Breast-Feeding: Private Act or Public Right?

[MassageGirl]

I do not think that most people have a problem with the woman who is quietly sitting trying to be discrete as possible as she feeds her child wherever she is...I think the women that people have issues with are the ones who are making no effort whatsoever to consider their surroundings or the people around them.

I really need you to look at what you just wrote. THIS is the problem. It is NOT the womans responsibility to keep other peoples eyes from fixating on her. It is her RESPONSIBILITY to feed her child. I see it isnt an issue with her if she is acting as prudish as possible, and dare I say, HIDING her feminine breasts from all those disgusting pigs that seem to have such a hige problem with any mouths except their own touching that areola of hers... Good grief.. Boobs pop out. Big friggin deal. People dont even make this big of a deal about it if a womans top or bottoms come off in the pool, or a guys shorts fall down. Get over it! People dont have to babysit YOU, so dont try to babysit THEM!!! The happy medium will happen when women stop LETTING MEN EXPLOIT THEM THIS WAY!!! You probably call your female friends "beeotches"... I bet you do. Think about that, the next time YOU have a problem with a woman using her natural anatomy to feed her infant. Maybe you ARE a mysoginist. I refuse to go that far, myself, but this is obviously all about YOU and YOUR distaste for a woman breastfeeding.. ((((unless of course she acts like she lives in the 1700s and covers up as prudishly and quietly as friggin possible))) Well! Wecome to 2007...

The woman at the pool I guarded at refused the locker room - first, it was not a bathroom but a full locker room with a room of couches and chairs, air-conditioned, clean and quiet. Second...she wasn't being discreet...but rather she was wearing her one-piece suit around her waist sitting poolside with both breasts exposed. I guess my question is - Why? Why was that neccessary...why couldn't she sit quietly on a pool chair out of view of others?

Because theyre just BREASTS. Do you SERIOUSLY have that big of a control issue? Yeah I get that both breasts were out. I GET that you dont like that.
Who did she hurt? Nobody! theyre just a part of her body. They happen top have glands in them, making them stick out a little further than a mans nipples would. Big whoop!!! You probably wouldnt have an issue with a woman wearing a teeny bikini, as long as her nipples were covered up, so tell me, what IS the VERY BIG DEAL about the other 1.5 inches of skin? Really!! What is it??? Its NOT a big deal. Most people have seen them, most people have been fed by them, and some people even feed other peoples babies with them. Big friggin deal...Sheesh...

I don't like the attitude of "I'm a mother, its a beautiful thing so I get to do whatever I want and people who say anything about it are assholes..." anymore than I dislike the attitude of "Feed your kid in the dirty bathroom because I'm offended by the slightest peek of flesh."

....except that YOU TOLD someone to take her kid into the grimy mildewy bathroom to have lunch JUST BECAUSE you dont want to look at those 2 extra inches OF flesh. Hypocrite!!!

It seems like common sense on both sides of the debate is the simplest solution.

Yeah.. I wish more people could see that the only difference between a womans breasts and a mans chest is simply the glands which are JUST internal... That would sure make for some reason and common sense...

 

[Angel Heart]

Same glands that the males have as well. They can lactate too.

Milkmen

 

[dilloduck]

I really need you to look at what you just wrote. THIS is the problem. It is NOT the womans responsibility to keep other peoples eyes from fixating on her. It is her RESPONSIBILITY to feed her child. I see it isnt an issue with her if she is acting as prudish as possible, and dare I say, HIDING her feminine breasts from all those disgusting pigs that seem to have such a hige problem with any mouths except their own touching that areola of hers... Good grief.. Boobs pop out. Big friggin deal. People dont even make this big of a deal about it if a womans top or bottoms come off in the pool, or a guys shorts fall down. Get over it! People dont have to babysit YOU, so dont try to babysit THEM!!! The happy medium will happen when women stop LETTING MEN EXPLOIT THEM THIS WAY!!! You probably call your female friends "beeotches"... I bet you do. Think about that, the next time YOU have a problem with a woman using her natural anatomy to feed her infant. Maybe you ARE a mysoginist. I refuse to go that far, myself, but this is obviously all about YOU and YOUR distaste for a woman breastfeeding.. ((((unless of course she acts like she lives in the 1700s and covers up as prudishly and quietly as friggin possible))) Well! Wecome to 2007...







