olde Man

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    Garbage. Soda, processed crap, fast food. He won’t touch a veggie other than corn. Eats potatoes and rice.
     

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