Build a Better Vibrator

[Madeline]

I have only owned one vibrator in my life. A boyfriend bought it for me, because I was too embarrassed to admit that I wanted one. We got it as Sears, and it's meant for massaging muscles, not -- ahem -- yanno.

I have a friend who builds toys and he was explaining his latest creation to me the other night when a lightbulb went off over my head.

"Can you build a vibrator?" says I.

"Sure...whaca want?" says he.

ZOWIE!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE??????

For starters, it'd be more powerful than the one I own. ('Nuff said about that....*blushes*.) It'd be pretty...maybe pink or a nice shade of lavendar. And it'd have music, maybe a built in MP3 player. Mine makes an annoying sound like a car ignition trying to turn over.

It'd have features I could play with. Running lights I could change in color and frequency. A bubble maker, for atmosphere. Maybe a series of faceplates so I could change the appearance when the mood struck me. Something from "Hello Kitty" might be nice, to start.

It'd be smaller than the one I have, and much lighter. And maybe say things in Mandy Patakin's voice occasionally, like "Oh, darling, will you have dinner with me this Friday?" and "When do I get to meet your family?"

Any other suggestions? Shopping tips? Hello Kitty freaks?

*Laughs out loud*

 

[LuckyDan]

*blushes*


Why do I doubt that, Madeline?

 

[Madeline]

*blushes*


Why do I doubt that, Madeline?

Tis true. I am a peculiar mix of brash Women's Lib/Erica Jong style sexuality and good old fashioned Catholic shame. I never could bring myself to enter a Frederick's of Hollywood store.

Everyone has hang ups, Lucky Dan. Sometimes, we can convert them into swing sets, sometimes not.

 

[Colin]

I have only owned one vibrator in my life. A boyfriend bought it for me, because I was too embarrassed to admit that I wanted one. We got it as Sears, and it's meant for massaging muscles, not -- ahem -- yanno.

I have a friend who builds toys and he was explaining his latest creation to me the other night when a lightbulb went off over my head.

"Can you build a vibrator?" says I.

"Sure...whaca want?" says he.

ZOWIE!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE??????

For starters, it'd be more powerful than the one I own. ('Nuff said about that....*blushes*.) It'd be pretty...maybe pink or a nice shade of lavendar. And it'd have music, maybe a built in MP3 player. Mine makes an annoying sound like a car ignition trying to turn over.

It'd have features I could play with. Running lights I could change in color and frequency. A bubble maker, for atmosphere. Maybe a series of faceplates so I could change the appearance when the mood struck me. Something from "Hello Kitty" might be nice, to start.

It'd be smaller than the one I have, and much lighter. And maybe say things in Mandy Patakin's voice occasionally, like "Oh, darling, will you have dinner with me this Friday?" and "When do I get to meet your family?"

Any other suggestions? Shopping tips? Hello Kitty freaks?

*Laughs out loud*

Surely you would want one that is totally realistic. So, what about this.....

A NEW VIBRATOR JUST OUT FOR WOMEN IS SO REALISTIC THAT JUST BEFORE SHE REACHES HER CLIMAX, IT CUMS,COUGHS,FARTS,GOES LIMP & THEN SWITCHES ITSELF OFF.

 

[Baruch Menachem]

[ame="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nC2gZMNkyJo"]good vibrations[/ame]

 

[Madeline]

I have only owned one vibrator in my life. A boyfriend bought it for me, because I was too embarrassed to admit that I wanted one. We got it as Sears, and it's meant for massaging muscles, not -- ahem -- yanno.

I have a friend who builds toys and he was explaining his latest creation to me the other night when a lightbulb went off over my head.

"Can you build a vibrator?" says I.

"Sure...whaca want?" says he.

ZOWIE!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE??????

For starters, it'd be more powerful than the one I own. ('Nuff said about that....*blushes*.) It'd be pretty...maybe pink or a nice shade of lavendar. And it'd have music, maybe a built in MP3 player. Mine makes an annoying sound like a car ignition trying to turn over.

It'd have features I could play with. Running lights I could change in color and frequency. A bubble maker, for atmosphere. Maybe a series of faceplates so I could change the appearance when the mood struck me. Something from "Hello Kitty" might be nice, to start.

It'd be smaller than the one I have, and much lighter. And maybe say things in Mandy Patakin's voice occasionally, like "Oh, darling, will you have dinner with me this Friday?" and "When do I get to meet your family?"

Any other suggestions? Shopping tips? Hello Kitty freaks?

*Laughs out loud*

Surely you would want one that is totally realistic. So, what about this.....

A NEW VIBRATOR JUST OUT FOR WOMEN IS SO REALISTIC THAT JUST BEFORE SHE REACHES HER CLIMAX, IT CUMS,COUGHS,FARTS,GOES LIMP & THEN SWITCHES ITSELF OFF.

LOL...why it's my ex!

Still suck in bed huh?

He he he...

 

[LuckyDan]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCIEO__Vyic]YouTube - Steely Dan - Dirty Work[/ame]

 

[Colin]

I have only owned one vibrator in my life. A boyfriend bought it for me, because I was too embarrassed to admit that I wanted one. We got it as Sears, and it's meant for massaging muscles, not -- ahem -- yanno.