Because theyre just BREASTS. Do you SERIOUSLY have that big of a control issue? Yeah I get that both breasts were out. I GET that you dont like that.
Who did she hurt? Nobody! theyre just a part of her body. They happen top have glands in them, making them stick out a little further than a mans nipples would. Big whoop!!! You probably wouldnt have an issue with a woman wearing a teeny bikini, as long as her nipples were covered up, so tell me, what IS the VERY BIG DEAL about the other 1.5 inches of skin? Really!! What is it??? Its NOT a big deal. Most people have seen them, most people have been fed by them, and some people even feed other peoples babies with them. Big friggin deal...Sheesh...



....except that YOU TOLD someone to take her kid into the grimy mildewy bathroom to have lunch JUST BECAUSE you dont want to look at those 2 extra inches OF flesh. Hypocrite!!!



Yeah.. I wish more people could see that the only difference between a womans breasts and a mans chest is simply the glands which are JUST internal... That would sure make for some reason and common sense...

ok--I'm done exploiting women--I'm not showing my nipples in public ever again so I can feel same pain that they go through.---and if someone tries to look down my shirt I'm gonna kick em in the------well----whatever they have or haven't.

 

[Gunny]

ok--I'm done exploiting women--I'm not showing my nipples in public ever again so I can feel same pain that they go through.---and if someone tries to look down my shirt I'm gonna kick em in the------well----whatever they have or haven't.

Not me. I'm a topless male. It sucks being such a shameless ho, but sombody's got to do it.

 

[Gem]

MassageGirl, give me a friggin' break...you feel that breastfeeding is beautiful and wonderful, women should walk around topless with babies attached to both breasts even if they aren't breastfeeding just to demonstrate that we are beautiful creatures and our breasts aren't anything to be ashamed of...we get it, we really do. LOL.

But others - many of whom agree with you that breastfeeding is a beautiful and wonderful thing and that women should not be ashamed of their bodies - still don't want to see some strangers naked body while going about their daily chores.

I have no issues or problems with the naked human body. I've sunbathed topless on beaches in Spain and had conversations with my sister-in-law while she breastfed my nieces...I really could care less if the woman next to me on a plane breastfeeds her child on our flight...but I understand a gentleman who might be uncomfortable by it...so why should he have to suffer in silence when it could be cured by the woman simply showing respect for others by covering herself with a light blanket?!?!

Your opinions seem to imply that you think simply because a woman has to feed her child she gets to give a big "fuck you" to everyone else around her and do whatever the hell she wants. But she doesn't...she should be respectful of them just as they should be respectful of her and not give her a hard time for feeding her child in public.

Thats the way civilized societies work, MassageGirl...we don't all get to do whatever the hell we want to just because we feel like we should...we all obey some basic semblance of rules and social mores. Go ahead dislike it all you want...but the bottom line is that simple consideration on both sides of this argument solves the problem simply and without anyone having to be inconvenienced. I'm not quite sure why the concept of both mother and bystander being polite and respectful of one another is such an obscene notion to you but I don't really see the point of ranting about it when its just so simple to be polite AND feed your child in public at the same time (how do I know this when I don't have children? My brother and his wife have triplets...and if a woman can be polite and discreet when feeding THREE children at the mall, restaurants, Disney World, and while waiting to get her license renewed at the DMV and never once in a bathroom, I'm sure that other women can handle feeding one child discreetly as well, mothers are incredible women - I have faith in them).

As for the rest of your ranting (yes, its ranting when you respond to a calm post by insulting the poster even as you blatantly demonstrate that you didn't read her post clearly - I clearly stated that the locker room was a well appointed room with couches and carpet, not a "grimy bathroom" but hey, I guess in your rush to call me names there just wasn't time to read absolutely everything :roll: ), you went from saying that while you disagreed you respected my point and liked my debate style in one post to calling me a hypocritical misogynist for having the audacity to state that a woman can show respect for others by covering her breasts with a light blanket just as easily as those around her can show her respect by not freaking out if she happens to show some skin.

I don't see common respect for eachother as some sort of radical anti-woman idea...but apparently you do...sigh, to each his own.

 

[Bullypulpit]

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/Health/Story?id=3378982&page=2

If the baby is hungry, you feed it. End of discussion, except for those whose cognitive and moral development is stuck somewhere between 8 an 14.

 

[Angel Heart]

If the baby is hungry, you feed it. End of discussion, except for those whose cognitive and moral development is stuck somewhere between 8 an 14.

ITA

 

[actsnoblemartin]

I think their are moral standards or decency. I dont show my penis in public, a woman does not show her breasts in public. To me, it does not matter if the reason is sexual or not. Men and woman should behave and dress modestly, we need more social boundaries not less, And im ok with the fact that we have a difference of opinion. It will be interesting to see i am attacked for this

We currently have no rules, written or un-written rules for social decorum/appropriate behavior. You have a lot of rude people going around, not giving a dam, if they offend people, or hurt peoples feelings, because they want to do something, whether that is breast feeding in public, talking at a movie theater, not saying excuse me, not dressing appropriately, not acting appropriate. We are a nation of me first, selfish basterds, and will be destoryed by our selfishness, and lack of considerations for others, NOT just ourselves.

I find it very intolerant to say to anyone who is offended, NOT sorry you feel that way, but this attitude of how dare you be offended you, you have no right to feel the way you do, and i dont give a blank what you think or how you feel.

 

[actsnoblemartin]

I tried to stick to topic, but others refused or were incapable of that. Now, i am not a hypocrite, because my bad behavior has nothing to do with someone elses bad behaviour, and i am not criticizing them gunny, I am merely stating, I wish some would stay on topic.

Y'all want to duke it out, the rest of the thread which is off-topic is now in the taunting arena. Leave this thread to address the topic please.

 

[actsnoblemartin]

if you or others choose, key word choose to have kids, stop whining and complaining about it. Its your decision to have kids, and you have to deal with it. Stop making it societies burden that you chose to have kids, not everybody feels the same way you do, and they are not bigotted simply because they disagree with you, I find it intolerant and disingenuos of you to atttack me, simply for disagreeing with you. Reasonable people can disagree. And while i am no saint, that is not the point, i am specifially talking about htis.

I do not have to be perfect to have a criticism.
Plus i already apologize for my rude statements, I dont see you apologizing to gunny, or anyone else you were rude too.

And I am sure if she is also Hispanic and trying to control one child while providing nourishment to another who NEEDS it, you will tell her how insulted you are that she is speaking Spanish.

you have obviously never been a parent and had to run errands and had a screaming hungry infant on your hands.

you are an immature narrow minded bigot, IMHO.

 

[actsnoblemartin]

I agree with you 100%, what you are saying is pure common sense, good job!

We don't require everyone to eat in private.. However, when your children are screaming, common courtesy dictates that you remove them from the restaurant for everyone elses sake, as well as their own.

As for breastfeeding, a mother KNOWS when her child is most likely to want to eat. What's she doing traipsing through a mall during that time, anyway? It's also stressful for a baby to be fed in anything except a nice, calm environment. A friggen mall ain't it. Nor is a grocery store. If you MUST be out, then why not just go back to your car, if the place you're at doesn't have one of those nice little feeding rooms? Your car is at least private, and quiet.

 

[actsnoblemartin]

I think your partially missing the point. You are right, that its not about sex. But i believe its a modesty issue, the same reason people should dress modestly and act appropriate is the same reason not to breast feed in public. It is a question of boundaries, and people are violating peoples boundaries every day, and its not kosher in my opinion to say, your offended, you disagree, get over it. No, we are a society, that if we dont get back our common sense boundaries and limits, we will crumble like rome.

If the U.S. as a country didn't have such a complex about sexuality........

Er rewind. Okay breast feeding really isn't about sexuality, but it involves breasts and you know where are brains go next, you get the picture.

Anywho, few countries are is uptight about anything remotelyu sexual in nature as the U.S.