I have a friend who builds toys and he was explaining his latest creation to me the other night when a lightbulb went off over my head.

"Can you build a vibrator?" says I.

"Sure...whaca want?" says he.

ZOWIE!!!!!! WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS BEFORE??????

For starters, it'd be more powerful than the one I own. ('Nuff said about that....*blushes*.) It'd be pretty...maybe pink or a nice shade of lavendar. And it'd have music, maybe a built in MP3 player. Mine makes an annoying sound like a car ignition trying to turn over.

It'd have features I could play with. Running lights I could change in color and frequency. A bubble maker, for atmosphere. Maybe a series of faceplates so I could change the appearance when the mood struck me. Something from "Hello Kitty" might be nice, to start.

It'd be smaller than the one I have, and much lighter. And maybe say things in Mandy Patakin's voice occasionally, like "Oh, darling, will you have dinner with me this Friday?" and "When do I get to meet your family?"

Any other suggestions? Shopping tips? Hello Kitty freaks?

*Laughs out loud*

Surely you would want one that is totally realistic. So, what about this.....

A NEW VIBRATOR JUST OUT FOR WOMEN IS SO REALISTIC THAT JUST BEFORE SHE REACHES HER CLIMAX, IT CUMS,COUGHS,FARTS,GOES LIMP & THEN SWITCHES ITSELF OFF.

LOL...why it's my ex!

Still suck in bed huh?

He he he...

Suck, blow, yodel in the canyon. You name it I'll oblige!

 

[Big Fitz]

Kaylee: "But he coulda made 'em family. 'stead of keepin' Simon from seein' I was there. And I carried such a torch! And we coulda...goin' on a year now and I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!"

Mal: (horrified) "Oh God! I can't know that!"

Jayne: "I could stand to hear more."

 

[pans trogladyta]

Guess I haven't seen everything, this thread is a new one on me.

 

[Terry]

Here you go, this seems to fit your personality, so try that since you need something with more power. IT even has handles to hold onto. *rolls eyes*

 

[Baruch Menachem]

Mama of a homely girl hears a buzzing in her bedroom and sees her with her vibrator. She tells her mom not to bother her because this is as good as she is going to get.

Later on, her father hears a buzzing too, and he also investigates and gets the same response.


Monday night the girl comes home and sees her father watching the football game with the vibrator buzzing away on the couch. She asks "What is going on?"

Dad says "Don't bother us. I'm just watching the game with the son in law."

 

[Madeline]

Here you go, this seems to fit your personality, so try that since you need something with more power. IT even has handles to hold onto. *rolls eyes*

Terry, the power tools are not for sex play.

Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter | NBC Washington

Please use better judgment, Terry. We cannot affix warning labels to power tools for everything.

Okay, more details. The bubble-maker should make pink and lavendar bubbles, and should make them in different sizes and with a non-irritating soap.

The male voice should be changable, for those occassions when only the Allstate spokesmodel will do:

And the vibrator should come with reasonably good female soft porn, as a free gift.

Hint, hint: free to view on Hulu.com.

Humm, pondering...what else now?

 

[Madeline]

Mama of a homely girl hears a buzzing in her bedroom and sees her with her vibrator. She tells her mom not to bother her because this is as good as she is going to get.

Later on, her father hears a buzzing too, and he also investigates and gets the same response.


Monday night the girl comes home and sees her father watching the football game with the vibrator buzzing away on the couch. She asks "What is going on?"

Dad says "Don't bother us. I'm just watching the game with the son in law."

Everyone masterbates, Baruch Menachem.

EVERYONE.

Call me an accessories slut -- I think ladies' vibrators should be prettier.

 

[Douger]

Make sure it's coated with EDPM.
That hard plastic could be detrimental to your teeth.

 

[Colin]

Mama of a homely girl hears a buzzing in her bedroom and sees her with her vibrator. She tells her mom not to bother her because this is as good as she is going to get.

Later on, her father hears a buzzing too, and he also investigates and gets the same response.


Monday night the girl comes home and sees her father watching the football game with the vibrator buzzing away on the couch. She asks "What is going on?"

Dad says "Don't bother us. I'm just watching the game with the son in law."

Everyone masterbates, Baruch Menachem.

EVERYONE.

True. But recent research has discovered that excessive masturbation in males can cause dyslexia.
Hwoeer, tihs is olny in etxreem caess of slef aubse.

 

[strollingbones]

best all around vibrator...the rabbit...its pricey

since gunny is on the edge of making me a mod....i cant just post the pics

here is the link:

Rabbit Vibrator - TheRabbitVibrator.com

now if you want to go full on:

Welcome to thethrillhammer. Home of Luxury Sex Machines

 

[strollingbones]

this is considered one of the better ones:

Sybian Home Page

 

[RadiomanATL]

since gunny is on the edge of making me a mod....

 

[Madeline]

Make sure it's coated with EDPM.
That hard plastic could be detrimental to your teeth.

Douger, dear "Deep Throat" was fictional. The joy button is -- ahem -- elsewhere.

*Winks*