 

[actsnoblemartin]

I disagree, flashing breasts in public is against the law, and we shouldnt make special accomodations for breast feeding. If you want certain groups, like breast feeding is great, or an organization voluteers better facilities for it fine. But, i dont remember flashing or showing any body part as a right, perhaps with all due respect you should read the constitution cause i never saw or heard of it being there.

I think that this issue only rears its head when someone on one end of the "breastfeeding in public" issue or the other tries to make some sort of point about it.

While I plan to breastfeed and imagine that at some point in time I will have to do so in public, I will also admit to having been uncomfortable more than once at a woman breastfeeding in public. The most vivid memory of this I have was in highschool, I was a lifeguard, and there was a time when a woman pulled down her bathing suit top to her waist and fed her baby while sitting with her feet in the baby pool. She responded indignantly "would YOU want to eat YOUR lunch in the locker room?!?!" when my co-guard asked her to please feed her child there since there were numerous teenagers and adults who were uncomfortable by her being topless at the pool. I thought then, and I think now..."No, but then I wouldn't want to eat lunch with my mom flashing her goods to a whole bunch of damned strangers either, lady!"

It seems that what always happens when these cases get major press is that:

1) Some breastfeeding nut decides that she should have the right to take her top off and bare her breast in the middle of an Applebees and feed her child with no blanket and no one should dare comment that it makes them the slightest bit uncomfortable or else they are a misogynist pig who hates women and babies and should be publically humiliated for daring to comment against such a natural, beautiful thing.

2) Some idiot sees a woman calmly and quietly feeding her child as discreetly as possible and raises a ridiculous hissy fit because he can't stop starting at her breast long enough to read his paper or eat his salad without distraction.


People have the right to feed their children in public. People have the right to eat, shop, sit at a pool, or on a plane without having to look at some strange woman's breast. These two rights can be met with simple common sense.

Breastfeeding women, plan accordingly, bring a blanket to cover yourself so that you are not giving an eyeful of boobie to passerby's (you may feel its beautiful and natural...so do nudists...but unless you want to see a naked 60-year old nudist man shopping next to you at Target...lets continue to operate under the assumption that public nudity is a no-no). If you are covered, you can feed your child anywhere you want...but commonsense would tell you to do it somewhere calm, quiet, and out of the way (not for others, but for your child).

Passerbys...realize that a woman sitting quietly with a blanket draped over her shoulder and chest isn't cold...shes nursing, leave her alone. If, in the process of starting or stopping feeding her breast accidently comes briefly into view...give her a break...when you burp accidentally during a meal or talk with your mouth full or accidentally drop some nacho out of your mouth while eating in public...we don't point and scream that you are disgusting and demand you eat in private.

 

[Bullypulpit]

I disagree, flashing breasts in public is against the law, and we shouldnt make special accomodations for breast feeding. If you want certain groups, like breast feeding is great, or an organization voluteers better facilities for it fine. But, i dont remember flashing or showing any body part as a right, perhaps with all due respect you should read the constitution cause i never saw or heard of it being there.

It's not against the law in Columbus, Ohio...nor in several other major metropolitan areas. But, just as marijuana use leads straight to heroine addiction...seeing a woman breast-feeding her baby in public leads straight to hard-core XXX porn addiction and perpetual self-abuse.

 

[Gunny]

I think their are moral standards or decency. I dont show my penis in public, a woman does not show her breasts in public. To me, it does not matter if the reason is sexual or not. Men and woman should behave and dress modestly, we need more social boundaries not less, And im ok with the fact that we have a difference of opinion. It will be interesting to see i am attacked for this

We currently have no rules, written or un-written rules for social decorum/appropriate behavior. You have a lot of rude people going around, not giving a dam, if they offend people, or hurt peoples feelings, because they want to do something, whether that is breast feeding in public, talking at a movie theater, not saying excuse me, not dressing appropriately, not acting appropriate. We are a nation of me first, selfish basterds, and will be destoryed by our selfishness, and lack of considerations for others, NOT just ourselves.

I find it very intolerant to say to anyone who is offended, NOT sorry you feel that way, but this attitude of how dare you be offended you, you have no right to feel the way you do, and i dont give a blank what you think or how you feel.

In Okinawa, it is perfectly acceptable for Okinawans to whip it out and piss on a tree. It's a cultural thing.

 

[RetiredGySgt]

In Okinawa, it is perfectly acceptable for Okinawans to whip it out and piss on a tree. It's a cultural thing.

Well actually they are supposed to pee in the provided ditches. Not on the few trees they have in the cities. )

 

[actsnoblemartin]

I would agree, and since im an uncle, since only a few days ago, my sister will breast feed, so, i dont mind breast feeding in public as long as its done as discreetly as possible. I think mothers need to know its a privalege, not a right to breast feed in public, in other words, dont abuse it.

IMO, as long as the mom and baby are covered, shouldn't be an issue. Bathrooms as we all know are gross.

On the other hand, if a Demi Moore wannabee free and natural, that is not fair for the many that don't want that nudity, which a bare breast is.

 

[MassageGirl]

I would agree, and since im an uncle, since only a few days ago, my sister will breast feed, so, i dont mind breast feeding in public as long as its done as discreetly as possible. I think mothers need to know its a privalege, not a right to breast feed in public, in other words, dont abuse it.

Well, until YOU start having to wear a shirt everywhere you go, and the "nipple popping out" of YOUR tank top becomes this MAJOR ISSUE, then you dont really have a leg to stand on. Men have nipples, and so do women. Its NOT an issue to you, if a woman is showing the REST of her breast, asidr FROM the nipple area. BFD!!! So her nipple shows for a few minutes! I'm sure youve been to some bikini or wet T shirt contest. Grow up. Just because THESE women are NOURISHING a baby's stomach rather than your OGLING EYES, doesnt mean JACK.
If the sight of a womans breasts are such a big friggin issue for you, why not try to outlaw these bikinis that show the bottoms or sides of breasts, or try to outlaw the wet t shirt contests? I know why, because you think that women should only be here to serve you, and thats all. Once we have stretch marks and tummy rolls, we are only useful for cooking your dinners, cleaning your house, and picking up your skid marked underwear, isnt that right?
Get over yourself. I am so sick of all the male supremacy mysoginy on here. GAWD.

 

[MassageGirl]

PS It IS NOT a privilage to breastfeed in public. It is all a part of the NATURAL HUMAN NEED. It is no more a privilage to breastfeed ones baby in public than it is a privilage to have sex with someone youre attracted to in private, which by the way, is how babies are made. For gods sake, what is your problem!!! Do you talk to your mother this way? Your sister?

What happened with your family? Your dad used to beat the crap out of your mom, and as a result, you no longer have any sensibility about you, or respect for women?

 

[Angel Heart]

I would agree, and since im an uncle, since only a few days ago, my sister will breast feed, so, i dont mind breast feeding in public as long as its done as discreetly as possible. I think mothers need to know its a privalege, not a right to breast feed in public, in other words, dont abuse it.

http://www.ncsl.org/programs/health/breast50.htm

Thirty-nine states have laws with language specifically allowing women to breastfeed in any public or private location (Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Florida, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Indiana, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New Mexico, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Oregon, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Utah, Tennessee, Texas, Vermont, and Wyoming).

Twenty-one states exempt breastfeeding from public indecency laws (Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, Florida, Illinois, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, South Dakota, Tennessee, Utah, Virginia, Washington and Wisconsin).
Thirteen states have laws related to breastfeeding in the workplace (California, Connecticut, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Minnesota, New Mexico, Oklahoma, Oregon, Rhode Island, Tennessee, Texas, and Washington).
Twelve states exempt breastfeeding mothers from jury duty (California, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Kansas, Kentucky, Minnesota, Mississippi, Nebraska, Oklahoma, Oregon and Virginia).
Four states have implemented or encouraged the development of a breastfeeding awareness education campaign (California, Illinois, Missouri, and Vermont).
Virginia allows women to breastfeed on any land or property owned by the state.

If you even bug a breastfeeding mom you might be on the wrong side of the law.